Just Don't Think I... -- (Completed)

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I...

Gus & Harley

April 2003

This story was my 1st ever fan fiction

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I... Chapter 1

NO!!!!!!! Gus screams as he wakes up in a cold sweat. As he lies there he reaches for Harley only to remember that he is sleeping in the guestroom down the hall from her. He tries to shake the dream but can't because it is haunting him. As he thinks about it he see it in his mind,
It is Harley fighting with Steve Gidrey and as he takes aim and fires. Yet when he fires he sees that Harley is turned toward him and there is blood on her sweater as she falls slowly to the floor.

Down the hall, Harley hears Gus scream and wants to go to him but she knows that if she does Gus won't come near her. She is still trying to figure out why Gus decided to sleep in the guestroom, knowing they have talked about his possible part in her shooting. Harley says to herself, "Forget this, I will not stay in here when he is hurting and needs me." She slowly gets out of bed and goes to Gus's room. She slowly opens the door goes in and stops.

Gus hears the door open and says without turning around to face her, " Harley baby, anything wrong?" No, Gus nothing's wrong, I heard you screaming and wanted to make sure you were okay. "I'm okay Coop, you can go back to sleep. I didn't wake the boys did I?"
No, you didn't wake the boys, Harley said wishing she could see Gus's face but he had his back to her.
"Gus look at me." Gus shook his head " No." Harley takes a step toward him; "Honey look at me please." He shook his head again but slowly turns to look at her. As he turns Harley sees tears pouring down his face.

Harley slowly reaches toward him. She sees what he needs but in her mind she says "he is pulling away from me and I don't know why." As her hand stills in mid air he slowly shakes his head and walks to the window. Harley, knowing that he will tell her in his own time what he is feeling slowly walks to the door with a tear running down her cheek.

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I... Chapter 2

The Next Morning

As Harley is fixing breakfast for Zach and Jude her mind wanders back to Gus and what she saw last night, when she hears Gus come down the stairs and in the kitchen. "Morning Honey" she says without turning around. Gus is just standing there in his pajama bottoms looking at her. When she looks up he looks away. "Hey buddy, are you taking care of mommy for me?" he ask Zach when he nods Gus smiles.
He goes to stand with Harley and says, "Baby you need to sit down and eat, so you will get your strength back." I will sit down if you'll do something for me. Gus looks at her "What?" Kiss Me! As she says it Gus looks away but he really wants to kiss her so he leans over and kisses her cheek.

After he kisses her cheek she looks at him and says "Gus, try again." I won't sit down and eat until you at least kiss me Good Morning the way you always do and you know I love it when you kiss me. Gus shakes his head No, but knowing she won't sit down until he does. He slowly takes her face in his hands he looks at her with all the love in his eyes and gives her a mind-shattering kiss. For what seemed like forever he held Harley within the gentle embrace of his arms wanting to go on kissing her but seeing in his mind her lying in the hospital. As he broke the kiss Harley caressed his cheek and said, " I Love You Gus" As she goes to the table she hears Gus whisper " I Love You too"

As they are eating breakfast Gus eats his in silence and as fast as he can so he go take a shower. Since every time he is around her he goes back to the dream he had the night before. Harley watches him as she eats and thinks to herself "He is so sexy first thing in the morning" She begins to study his face and sees that his hair is in spikes as if he'd been pulling at it, stubble on his face and shadows under his eyes.
Gus feels her looking at him, shovels the last of his cereal in his mouth. As he gets up to leave he mumbles " Coop, I'm going to take a shower, I'll be back in a few minutes." She nods her head and as he walks out says " Honey we need to talk" As he looks at her she sees the fear and pain in his eyes he says "Yeah baby I need to talk to you" Give me time, I just don't think I can right now.

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I... Chapter 3

During the afternoon, Harley has been watching Gus trying to get him to talk to her but he still won't. After watching him last week and how he is acting she has finally realized what's had him almost to the point of tears and fear in his eyes. As Harley tries to think of something to snap him out of his guilt she thinks Oh baby, I love you there is nothing for you to feel guilty about --

Before she could finish that thought the doorbell rang. As she started to get up Gus came through the room "Harley, I'll get it don't move." Before Gus could open it Frank came through the door, Gus honey, could you get a glass of water for me? He nods and goes to the kitchen. "Hey Sis, how are you feeling?" I'm feeling better. As Frank nods he says, "I'm here to pick up the boys, I wanted to spend time with them. Do you mind if they spend a few days with Marina and me? " No, I don't. Thanks Frank, they're upstairs," Harley said with a smile. As Gus comes in he hands the water to Harley as she says, Frank is going to take the boys for a few day" He smiles and tells Zach and Jude to have a good time.

After they leave Harley tells Gus that she will need help to change the bandages on the wound. Gus looks at her and asks, "Is it hurting baby?" Yeah it is, Gus picks her up and takes her upstairs to the bedroom where the bandages are. As Harley waits she slips out of her shirt. As Gus comes back with the bandages all he can do is swallow as he thinks, Her skin is so soft!! When he comes to her side he looks at her with desire. He changes the bandage. When he does she whispers "Love Me" He looks away and says "I can't babe" Harley looks at him and says "Yes, you can" Gus" I need you to hold me.

Gus leaned over the bed and gave her small kisses on her face. He knew he shouldn't since he wasn't handling things well. However, she needs him as much as he needs her. Harley I'll hold you. As he kissed her she reached up to caress his face and when she did he whispered "I love you" and in desperation to show her he loved her gave her a deep tender kiss. While he kissed her it was as if both their clothes melted away and he just caressed her until he was dizzy with love for her. She ran her hands over his arms and body while they kissed. Gus slowly lifted her face to look in her eyes as he ran his fingers down her body "Gus now!!!" Harley breathed. He held her gently and they slipped over the edge together. Afterwards, as they lay in bed he was kissing her hair as tears ran down his face. Harley looked at him and saw tears and reached to caress his cheek and said, "Gus I love you, you know that. He nodded. She could tell he was pulling away. As she looked at him he looked away "Honey talk to me" All Gus said through his tears was "I can't yet Coop"

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I... Chapter 4

Gus slowly comes awake to the feeling of Harley wrapped around him. As he gets up to take a shower he is beating himself up for loving last night since he is trying to deal with his guilt. As he steps in the shower he realizes what he has to do. I have to talk to her today and tell her what the dream is doing to me before it completely eats me up inside with guilt. He thinks to himself as the warm water beats down on his shoulders. As Gus comes out of the bathroom he notices that Harley is not in bed and in a hurry he dresses and heads to the kitchen. When he walks in the kitchen Harley is sitting at the table waiting for him. He leans over and gives her a gentle kiss. As they eat Gus looks at her and whispers "Coop, I love you" Harley smiles with tears in her eyes. "I know Gus."

A little while later, Harley is laying on the couch watching Gus as he wonders through the house. While she watches her heart breaks a little more knowing that he needs to talk. When the doorbell rings she starts to get up but Gus comes in and says "Baby, you need to rest, I'll get it." She lays back down as Frank comes in with the boys saying Hey sis!! Before she can answer Zach launches himself at Gus as he catches him. Zach gives him a huge hug and says, "Guss I really missed you." Gus hugs the boy back while he looks at Harley and says, "I missed you and Jude both too buddy, why don't you take your brother upstairs and play while." As Gus puts him down Zach nods and all the adults watch the boys go upstairs.

Then Frank turns to Gus and says, "What the heck are you still doing here Aitoro? I thought I told you to leave her alone. You are not good enough for Harley."
As he says that Gus takes a swing at Frank and Harley doesn't stop him. Watching Frank grumble about Gus, Harley holds her hand out for Gus and he walks over and takes her hand and kisses it.

[Shanna]

Just Don't Think I... Chapter 5 (Conclusion)

"Frank, Gus I am going to go upstairs and check on the boys I'll be back" I'll go sis Frank said but she shakes her head No and slowly gets up.

After both men watch her go upstairs, Frank says, I'm warning you Aitoro." You are the reason she ended up in the hospital. Gus just stands there and looks at Frank for a minute before he says,

Don't you think I know that Frank!!! I do not need you reminding me every time you see me, Let me tell you something. A part of me died when I saw that Harley had been shot and I realized it could have been from my gun. At the top of the stairs Harley had just heard what Gus said and waits to hear the rest of the conversation. Frank, you can have my badge I don't care! You want to blame me go ahead, I blame myself. Your sister is my life and I almost lost her. If she had died you could have killed me because I wouldn't want to live without Harley.

As Frank listens he realizes that Gus would never intentionally hurt Harley because he really does love her.
Just then Harley starts down the stairs. She ask Frank to leave and as he does. Harley said, "Gus, honey we need to talk" Gus looks at her and says," Yeah baby I am ready to talk to you I need you."

Gus walks to the stairs to go to the bedroom where they can talk. As he starts up, he picks Harley up saying, "This is eating me up baby." As he lays her on the bed he starts talking Every time I go to sleep I have this dream. He looks away as his voice fades. Harley sensing his fear reaches to kiss and caress his cheek as she whispers "Take it slow, talk to me honey." Gus takes a breath and tries again "I have this flashbacks of the day you got shot and it is you fighting with Steve Gidrey and I'm standing at the window taking aim and firing. But after I fire I see that you are turned toward me and there is blood on your sweater as you fall slowly to the floor. After he tells her he looks away and says "I'm so sorry, Babe it's my fault."

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As Harley is listening to him she says, "Gus, look at me." She slowly takes his face in her hands and looks in his eyes. "I'm here. I'm alive I have you, the man I love and get to wake up next to every morning, I have my boys, and I have my family. I don't blame you for my getting shot. Gus shakes his head, but Harley I shot you!! Before Gus could finish Harley placed a finger over his lips and said, "Honey, listen to what I'm saying and trust and believe me. YOU are not the bad guy the bad guy is dead. He is the one who shot me not you. There is no reason for you to feel guilty, you are the one who saved me from something that could have been worse."


“Harley, babe I just don't think I can get those memories out of my mind. I almost lost you. Gus, I will help you deal with those memories, if we have to we will talk about it whenever they bother you.” Gus leaned back on the bed holding her saying, “I remember I was waiting in the corner of your hospital room while they were trying to stabilize you, I was talking to you, hoping you could feel me near you and know I hadn't gone anywhere. I was talking about what it would have been like had we been best friends when we were kids, and how Frank would have killed me then too. I was talking to you about the boys and how much they needed you, about how much I needed you. I remember saying "I know your tired babe, but I carry you"

As he said that Harley stopped and looked at him strangely,
"Harley what's wrong?" Nothing, say that again Gus. "I know your tired babe, but I'll carry you." Gus repeated. Honey that sounds familiar. Gus looked at her with tears in his eyes. That's what I said at the hospital Harley. As Harley started crying she said " I heard you Gus, my heart heard you -- I came back to be with you, I couldn't leave you.
At that moment, as they held each other Gus knew that he now longer hurt and if he were haunted with those images again, and when he reached out Harley would be there. As Gus softly kissed her he whispered, "You are my love, you are my soulmate and we are partners Coop." With tears in both their eyes they shared a kiss that completed them both body to body, heart to heart, and soul to soul.

[CanadianLady]

Wow! That was great. Although it did bring tears to my eyes. Can't wait to read more of your stories.
Kathy