From Nicholas to Gus: Part 2

[Shanna]

The journal entries in this story will pick up a couple of months after the last entry from the previous story & go thru where they are now.... So, sit back as we explore the silent side of Gus again & enjoy! Mentions: there will be entries written that he will talk about & we will see but they never will have happened on the show! Like before there will also be entries about Harley written in.

*** This story was never finished, maybe eventually I decide to finish. I have posted the chapters I have already written.

This story was begun in October 2006

[Shanna]

Chapter 1

Harley sat on his side of the bed still as a stone as she stared down at the book that she had only seen once before.

"Lover!" she heard him call from downstairs as he came back from taking the boys to spend the weekend with Grandpa Buzz.

Gus stood by the door waiting to hear her voice, not hearing it he looked around puzzled since he knew she was still home.

"Honey?" he called again but no answer. When there was no answer the second time his heart began to speed up afraid something had happened to her. He called her name again as he bounded up the stairs to the bedroom knowing hed left her there to take a nap.

He ran all the way to their door and stopped short for a second when he saw her sitting on the bed. Not thinking he continued in until he reached her then lifting her without a word hugged her tightly to him as he held on.

"Don't scare me like that baby." He stated.

"What?" she asked again finally being pulled from her thoughts.

"I called your name as soon as I came in and you didn't answer; so I called you again and when no answer came I ran up here afraid something was wrong."

"Shhhh, I'm sorry babe, I was lost in thought & didn't hear you."

Continuing to look over her shoulder, he finally saw what she'd been looking at so intently.

"What were you thinking?" he wondered as he stepped around her to pick up his journal.

"About the entries I had read last time you let me read it."

"Do you want to continue reading since the boys are with Buzz? After all I did say that if you wanted on our next bout of free time it was here." he wondered

"Yes, if youll let me. Harley replied quietly. I didnt know you still kept it going."

He nodded knowing she saw that more entries had been added. "Before you do I need to ask you this, I told you a long time ago I'd check with you every once in a while and see if you were happy Are you happy Harley?" he asked staring into her eyes waiting for her answer.

She rested the back of her head on his shoulder as she looked at him, -- "we've had our ups & downs baby & we've had rough patches but knowing I have you in my life Gus, makes them worth it yes honey I'm happy." She answered as his head lowered to claim her mouth.

After a few minutes of sharing a kiss that touched them both he broke away, leading her back to sit on the bed he sat with her as she held his journal. Getting comfortable they settled back as he took the journal to find the entry that was next for her to read.

Pushing her hair behind her ear, he handed it to her and she began to read:

June 20, 2003

I'm writing this entry as I sit here and watch Harley sleep. I needed time to gather my thoughts for this entry, where do I begin

I'm flying man am I flying! My girl agreed to be my wife tonight!! We had dinner with Al tonight & I knew that wasn't what Harley wanted to do but she tried for me.

I knew Harley doesn't realize it but I knew she was standing at the door listening while I was outside talking to Alan. I always know when she's close. I felt her there as I began talking with Al. She's what gave me the strength to talk about dad. Sitting there talking I figured Alan would laugh at me about what I was saying but amazingly he didn't; he listened. How much he really heard I don't know but he listened.

After that we talked until he got a phone call and had to leave to take care of Spaulding business. It was at this point Harley realized Alan wasn't staying & claimed he was too good for just cookies & ice cream, so I followed her into the house & for a split second when I looked at her before she lashed out at me I saw it she was scared of something.

I asked her to talk to me, just tell me but she walked to the table without a word, when she finally spoke what she said was the last thing I expected, I feel you slipping away from me! she stated.

Oh baby, I could never leave you.leaving you is not an option, it would hurt too much.

I wanted to wait & propose in bed but seeing her face I knew she needed to hear how much I loved her right then. So I took my mothers ring & moved it to her other hand, much to her confusion.

Harley will forever be my home and I wanted to be the one to take care of her & her sons for the rest of her life. For the rest of my life!

So, getting down on one knee I proposed & in my bumbling way with words I told her how much I loved her & what she means to me. I love her beyond words; my love for her will always be there. I hope she will know through our life that she will always be a part of me.

I will honestly say that when I placed the ring on her finger tonight my heart finally found its place to rest. And where I knew it would be forever.

I Love you Harley Cooper!!!

More Later

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Harley sat in stunned silence as Gus gently wiped away her tears. You wrote about that night? He nodded, That was the biggest night of my life and wanted to remember everything that happened.

You knew I was at the door? He nodded, I know whenever you're close. Seeing the scared look in your eyes that night just killed me, I wanted you to be happy & I knew after hearing what you'd said that you needed to know where I was headed, mind, body, & soul. I love you baby he whispered kissing her temple.

I love you too Gus.

[Shanna]

Chapter 2


She hugged Gus than sat back and turned the next page. Do I need to know anything before I read this entry honey? she wondered. No, just one of those random thoughts. Gus answered knowing shed think different when she read his thoughts.

November 14, 2003.

Olivia!

Harley & I got a call tonight while we were at the station saying that a man had tried to break in to a woman's apartment. So, we headed to the address, once we got there the owner of the building opened the door to the apartment & was telling us about seeing the stranger bother one of his tenets. He told us he had scared him away but was worried about the lady who owned the apartment. A minute later the lady appeared & Harley & I looked at each other knowing immediately who the stranger probably was. Phillip. He had stalked this woman. She had shoulder length brown hair & pregnant. In Phillip's sick mind he thought he'd seen Olivia.

But in reality all he had done was terrify this woman to the point she didn't want to be alone. So, we didn't want her to be alone, and neither did we want Phillip to get away if he should decide to come back so Coop & I decided to stake out the apartment. We told the woman there was a room at the Springfield Inn & she could stay there and gave her the key. I notified the black & white that was downstairs & had them take the woman to the hotel & stay with her.

It was then that Harley & I talked about how we'd work together before & in doing so we shared a kiss that hit me like a ton of bricks she took my breath away!

Anyway, where was I....

After Coop & I took a look around, Harley is standing by the window while I'm here on the couch, I should be with her but I can't stop thinking about the lady we are protecting. She seems like a nice woman, has one of the rooms here all set up for a nursery to bring her child too. I can't help but imagine how she must have felt when she was being followed by a strange man. As I watched the woman all my mind would go too was Harley when she'd been pregnant with Jude. What if someone was doing this to her when she'd been pregnant, I'd have moved heaven & earth to keep her safe.

The lady needed to be safe herself & protect her child from harm. Phillip had terrified her I could see that in her eyes! Im sure Harley would have offered to stay with her if I hadn't said we'd both were staying. In the back of my head all I can see is my girl here if Phil had come back. In his mind he would've hurt her if he thought she was trying to keep him from Olivia & his child. I couldn't have that!! I mean I wouldn't want to be kept from my child, yet at the same time I wouldn't hurt the woman I loved enough to share a child with. I just don't think Phillip would be that rational.

I sit here writing by flashlight while Harley is asleep on the sofa across from me. Even though Phil & I share biology he is not my brother, I would protect my family including Lizzie from any of his schemes. At this point all I see is a younger version of Alan.

I'm not sure if Harley would understand but I feel for the woman we are protecting because no one should ever be terrorized. Seeing Phil as he is now Olivia has a right to do whatever possible to protect the life she carries. I cant believe I'm saying this, but if Olivia came to me & asked for help right now I'd do what I could to protect her.

More Later

Harley sat in shock, Gus I didn't know you felt like that that night. I wasn't sure how to tell you so I didn't. he replied.

Caressing his face, she watched him, You honestly thought if Phillip came back that night he would have hurt us both? Gus nodded, Yes, Phillip was sick & desperate he would be capable of anything & I couldn't risk your life, not after I had just gotten you back. So, having me alone wasn't the only reason you stayed? she asked giggling. He chuckled, No, I figured if you stayed there to stake out the place by yourself he might come back & cause problems. I wanted him to see you weren't alone & would never be again.

Come on, lets go downstairs & I'll cook dinner. Gus said as he helped her up then swung her up into his arms & placing a kiss on her nose carried her down the stairs through the family room to the kitchen where he placed her in a chair so she could be with him there as she read more.

[Shanna]

Chapter 3


Early February

Man, I hate Jeffrey O'Neil. He is driving me insane. He has recruited me to work with him on trying to find out who's behind the street drug Delirium or Antimonious whichever you want to call it. I've made contact with a dealer who thinks I'm a druggie. I sit here hour after hour waiting for Otis to show. Sometimes he's on time sometimes sometimes not. Every time I check in with Jeff and say the dealers a no show that I'm leaving & going home; he freaks out on me then tells me Harley wouldn't want me to quit just hang in there a little longer.

He does not realize the longer I'm on the street just sitting and waiting 2 things could happen 1. The longer I'm here I'm not where I want to be, that is at home with my girl & 2. Just sitting could get me recognized or made as a cop by someone that knows me as a cop other than my friends & my cover could or would be blown with Otis!

When I bring this up to O'Neil he says wait it out, then always brings up Harley & what she wants me to do or he brings her up in the strangest ways. I cant quite figure out why hes always bringing her up. All I want to do right now is not deal with Brad Greene & Jeff I just need to go home, take a shower, change clothes & hold my girl. I hate when I'm away from her.

Something strange happened When I got home from SE tonight I walked in the house & there was complete silence; I called out to Harley but she didn't answer so I thought maybe shed gone out. As I reached the bedroom I saw that the light on my side was on & Harley was already in bed, she's never in bed before I get home.

I watched her for a minute then went to climb on the bed behind her. When I did she finally said something but never looked at me. I asked if she were sick & she told me no, just a little tired. I began to tell her about my day as I lay behind her. So, help me as I placed my arm over her waist I think she flinched. Why? I tried to get her to talk to me but she wouldn't.

We didn't say anything as we lay there but then she turned her head toward me asking me to kiss her when I did she just held on to me then asked me to make love to her. Afterward she curled into me so I held her tighter. I whispered that I loved her and she took my hand.

Something is wrong but she wont tell me what? I remember as I fell asleep that night I held her tight as I stroked her hair when I did felt a tear spill onto my chest.

Harley baby tell me whats wrong please!

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She closed the book for minute, looking away. I knew something was wrong sweetheart. Gus said softly. I know you did but I thought if I looked at you right then you'd see someone different. No, all I saw was the woman I love in pain & I didn't know how to help & that hurt me.

Hugging her Gus turned the page