He's Still Here (Active)

[Shanna]

Original story ... Gus was missing from Dec 30, 2005 to March 27, 2006 and in that time he was given pain pills for an injury he sustained at the car accident.

He's Still Here is a story about Gus & Harley & dealing with Gus's pain pill addiction.

Late March / 2006

[Shanna]

Chapter 1

Hey Everyone… This is my new story based on the GusH upcoming storyline. This will be a bit different so bare with me. It will be slow going for a while so hang in there. Mallet will be in the story unfortunately but he will pay by the end. It’s short I know. Hope you like ~~ GG

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“Gus, honey it’s me… I’ll never stop looking for you, I love you.” Harley said as she stood there watching him. Gus knew she wasn’t really there but seeing her is what kept him going, he knew he’d see her eventually or he’d die trying.

When he shrank back from the pain in his leg she reached for him. Shaking his head he replied through clinched teeth, “Wait for me baby.” Blowing him a kiss she nodded and faded away.

An hour later the nurse came in, “Mr. Aitoro its time for your pill sir.” “NO! I don’t need it or want it, I have to keep my head clear and being in pain will help me. Go away.”

“But sir?”

“Just go away.” Gus remarked. She looked at him for a minute then set his pill and the glass of water down on the table and left.

“I need Harley.” He mumbled trying to stay coherent but his leg was hurting so badly. Looking around he was looking for a way to escape without drawing attention.

Across Town…

Harley sat as still as a stone, “what’s happening to me?” she wondered when she realized she was achy all over and her leg felt as if a knife had been stabbed in it. She waited until the pain had gone before she tried walking to the car.

“I know Beth and Alan are lying to me! He’s alive I know it.” She replied furiously “Alan wouldn’t have carved that “G” I found.” Digging in her pocket she pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

“Mallet, its me listen I found… Oh you and Dinah are together, hey listen; never mind stay with her. Bye.” Shutting the phone she left and headed for the hospital where she knew Beth and Alan would be.

Asylum…

Gus had to sit down, his leg felt like it was on fire. Tears slid from his eyes, he couldn’t help it all this pain was too much. He stared at the pill that was on the table but shook his head.

“No, no I can’t I’m okay… I don’t need them.” He said emphatically. With Harley I’ll be fine.

When he tried to stand he crumbled his leg wouldn’t hold him. Letting his head fall forward he stayed on all fours for a minute. “No! No!” He whispered. Pulling his head up he stared at the pill—crawling forward he fought himself even as he reached for the pill. Putting it in his mouth he reached for the water and taking the first drink he closed his eyes as the pill went down.

“I don’t need it.”

Sitting down where he was he rubbed the indention on his finger where his wedding band had been, “Forgive me Harley.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To Be Continued…

Copyright © GusGus March / 2006

[Shanna]

Chapter 2

“I need to get out of here… I need to find a way out.” He murmured to himself as he peeked through the small area as he opened the door to his room to see if the guard was still outside. When he saw that the guard wasn’t there Gus slowly slipped out the door and closed it behind him then went to look for a way out.

Harley stood outside the door of the old building that Marina had found the address for, “please let me find something here.” She stated as she knocked on the door. When the guard opened the peep hole she stepped forward, “I was told a man by the name of Gus Aitoro might be here, I was wondering if I could come in & find out.” “Sorry lady I have a job to do here…” Harley held up her badge, “Can I look now?” she wondered. The guard closed the peep hole then opened the door,

“Always willing to help officer.” He said stepping back to let her in then closed the door.

She slowly began to look down the halls as she walked in. Not seeing anyone she looked back at the guard and noticed his weapon. Turning away her eyes swept down the hall again as she asked, “Since when were weapons allowed in a sanitarium?” The guard grabbed her by the arms and pushed her face first at the door as he placed the gun at her ribs.

“Who are you?” he wanted to know.

Gus was making his way down a side hall when he heard the guard talking. Inching closer so he could see who the guard was with he looked around the corner and his heart stopped. There stood his girl with a gun in her ribs. He knew he had to help but he couldn’t call out without causing both her & himself problems so he listened as he thought

“Who are you?” the guard asked again digging the gun harder into her ribs. “Okay, alright I just want my husband, Gus Aitoro is my husband, you must know something or you wouldn’t be holding a gun on me. The guard remained quiet.

“Please, I just want to know if he is here.” Harley begged.

Gus looked around in the hall where he was for something that could make some noise but not a lot so that he could draw attention away from Harley. His eyes landed on a cart a few feet away, seeing a small keyring filled with keys he picked them up and looked around the corner again then began to gently rattle the keys. When the guard looked around Harley made her move and tackled the guard enough to punch him and send him to the floor.

As Harley picked up the gun and carefully looked around Gus made his way to her, placing his hand over the back of her shoulder. Harley whorled around to face whoever was behind her. When she saw who it was she instantly closed her eyes, knowing he couldn’t really be there.

“Long time no see, babe.” Gus softly said watching her. Hearing his voice her eyes popped open, “Is it you? Is it really you?”

Reaching out he lay his hand over her cheek only to touch her, “I’m real sweetheart.” He replied as he limped forward, “Oh you are here!” she said slowly as she tried to breathe then began kissing his face lovingly as he leaned his forehead against hers. He held her close, “Gus what happen?” she asked. Feeling him hold her tighter he was silent a minute, “That’s nothing we need to talk about now… I just want to be with you. Let’s get this guy taken care of.” He suggested. After making sure the ropes were tight Harley closed the Linen closet door. Hearing Gus groan Harley turned putting her arm around him. “Come on we need to get you out of here and have that leg looked at.

“Don’t leave me okay.” He replied quietly. She stopped and turned to look at him. Caressing his face, “I’m not going anywhere babe. Let’s get out of here.”

At the hospital…

At the door into the hospital Gus stood frozen as he peered in the window.

“What is it?” Harley asked when she realized he’d stopped. Remaining silent Gus tried not to hyperventilate. Feeling her touch as she rubbed his back calmed him a bit. “What?” she asked again.

“Alan & Beth.”

“They’re still here? Come on lets let them know you’re alive.” “No. Harley.” he said pulling her away. “I can’t.” “People are going to be happy to know you’re back.” She remarked.

“They can be happy in a little while, I just… can’t…” he let his sentence die. Sliding her hand in his he squeezed it, “I just got you back Harley, now you want to share me--” He stopped. She saw something in his face as he continued, “I can’t be shared right now. I can’t, I can’t!” he stated burying his face in his hands.

“Hey, Gus, look at me.” She replied gently pulling his hands away. “Okay we won’t go in but you need to get your leg checked out.” “I can wait here while you find some bandages or whatever & you can do it.” He remarked.

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” She whispered kissing him.

Gus watched as she went in; when the door closed he reached in his pants pocket & pulled out a bottle of pills. Opening it he got one and swallowed it… his leg was killing him.

He started shaking, “Gus your going to be fine now.” He murmured to himself right as Harley walked to him. “Baby you’re shaking, you okay?”

Grabbing her to him, “I need to hold you for a second.” She nodded. “Take me to or place Harley.” When he let go she smiled.

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To Be Continued…

Copyright © GusGus March / 2006

[Shanna]

Chapter 3

They were standing in front of the car staring at their house when Harley began to step away. “Wait honey.” She stopped and looked back at him, “Let’s just stay here a minute please. “I’ve dreamed about seeing this house again. Taking her hand after a few minutes they slowly made their way inside.

Looking around he saw the picture of him, Harley, & the boys and smiled slightly. “Come on baby, get off that leg.” She said as she helped him sit down. He cringed as he tried to scoot back a little.

“Did you ever give up on me baby?”

“Honestly?” “Yeah, I can only handle the truth now.” He replied.

She walked over and sat down beside him, “Yes, after everything at the lake, in my head I knew you were dead. But then I’d think about something you’d said to me and I know I’d feel it if you were really gone and I didn’t feel it so I’d keep going. However when they found your wedding band and I actually saw it my heart stopped—in my heart I just knew you were dead since I know what the ring means to you…” she stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, “Everywhere I would look or be where we’d been I would see you and I knew you weren’t gone, it was like you were giving me the strength to keep going so I knew you were there. Honey in between those times when I’d feel you here ---.” Harley placed her hand over her heart, “—I did give up more than once.” She finished.

Gus started to reach out to tuck some hair behind her ear, “What if she doesn’t let me touch her now?” he wondered. Hesitating he thought better of it and dropped his hand. “You’re what got me through it you know.” He remarked. She wrapped her hands around his shoulders, “We’re together now. But honey I do need to call Frank.” He nodded as she stood then crouch to look through the bag, “and the boys need to know, they’ll be so excited to hear that you’re back, they missed you so much.”

“Did they really miss me Harley?” Her head came up to watch him, “Of course they did they love you very much—what did Alan put you through baby? What about Beth how was she involved?” When Gus heard her name he froze. Harley waited watching him, “after being gone like this, I guess I’ve just begun to doubt the simplest things, I’ve missed so much you know.”

She stood, “I know.” “I thought about you, Zach, and Jude, and to know I wasn’t with you was killing me.” He answered as he stood. They both watched each other not sure exactly what to do at this moment. “It’s so strange Harley, it was so cold & I was in pain but all I could think about was the bench outside Company… I mean I should have been thinking of a warm place but my mind took me back to that bench. I could see us when we first began dating and I found you outside after I’d come back from the warehouse and we held hands then the first time we told each other we loved each other. I even saw the times I’d see you with the boys sitting there talking, I even pictured you sitting there alone missing me.” When Harley took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his waist he pulled her to him, holding her calming as he held her. They were kissing when she felt Gus begin to crumble when his leg wouldn’t hold him anymore.

“Here baby sit and let me take care of this leg.” She helped him sit back down. Grabbing the supplies she knelt, “Did you hurt your leg at the crash site?” When he nodded she ripped open his pants leg.

“Oh babe.” She was shocked at seeing his leg. “It actually hurts pretty badly.” He remarked. Swiftly she cut through the tape holding the bandage in place, “Ahh easy ahh.” He remarked as she removed the bandage. “Gus.” Taking the ointment she slowly covered the area then wrapped his leg in a fresh bandage.

“Thank you.” He whispered. She looked up into his eyes as she stayed kneeling in front of him. Afraid to touch him now she smiled as the tip of her finger touched his bottom lip. “You’re welcome.” She said then kissed the palm of his hand. “I thought about you… All of you.” She sat back as he stood, “I would go over your body in my mind, I'd go over it inch by inch by inch, and then when I had a lot of time on my hands, I would go over it millimeter by millimeter by millimeter, and I would especially miss this part-- this part of your body—.” He motioned to her neck. “-- And then you know how some people's ears are attached to their body, and some people have like little floppy earlobes and I know what yours is like, and then I move to the back your neck, and I'd think about that little lock of hair that would get tangled up in a necklace, and you'd say, "Gus, can you help with this?" And then I'd pull it too hard, and then you would get angry with me. And then, hey, this is really strange, okay. But I spent about ten days on your toes, that's like a toe a day. And that got me through at least a week-and-a-half, you know.”

He froze when a car drove by. Harley stood and went to the window. Turning she walked back over, “There gone. You’re okay.” She replied rubbing his back until he relaxed.

“I missed feeling the weight of your arm across me in the mornings or the sound of you humming in the shower—.”

“You hear that?” Gus asked interrupting. “Yeah it reminds me your there. Same way when you kick me under the covers at night, it reminds me you’re there and I’m not alone. He saw her eyes fill with tears, “Honey?”

“You left me Gus… you LEFT me!!!!” Harley screamed. “I was trying to protect you from my father, you know that!” He answered. “Don’t do that… we could have handled Alan together. I cried for you until I couldn’t anymore, then I cried some more. I had to tell our boys you were in heaven Gus!” He closed his eyes as he listened.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“I can’t tell you the number of times when they said there prayers at night that they ended them with I love you Gus. Then I spent my entire day & night missing you, I slept with your final shirt until it almost fell apart!” He took a deep breath.

“Can’t you understand? I did this to protect you.” "No, no I don’t, you took away the life we were building, what you did was selfish, why do I always come last?” she asked wearily.

“Enough! That’s crap!!! If you want to blame me go ahead, blame me I can deal with it. Matter fact I think I paid for it, I was tortured in that cabin?!” He yelled.

Harley closed her eyes for a second, “Enough.” She said

“I’m sorry.” He answered quietly turning to walk away to the window.

She stood silently staring at his back then pulled her shirt over her head, “Gus, turn around.”

Slowly he turned and when he did he stopped, taking a deep breath. Reaching her hand toward him she saw a single tear fall as he reached her as they kissed; they both began crying.

Pulling her with him, they sank to the blanket as they continued to kiss. He pulled away enough to look at her, “Are you sure you want me to touch you?” he asked softly. Kissing him she nodded, “Lye back babe.” He kissed down her sides and back up reacquainting himself with her body. Gus unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her legs as she kicked them off. His mouth crashed to hers and they lost themselves in the kiss. Sitting up she helped him off with his jacket then began kissing down his back. As the sensation & desire built they rediscovered each other, when they couldn’t take much more Gus made them one.

As there pulses began to level she sat up on her elbow and began to touch him, she couldn’t seem to stop, he sat up and kissed her ankle and he too couldn’t stop touching her. “Can we make up for the time that was missed?” she wondered. He started to say Happy New Year but saw the look on her face, “Sweetheart you don’t know how hard I tried to get home for Valentine’s Day.” “You did?” He nodded then she told him about her Valentine’s Day here at the house. He held his hand out to her and she took it, “Welcome home Aitoro.” “It’s nice to be home.” He replied. “I Love you.” She said. “You do?” he asked not quiet sure. When she nodded he answered, “I love you to" then pulling her to sit up kissed her.

Harley was watching his face, “Sweetie, you need to rest, lets sleep for a while and regroup.” She suggested. “Don’t leave me.” “No, I’ll be right here.” She said helping him lay down. When he was holding her, she saw his eyes begin to close and caressed his face as he slept.

“I know you’re scared, but you’re okay now.” She whispered.

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To Be Continued…

[Shanna]

Chapter 4

“Don’t hurt her please, I’m coming baby.” Gus jerked awake. When he looked around he realized he was dreaming. Gus tried to pull his hands down; when they wouldn’t move he looked at his wrists; seeing he was still tied to the bed he sighed. Just then Beth opened the door and walked in. “Oh good you’re awake.” She said happily. “Let me leave these here & I’ll bring your food in.” She closed the door. He looked at what she sat down, it was the pain pills.

When she came in again, she was laughing as she tapped the broken table leg against her palm. “Let me go Beth, your fight is with Al not me.” “Not you hmmm, who was it that helped Harley humiliate me.” “You were trying to take her job.” He heard himself say.

“Her job?! Her job?” Beth screeched as she dug the table leg into his leg. “AHHHH,” he went stiff as pain radiated up his body.

“Stop Beth!” She just smiled and did it again holding it on his leg longer. “That –job- is-not-hers.” She said evenly. “Did you like that Gus?” she asked. When he could finally breathe again he shook his head.

“Aww no? How about this?” she asked beating his arms.

He strained against the ropes that held him, “Stop! No!! Don’t!! Stop PLEASE??” he screamed as he woke up in a cold sweat.

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Watching as he sat up and hugged his knees she saw when he dropped his head. Touching his shoulder he jumped, “Honey, it’s me… you’re safe.” Harley said gently as she sat up with him. “Do you want me to stop touching you?” When he shook his head she rubbed his back. Running her hand over his hair as he kept his head on his knees, she waited until he calmed down.

“What do you want me to do Gus?” she wondered. “Hold me.” She heard his gravelly voice ask.

Placing her hands over his arms from a little behind him she felt him shrink back in pain. “Hurts.” He whispered even though the bruises were no longer there.

“Better?” she asked when her hands moved down to wrap lightly around his waist. He nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Laying her chin on his shoulder she kept her face close and saw when he rubbed his wrists as if the ropes were still cutting into his skin. Gently reaching for his wrist she moved slowly. Closing his hand around hers he watched. Harley looked up, “Here?” She asked wrapping her fingers over his wrist. When he nodded she lightly stroked over them both.

“Were you tied up?” she asked quietly.

He dropped his head back to his knees. She watched as he looked up and stared into space, she had her answer. As she stood to get a blanket to put around him she heard him begin to whimper like an injured animal would when they’re hurt. Hearing that sound from him broke her heart.

“There are no ropes here baby, I promise.” She replied placing the blanket around him and he held it close.

Sitting down beside him again she wrapped her arms around him. “Do you want to try and lay down again? Shaking his head she kissed his shoulder. “I can’t seem to shake this baby.” He responded physically shaking as his mind still replayed the dream.

Pulling the blanket tighter around him she again ran her hand over his hair as she sat hugging him as he shook. “Okay we’ll stay right here.” “It’s going to take time sweetheart. But I’m here however you need me to be.”

“Harley, babe, you can go back to sleep, I’ll be okay.” He remarked. “No, uh huh, I’m right here with you.” They sat in silence and Gus felt her massaging the back of his neck as she slowly began to rock him.

Gus linked his fingers with hers and squeezed her hand for a minute then still together brought her hand to his chest and she laid it flat against his skin, he kept his hand over hers but when he felt something on her fingers he looked down.

Seeing what it was he looked over, “My ring? I thought I’d lost it.”

“No, it was found at the lake, I guess after you passed out Alan took it off and left it at the scene for someone to find. They called to tell me they’d found something and when I got there it was already bagged & tagged. “Honey, I’ll admit I broke down when I saw it; I knew you wouldn’t have taken it off and I really thought you were gone. The officers wanted to take it as evidence but I wouldn’t let them so I’ve been wearing it here as a reminder.”

Moving her hand, she removed his band and smiling she kissed it. “Even separated you gave me the strength to keep going. Every where I went I saw you. When I pushed myself to the limit trying to find you, I’d look up and there you were and you’d say, ‘I’m coming back to you, believe that.’ And hearing that would for some reason keep me calm so I wouldn’t fly apart. I Love You.” She remarked then kissed his mouth; breaking the kiss she slid the band in place on his finger. Wiping a stray tear he stared at the band back on his finger, “I never thought I’d see it again. When it wasn’t there I’d stare at the indention on my finger and wonder how I’d get back to you. I knew I’d never stop trying. That’s the one thing I focused on was getting back to my wife, my life. The ring is finally back where it belongs. It’s never coming off again.”

“Are you ready to sleep?” she asked. “I can’t.” he stated. “But I want you to rest, this isn’t fair to you. Will you do that for me? I’ll just go outside for a little while and get some air maybe that will help.” He replied.

“Sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

Gus nodded, “I want to know you are in here sleeping.” He watched as she leaned forward and kissed him. “Wake me if you need too.” She said laying back. He nodded that he would.

He sat there and watched as his beautiful wife drifted off. Once Gus knew she was asleep he carefully stood trying to avoid a lot of pressure on his right leg and limped over to where his pants lay. Picking them up, he sat on a work bench and pulled them on.

Fastening them as he walked outside he sat down on the over turned bucket, as he sat there his mind took him back inside the dream and he flinched as if he were being hit again. “Stop please!” he said.

Wiping the sweat from his face again he kept his face hidden as he tried to get his breath back.

“I can’t tell her. I know she loves me but--.” Turning he stared in the window at her as she slept, his eyes clouded with worry, “—it’s not fair to her to know what Beth did to torture me. It would hurt me to tell her, I love her so much.”

Turning away he sat still for he didn’t remember how long but just breathed and calmed down, it helped to know his girl was inside asleep. Unconsciously, he began to rub his wrists again. He knew the bruises were no longer there but the scars were and they’d always be there. “I have too many scars in my life.” He mumbled.

His leg was killing him, it wasn’t quite time to take another pill yet but it was hurting too much.

“I don’t know if I can wait.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled the bottle out and stared at it.

“I don’t need them, I’ll be okay. I don’t.” He stared at them for a long while then turned back to watch Harley for a bit. “My leg’s healing, I’m okay.” He felt the weight of the bottle in his hand as he bounced it. Taking a deep breath he stared at the bottle again.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, there’s too much pain right now.” He said wearily to himself.

Opening the bottle he warred with himself again he didn’t want to take a pill until he absolutely needed to but his leg hurt.

Taking another deep breath he got the pill out and he swallowed it as he closed his eyes.

Punching his left hand in the palm of his right as he opened his eyes, he stared at the night sky, “Damn you Beth Raines, I hate you for this, I hate you!!” he said viciously.

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To Be Continued…

[Shanna]

Chapter 5

Just a mention here… this is the chapter that talks about the wound… it will need to be discussed a little for a medical procedure that will be done-- bare with me. You’ll see the word Debride mentioned in here. (It is pronounced Debreed)

Let me know what you think
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Harley had been up for several hours, taking this time for herself until Gus woke up. As she watched him she saw his forehead crease with a frown when he moved a little. Reaching over she began to rub her thumb over the crease and he relaxed. She continued to caress his face; loosing herself in her thoughts of Gus once again. After a few minutes she smiled slightly then looked down and saw Gus silently watching her.

“Morning baby.” He replied roughly.

“How do you feel?” she wondered.

“I’m okay, just have a twinge in my leg that’s all.” He said grimacing in pain when he moved his leg. Harley saw something in his eyes so she leaned in and felt his forehead.

“Gus honey, you’re hot.”

He grinned, “Thanks for the compliment sweetheart.”

Chuckling softly she kissed his cheek, “That’s not what I meant and you know it! You have a fever baby; you need to get your leg checked out.”

“I’m fine, I’ll be okay.” He responded.

Bracing her hands loosely on both sides of his head he stared up into her eyes a little confused when he couldn’t move his head. “Harley?” “Gus, you need to let me take you to Cedars.”

“No.”

“Honey, look at me.” She asked. When he looked back at her she continued, “I need you to stay with me okay, and if we don’t get your leg checked it will get even worse than it is now. Will you---.”

Gus looked away again; touching his chin she brought his eyes back to her.

“For me?” she asked softly.

Caressing her cheek he kissed her softly when he saw her concern, “I’ll do anything for you, you know that. Okay if you’ll stay with me I’ll go.”

Getting off the bed she went to the dresser and got a soft pair of pants and came back kneeling by him as he swung his legs around.

“Since the boys are with daddy, I’ll take you to Cedars and when we’re done there we’ll go to Company okay?” He nodded as she helped him get his pants on then snapped them as he stood holding on to her shoulders. While Harley was in the bathroom putting her hair up Gus went to the closet and got a shirt and his shoes.

Once they were ready Harley wrapped her arm around his waist and helped him get to the elevator by there room at the beacon and out to the car. Taking his hand she held it as she drove to Cedars.

At Cedars…

Making there way across the parking lot he froze staring at the doors. Harley placed her hand on his shoulder, “you’ll be okay.” He looked at her, “There are people?” he whispered unsteadily. “I’m right here with you.” Squeezing his hand tightly they went in.

At the desk, she told the nurse she needed to see Dr. Rick Bauer. The nurse led them to an empty exam room and gave Gus some instructions. Rick walked in just as Gus sat back on the table. His mouth fell open when he saw the man sitting there.

“Gus?”

“Yep.” He said as Rick leaned into hug him, when he did Gus jumped. “Rick, slow down. Gus was injured and it’s bad.” Harley stated.

Rick stood back watching as Gus looked away and Harley put her arm around him. “Where were you injured?”

“My right leg.”

After putting on a pair of gloves Rick walked over and carefully began to unwrap the bandage around his leg. Both gasped when they saw the wound. “This should have been looked immediately after it happened.” Rick stated.

“My captor didn’t think it was necessary.” Gus mumbled.

Rick looked at him sympathetically. “Okay I’m going to examine the wound, its not going to be easy.” He gently touched it & Gus flinched. “I’m sorry.” Rick answered as he examined the wound when he saw the angry red streaks and its puffiness. He looked up at them, “Guys considering that the wound is warm, red streaked, puffy and still oozing I’m going to have to debride the wound. Getting a syringe of saline solution ready he came back over. “This is going to hurt but it has to be done.

He nodded as Harley wrapped her arms around him, “I’m here.” She whispered in his ear. When the doctor shot the solution in Gus bucked and gritted his teeth.

“Hell…” Gus hissed through his teeth. Letting the solution sink in Rick looked up and explained the rest of the procedure.

“Harley, I’m going to have to ask you to step out while I do the next part.” He stated giving Gus a local anesthetic near the wound.

“Can’t she stay with me?” he asked trying to hold his fear back.

“Gus, not for this part but she can stand right outside and watch through the window if it makes you feel better.” Rick replied picking up a small scalpel & scissors.

“Honey, I’ll be right out there, and come back when Rick’s finished. She said kissing him then stepping out and to the window.

He watched her the entire time as the doctor worked. “Harley, you can come back in now.” Rick called a little later.

When she walked back in she saw his leg was bleeding and anxiously looked at Rick as she stood by her husband, “Why’s his leg bleeding like that.”

“Sweetie calm down.” Rick replied dabbing the blood a bit before continuing, “I had to cut away and remove some problem tissue, I’m not hurting him, and I’m letting some healthy blood move over the wound to begin healing.”

Looking over, Rick saw the fear in his friend’s eyes, “Gus you are one very lucky man… Your wound was very close to becoming gangrenous & if that had happen I couldn’t have done anything. I’m surprised it hadn’t already done that.”

“I could have lost my leg?” he whispered.

The doctor nodded, “but we’re not letting that happen.” He buried his face in Harley’s shoulder, “I hate him!” he softly stated against her jacket. Brushing her hand through his hair she laid her cheek against the top of his head, “I know babe, I know.”

“Alright Gus, I’m going to let this bleed for another minute then wash it & put some saline to wash it out… after that I’ll put some meds on it.” Rick responded.

Harley felt him bunch her jacket with his fingers as pain radiated in his face. “Okay I’ll wash it with water now.” Doing so Gus watched as the blood was washed from his leg. “Saline’s next.” Rick stated. Harley sat behind her husband and tried to hold him still as the saline was put in. Bucking again she held him tighter. Once the antibiotic ointment was on Rick wrapped the leg again with clean bandages.

“I want you to sit here for a few minutes until that settles down a bit before you try to walk. Gus the wound was really nasty, and since it wasn’t seen immediately I am going to put you on some antibiotics for the infection as well as some painkillers while this heals. Harley I want you to watch his leg and if he has problems come back in. I’m going to go get those pills for you and be back.” Rick said leaving them alone.

“Are you alright?” Harley asked

“I’m hurting.” “The antibiotics will help.” She replied. He turned his head and nuzzled her cheek. “I love you.” He whispered.

They sat in silence until Rick walked back in carrying a glass of water, setting the water down he pulled a bottle from his pocket. He shook a pill out, “Okay Gus, this is the antibiotic; I want to get this into you first.” He replied placing the pill in his hand then gave him the water.

Setting the first bottle down he pulled a second from his pocket and shook the pill out, “This is the pain pill Gus, its pretty strong so be careful and only take them when they say okay.” Gus nodded as he was handed the pills. He read the directions for the painkillers, “O thank god they’re the same as my others!” he thought to himself as he thanked Rick and pocketed both bottles.

“The antibiotic will help and the fever you have will begin to go down as the medicine starts working on the infection, in the meantime just take it easy for a little bit.” Rick said.

Harley got down and wrapped her arm around his waist helping him stand. “Don’t forget to clean and change the bandages often.” Harley nodded as Gus leaned heavily on her as he limped out.

Once in the car, they drove across the street to Company.

Company…

He was shaking as he stood at the door, “Breathe sweetie.” She said quietly. “The family won’t hurt you.” She responded opening the door.

Buzz turned when the door opened. He smiled seeing his daughter but his mouth fell open when he saw who was with her.

He dropped the towel and began toward them. Seeing the slight shake of Harley’s head he stopped, “Daddy, he needs somewhere to sit, preferably toward the back.” Her father looked around and pointed out a booth along the back wall. She nodded and they walked over and sat down, she kissed Gus’s cheek, “Sweetheart, here let’s put your leg on the seat so you won’t have to bend it.” Carefully she helped him prop his leg up and then went around and sat on his other side.

“Can I get you anything?” Buzz questioned coming to the table. “A couple of soft drinks daddy.” Harley said. Buzz nodded, before leaving he reached over to lay a hand on his son-in-law’s shoulder but Gus shrank back into the seat before he could be touched.

Tears came to his eyes, “I’m sorry Buzz.”

He smiled, “its okay… I’ll be back with the drinks in a minute.” Buzz replied and went to the kitchen.

“I feel like an idiot baby.”

“Shhh, you aren’t, it’s going to take time Gus.” Harley responded holding his cheek against hers. “Try to relax a bit.” Just then Coop came in and immediately saw them and ran over. Neither could stop him as he gripped Gus’s hand to shake it.

“Gus your back when did you get here? where were you? What happened?” her brother asked firing questions at him.

Harley looked up, “Whoa slow down Coop.” “Sorry.” He said letting go of his hand. When he did Gus gripped her hand. Buzz came back and sat the drinks in front of them.

“Are you okay Gus?” Buzz asked noticing his leg propped up. “I got hurt at the accident and we just came from the ER.” He said slowly.

Everyone sat there talking and Gus sat listening quietly and only giving one or two syllable answers.

Later, after the dinner shift started and Buzz and Coop were working. Harley looked at her husband, “Daddy wanted to know if you wanted to stay here since the boys are here.”

Gus dropped his head on the table, “Yes and no. I feel like I can be a little safe here but the people.”

“If we stay you can do what you need to do honey I’ll be right here & the family will understand.” She replied.

He looked up, “Can we try it?”

She caressed his cheek, “Sure and if we need to go back to the Beacon with just the two of us we’ll do that.” She told him. “You’re tired let’s go upstairs for a bit so you can rest.” He nodded and she helped him up, looking over she caught her father’s eye and pointed upstairs. Buzz nodded and they headed toward the stairs.

As the started up, he squeezed her hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be Continued…

[Shanna]

Chapter 6

Slowly they walked down the hall to the room they use when they're here. Reaching the door frame Gus had to stop & lean against it. “Relax sweetheart,” she said as he stood there catching his breath “You’re almost there;” Pushing himself away they went into the room.

“Can you stand long enough for me to turn down the covers?” When he nodded she turned them down quickly then helped him sit down, before lying down she pulled off his shoes while he pulled his shirt over his head. Turning on his side she covered him up then sat beside him. “I’m going to take your temperature so we’ll know and can watch it to see if it goes up.” Standing she went into the bathroom then came back and sat down again. Placing the thermometer in his mouth Gus watched her caressing her arm until it beeped then she checked it, “100.3 babe.”

He closed his eyes, “I’m sorry baby.” He said quietly.

Putting a finger gently over his lips she shook her head, “You don’t need to apologize. Right now all I want you to do is sleep Gus, let your body start to heal okay and let the antibiotic do what it’s supposed to do.” He pulled her arm to his chest and held it tightly.

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

Going to her side she lay down then propped up on an elbow as Gus rolled to his back. She smiled down at him, “You rest okay?” she responded as she gently rubbed his chest & face in hopes that he’d relax; I love you Aitoro.” Closing his eyes at her words a tear slipped down his cheek. “Sleep sweetie. I’ll be here if you need me.” She stayed beside him until he was asleep then standing made sure he was covered before kissing his cheek then closing the door just a little went downstairs to her family.

Her family was all there waiting when she came down the stairs. Going to the counter she sat, “I need water daddy.” She replied before dropping her head into her hands. Not lifting her head until she heard her father set the water in front of her, she took a sip.

“Sis, what’s wrong with him?” Coop wondered. “I’ll answer that Coop but let me start at the beginning first okay?”

Coop, Buzz, and Marina nodded, “I found him in a sanitarium, apparently Alan left him there under guard while he came back to town, when I found him he was in bad shape so I got him out and tried to get him to go to Cedars to have his leg checked but at the time he couldn’t handle it so I got some bandages and supplies and we went to the house for the night the next day we went to our room at the Beacon and have been there until today.

When he woke up this morning I noticed he had that glassy look in his eyes and when I checked he had a fever so I managed to get him to agree to get the wound in his leg checked then we came here.” She finished.

“But that doesn’t answer ---.” Coop started to say but was interrupted, “I don’t know what happened in the cabin – he can’t and won’t tell me yet. He is still really shaky about the whole thing.”

“He was tortured.” Buzz asked yet already knowing the answer. Harley looked at her father and nodded.

“But he’s acting like he’s afraid of people sis. He’s acting like he doesn’t even belong here.”

Harley got up and went to her brother, “He’s been gone for 3 months, been away from his family – the people he loves. He doesn’t really know where he fits right now because for him time stood still but with us he knows life kept going; he needs time to re-adjust.

He is afraid, Coop, heaven only knows what he went through…Gus knows the family is safety yet still he’s afraid of us and any people that he’s around.”

“Right now he’s a man terrified of everything yet at times he’s the scared little boy that seems to be safe with me. I hope to find out what happened at the cabin but I can’t push or he’ll crack so we are all going to have to let him readjust and let him deal with all this and when he’s ready maybe he’ll be able talk about it.”

“Daddy he wants to try staying here but if he needs to I told him that the two of us could go back to the Beacon.” Harley replied “Absolutely honey.” Buzz answered.

“Whatever happened in the Cabin was awful and Alan did it. I’m following his lead right now and I suggest you all do the same… don’t push him, don’t scare him. Right now he’s upstairs asleep so I can’t leave but I need someone to go the Beacon & pack our clothes, “I’ll go sweetheart.” Buzz remarked laying the towel down.

She smiled & passed him the key, “the suitcases are in the closet along with the duffel bags.” Her father nodded and left the restaurant.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harley was sitting at a back booth reading & listening for Gus while Coop & Marina went back to work while Buzz was gone.

“Mommy?” Zach said as he came down the stairs. Hearing her name she looked up, “Yeah baby.” Zach stopped by her, “Can I talk to you?” “Sure, hop up here.” She replied “Uh-huh outside please mommy.”

Harley stared at her son for a minute, “Okay, lets go.” She remarked standing. Reaching the counter she looked over to Marina, “Can you listen…” she started to ask but Marina nodded then Harley walked outside.

“Okay Zach.” She said when they were sitting on the bench outside, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Gus.” The little boy said.

Taken back for a minute she took a deep breath, “What about him?”

“He acts scared mommy… is he?” Harley nodded, “ Yes he is baby, being gone away from us for as long as he was scared him, but he’s home now & he’ll be okay.” Zach was quiet and she knew there was something else he wanted to say, “What else cutie?”

Zach looked up at her, “I love him; does he know that?” “Yes, he knows you love him very much.” “I didn’t have anyone while he was gone. He stated. Harley sat still trying to understand when she did she replied, “You had Grandpa, Uncle Frank & Uncle Coop.”

“But they weren’t Gus. Mommy I want Gus as my daddy?” Harley closed her eyes, “You have him sweetie Gus is your stepfather.” “Do you think Gus will make me his – and be my daddy?” Zach wondered.

Harley had tears in her eyes; she finally understood, “Are you wondering if Gus will adopt you?” Zach nodded.

“You know you & he could talk about.” She answered. “You’re not angry?” Zach asked confused. “No sweetie.” “I don’t want Gus to know yet okay mommy I want him better before I say anything; please don’t tell him.

Harley heard the door open, “Harley its Gus.” Marina stated quickly.

Jumping up she took Zach inside then ran upstairs. Jogging down the hall she heard him, “No!!!!

He jerked awake & was sitting up holding his knees, “Gus, its me honey.” She touched his face softly; seeing he wasn’t quite focused she tried again, “I’m here sweetie pie.” “Harley?” he whispered placing his head on her shoulder. “Another nightmare?” she asked yet knowing the answer. Hugging her tightly they sat in silence until it was broken by the sound of knocking.

“Come in.” Gus replied.

Seeing who came in surprised him, “Hey little man.” He said as Zach came to them holding his teddy bear.

“Are you okay Gus?” Gus nodded, “Yeah I’ll be fine… matter fact I’d be better if I had a hug.” Zach held his arms up as Gus began to lift him, “Watch your leg honey.” Harley remarked as she moved away to give the guys room.

“Sweetie I’m going downstairs alright… if you feel like it come downstairs when you finish here.” Gus nodded and watched as she left.

He looked at Zach, “How about that hug.” The little boy hugged him tight. When Zach turned to look at him he leaned against his chest. “I love you Gus.” Cuddling with him, “I love you Zach very much.”

“You do?” he remarked. Yeah I do.” Gus smiled slightly.

The little boy passed him the teddy bear, “I want you to have ‘Patches’ right now.” taking it Gus waited, “But I can’t take this little man he helps you feel safe.”

Zach nodded, “I know but I want you to have him, I still have the dog that you gave me I sleep with.”

“Are you sure Zach?” Again the boy nodded. As they were hugging the realization hit Gus of why he had the bear and made him snuggle Zach closer.

“Okay little man, you go see mommy & tell her I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Gus asked. Hopping down Zach closed the door behind him as he left.

Placing the bear on the table where he could see him Gus smiled at the bear then stood. When he stood he flinched his leg was on fire. Looking at the clock he clinched his fist. Limping to the dresser he picked up the pain pills & stared at them; glancing at the clock again he breathed slowly for a minute. “I can’t…” Without a second thought he pulled the top off & took a pill.

Closing the bottle he set down, and then opening the door he headed downstairs. He stopped at the top when he saw Harley at the bottom. Hearing him she turned & smiled. Holding her hand out he smiled as he made his way down to her. Taking her hand he threaded his fingers through hers as they stood out of sight from everyone.

“I love You Mrs. Aitoro.” He replied softly as he kissed her deeply. “I love you to Mr. Aitoro.” She replied when they broke the kiss. Continuing to stare at her she waited, “He gave me his teddy bear Harley.”

“Patches?” she asked surprised, “But that’s the one---.”

Gus nodded, “--- Yeah I know that.” The conversation that she and Zach had replayed in her mind, “He really loves you.”

“Come on lets go see if I can handle this.” Gus said as they walked further into the room.

Mallet who was there with Dinah saw them and stood as they walked by; holding out his hand Gus froze for a minute then shook his hand, “Good to see ya back man… I’ll be glad to know when you get back to work.” Dinah stood & hugged him & he watched Harley who was telling him it was okay. “Harley really missed you Gus.” Dinah replied

“I really missed her too. Honey I need to sit down.” He said. Harley nodded and together they moved to the back booth. Laying her hand over his on the table he sat with his arm around her.

“Hello, son.” Looking around he saw Alan standing there. Harley gently laid her hand over his shoulder when she felt him tense up & freeze as Alan come up to their table. “You’re okay” she said softly in his ear.

“Hello Harley.” Alan responded coolly. “Alan” She didn’t realize that when Beth walked up Gus’s breathing changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To Be Continued...

[Shanna]

Chapter 7

I cant He tried to whisper on a ragged breath as he stood & all but ran out of the room. Harley watched with a mixture of hatred for the man standing in front of her and love & concern for the man who held her heart.

Seeing the exchange Buzz walked over, Your order is ready to go. No, thank you Buzz; Beth and I have decided to eat here. Alan said with a smirk.

No! Take your orders and eat elsewhere youre not welcome here. Buzz growled. Go, honey. He said softly as she stood.

Turning she stopped as a loud crash was heard above them. Running upstairs she stopped at the door when another crash was heard. Carefully she pushed the door open and saw the sources of the crashes the rocking chair was turned over & everything that was on the dresser was now on the floor, Gus was sitting in the middle of the bed with his head in his hands.

She closed the door and stood there watching him not saying anything. He knew she was there he could feel her in his heart.

Who am I? he wondered quietly.

Going to the bed she sat in front of him. You are the man I love, the man our boys love, my partner, my lover, & most importantly my best friend. Pulling his hands away she waited as he looked up, and then just stared at her-- gently running a hand over the back of her hair.

He ran his hands over his face again, I want my dad Harley; I really wish I could talk to him. Gus remarked quietly. Seeing the sadness come into her eyes at his words the knife twisted in his heart a little more seeing that he hurt her.

O sweetie, I love you more than anything but I really wish my dad was here. She gently touched his face, The sadness you see isnt for me its because I know you need your dad I just wish---. She began but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She opened the door to her father, I wanted to check on him, he replied. Stepping back so Buzz could see he walked in.

Sorry about the furniture Buzz.

He looked at his son in-law, I come from a Greek family dont worry. He stated trying to get Gus to smile but it didnt work. Seeing the bleak look in Guss eyes Buzz looked at his daughter, Sweetheart let me have a few minutes. She nodded then leaned over to reach her husband when he held his hand out. Kissing him lightly she whispered, Daddy wont hurt youI love you honey, remember that. Nodding he squeezed her hand.

Ill be outside if you need me. Then she closed the door behind her. Stepping out in the hallway she leaned against the door frame, Mr. Augustino, are you watching out for him? she slid to the floor and didnt move as she waited.

Gus sat looking up at the ceiling as he let out a deep breath then turned bleak eyes to his father in-law. I let you down Buzz. Holding up a hand to keep him from saying anymore, Whoa, who said you let me down Gus?

I can see it each time you look at me?

No, what you see is anger at what youve been through but not at you Gus. I recognize what youre dealing with my boy. You knew I was a Vietnam vet didnt you? his father-in-law asked. When he nodded Buzz continued, Let me tell you about a friend of mine. This was my best friend Jack. He and I got to know each other while we were over there in that god-forsaken place and we depended on each other. One day we were scouting around and we both got taken captive by the enemy. We both fought & defied them as far as we could without getting shot.

Wait? What do you mean defy? Gus wondered.

Part of the torture was trying to get us to pledge allegiance to the North Vietnam side but instead Jack & I would sing the Star Spangled Banner as loud as we could and the more we did it the other American captives would join us. One night a month or so after we were taken prisoner Jack tried to escape & he promised to come back for the rest of us.

What happened?

Buzz placed his hand on Guss shoulder, He did escape & got back to our unit He told the commanding officer & after coming up with a plan that took a while to complete they rescued us; but when they reached the captives Jack immediately noticed something was wrong with one of the men that he had been held captive with because he was acting the same way you are afraid of people, sound etc.

You were tortured werent you? his father-in-law stated knowingly.

Buzz saw when Gus looked down at his ring then nodded slowly, Yes. he replied as Buzz saw a single tear fall; his father-in-law put his arms around Gus and he held on to him tightly. Neither man said anything for a little while then Buzz hears, I wish my dad were here. Buzz when I need a dad can I come to you? Gus asked hesitantly.

I wish Joe were here too. Id be honored Gus, Im proud to have you as a son-in-law. Buzz answered. You take all the time you need to deal with this; well all follow your lead okay Ill be here if you need me. Buzz responded as he stood. When he reached the door Gus stopped him, What happened to the man whod been tortured?

I was sent stateside to a hospital to be close to my family & I stayed there until the doctor let me come home.

You? Gus said in amazement. Yeah, the North Vietnamese tortured me.

Does Harley & Frank know any of this?

No, they dont & Id rather they didnt shortly after I was released from the Hospital I wondered around until I remembered Deenie & then Rex Mancini came to Springfield.

Thats when Harley met you she told me about that part of her past.

Buzz nodded, Ill get Harley, you rest. Gus lay down as Harley hugged her dad then closed the door.

Going to the bed she sat down, You okay sweetie? she wondered laying a hand on his cheek.

Wrapping his hand around her wrist he held her hand in place. As she sat there watching him, he began to tremble.

Im so cold Harley. He responded with his teeth chattering. Ill get a blanket. Going to the closet she got a blanket & as she began to put it over him

Get away from me! He growled

Harley stopped, Get away from me Beth. He growled again. Honey, its Harley, focus on me, nobody will hurt you. She replied as she kept talking while she covered him with the blanket.

Finally seeing Harley again & not Beth he refused to look at her, Sorry. He mumbled.

Leaning over she kissed his temple, I love you very much. You need to sleep so the antibiotic can kick in, Ill check your leg when you wake up. Ill be downstairs if you need me. He held her in place as he claimed her lips in a kiss that steadied him.

Breaking the kiss Harley ran her fingers down his arm as Gus closed his eyes & she headed to the door. Leaving the door cracked as she closed it & headed down to see her dad.

Gus cringed as pain shot thru his leg. Looking at the clock he saw it was almost time for a pill but not quite he still had 2 hours to go. He didnt want to wait so he shook a pill out & stared at it knowing he shouldnt take it yet. Washing the pill down he closed his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To Be Continued

Copyright GusGus May / 2007

[Shanna]

Chapter 8

Harley? She turned when she heard her name & saw Gus slowly coming toward her. Hey babe, did you sleep okay? She wondered as he wrapped his arms around her. I did for a while... but the dreams he didnt finish the sentence as Buzz saw the haunted look in his eyes.

Its okay sweetie. Harley said quietly. Lets get you seated so I can check your leg. Helping him sit she propped his leg up while her dad got the bandages. Carefully cutting the bandage she removed it. The antibiotic must be helping; the area around it is not as red. Putting the ointment on she rewrapped his leg while Coop got the next dose of antibiotic for him.

Here ya go Gus. Coop replied kneeling by his chair as Gus took the medication.

Thanks can I talk to you for a second. Sure. Coop replied as he sat down. Ill take care of him sis. Coop said as they both looked up at her then watched her walk away to talk to Buzz.

Coop, I know Ive never been your favorite person where your sister is concerned but I wanted to ask you for a favor. Would you watch my back?

Coop watched him, You mean where Harley & the boys are concerned? Gus nodded. I want to make sure until Im 100% back on my feet that I have someone watching my back to help take care of them.

Theyll be taken care of Gus I promise. Coop responded shaking his hand. As he walked away he whispered, Youve proven yourself Gus.

Leaving Gus to observe in silence for a while; he didnt see when Beth & Alan walked up. Hello Gus. She said with a smirk as she stopped in front of him knowing what seeing her would do to him. Hello, son.

What do you want?

We just wanted to check on you one last time before we left. Alan stated trying not to see what their being there was doing.

Beth leaned in toward Gus; as she did all he saw were the images in those dreams.

GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!! He screamed as he tried getting to his feet.

Stumbling toward the back wall of restaurant, he kept repeating NO!! NO!!

Hearing him, Harley ran in from the kitchen with Buzz & Coop following behind.

Gus youre okay. She heard Beth say as Beth & Alan walked toward him.

Stay away. he said softly.

Harley was going to him even as Beth tried to get close to him again.

GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!! Gus screamed again when Beth came toward him.

Sliding to the floor, Gus zoned out as he repeated over and over again, Away.

Reaching him Harley brushed them aside as she knelt beside her husband. Dad will you get them out of here! she asked.

Gus? But before she could say anything more he screamed again in terror then began to whimper like a wounded animal as he slowly began to rub his wrists. Carefully bracing her hands on the wall on either side of his head she tried again, Gus, sweetheart its me Harley. Youre home, your safe no one is going to hurt you. She slowly began to touch his face. Can you hear me Gus? Its your girl--. She carefully touched his arm away from where he was rubbing & placed his hand over her heart. its Harley, Im right here beside you. She could tell she was getting to him. Slowly she leaned in & kissed his lips. Its Harley babe. I love you.

Harley? He whispered.

Im here baby. She kissed his cheek. He closed his eyes & leaned his head back against the wall. Are they gone?

Buzz crouched in front of his son-in-law, Yeah, theyre gone Gus, Coop & I escorted them out youre safe.

Gus kept rubbing his wrists as he looked down, Babe my wrists are bleeding. Harley knew they werent but followed his lead. Okay baby well take care of it. Standing she got a napkin then sat down by him. Gently taking his left wrist she held the napkin on it for a minute, and then did the same with the right.

Is that better? she wondered. He nodded as he looked at them, They are so sore.

Coop knelt, Hang on a minute Gus & Ill get you some ice. He ran to the kitchen and got 2 ice bags & came back.

Will you let me wrap them on your wrists?

He nodded without looking since hed leaned his head back. Gently Coop wrapped the ice around each wrist. There you go maybe that will help.

Thanks.

Do you want to try & go up to our room?

Gus turned his head to look at her, Can we just stay here for now?

Sure, why dont you put your head on my shoulder. She said as she moved where she could put her arm around him as he laid his head on her shoulder.

As he was getting comfortable, Buzz & Coop backed away. Buzz went back behind the counter while Coop went back & forth to the kitchen busing tables. Both Buzz & Coop were never far away & were keeping an eye on the man sitting on the floor.

Well stay here until youre ready Gus, you try to rest youre safe, Im here with you. She softly kissed his forehead as he placed his head more comfortably on her shoulder & closed his eyes even as he subconsciously began to rub the ice packs as if he were rubbing his wrists.


To Be Continued

Copyright GusGus May / 2007