Post by Shanna on Oct 3, 2015 0:27:51 GMT -5
Brett stood at the door to Nick’s room and just watched her; he didn’t want to interrupt her quite yet so he watched to see if there was a reaction from Nick as he listened
“Morning Nick.” She whispered, kissing his lips softly. “You’re okay, I’m here and I’m not going any where. You said that to me once before remember? I expect you to keep that promise now. Do you hear me?” Brett smiled at her words but continued to watch the monitors. “I know you are probably thinking I should go home and rest and take care of myself and the baby, well the baby and I, we’re fine sweetie.” He saw when the heart monitor’s rhythm steadied a bit more. Knocking quietly she looked up and smiled, “Hi Sarah, I just came by to check on him. He knows you’re here.”
“He does?” she asked. The doctor nodded, yeah I saw his heart beat steady a bit more while you were talking.” She caressed his face as she looked up at the monitors, “Which tells you when his breathing begins to stabilize?” The doctor walked to the monitor, “see this line right here?” he asked pointing to a line with his finger. She nodded, “Well this is the ventilator rhythm -- the line right under it that’s rapid and spiked is Nick’s breathing this tells me its still real shallow, when stabilized it will become more even and steadier. Whenever I see it like that I’ll take him off the ventilator and see how well he breathes on his own.” he said turning to face her.
“I’ve cleared it where only you have full access 24 hrs. Sarah but if it gets to be too much on you I’ll send you home you got that. Nick wouldn’t want you to over do it and endanger yourself or his child.” She nodded, “I got it.” “Good now visitor’s can come in for fifteen minutes every hour. She nodded as he checked his chart then walked out.
She spent time through out the day talking to him so he could hear her voice or quiet moments caressing or stroking his face so he would feel touch. It was during one of these times that she glanced up and saw Jack standing outside. Motioning him in; he opened the door
“Hey I thought I’d come check on you, him? Any change?” her brother-in-law asked quietly. She shook her head, “No but the doctor says he can hear me so I’m just sitting here talking and waiting for him to open his eyes.” Walking to her, he knelt beside, her and began to rub her arm softly. “If you need anything let me know okay” he asked. She nodded, “Where’s your mom & dad?”
“They didn’t want to come back to early, in case you were asleep so I told them I’d come back here so I could check on him.” She smiled, “Tell them that he’s still holding his own and no change & they are welcome to come back here, Dr. said 15 minutes every hour.” He nodded as he left her.
“You hear that, honey? She asked looking again at his face. “Both families are outside waiting for you to wake up. “That includes Joanie, you told her you wouldn’t leave her so she’s depending on you to still be here honey.” She caressed his face again to reassure him that she’s there and to be reassured that he’s beside her.
Later that afternoon, after she’d eaten the lunch that Joanie and Kevin brought her, she was doing some copy edit for the newspaper using her laptop and the notes that her friend and co-worker Jake had brought her. She was thankful her boss had been really great about all of this and let her keep working; so in in the quiet of the room with the clicking of the ventilator and the steady beat of the heart monitor Sarah worked until she fell asleep. As she slept she dreamed:
He stood inside the door watching as she slept. He hated to wake her but he needed to see her face. Going to her he knelt down beside her.
“Sarah, sweetheart.” He said quietly. Hearing his voice she slowly opened her eyes.
“Nick?”
“Right here baby.” He replied smiling. She didn’t say anything to him as her eyes roamed over him. “You’re okay?” he stroked her cheek, “As long as we are with each other, I am. And you know that we’re always together here.” He said placing his hand over his heart. He carefully placed his hand on her tummy, “You need to go home and rest for a while at some point honey… sleeping here isn’t going to help any.” He rubbed her back “How did you know?” she asked puzzled. He smiled, “I know every inch of you. Go home… Promise me.” She nodded, “But I can’t leave you.” “I know you’re with me, I’ll be here baby, you know that. “I love you, take care of our munchkin.” He said with a wink and then disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She came awake with a jolt as she felt a hand on her arm, “Sorry sis.” Kevin replied quietly. Looking over she felt tears as she saw Nick still on the bed. “Sarah why don’t you take a little break I’ll stay with him.” Her brother replied. She nodded, “I think I will, I’m going to the chapel then I need to go check on the boys.” He nodded as he helped her stand; walk to the bed and leaned down to kiss his lips softly, “I’m going to leave and go home for a bit sweetie but I promise I’ll be back. Kevin is here with you.”
With one last look she headed to the chapel, slipping into a pew she stared ahead at the stained glass window and the cross sitting in front of it. Silent tears slipped from her eyes as she took a deep breath.
“God, it’s about Nick… I’m not exactly sure where to begin, wait yes I do, save him please!!! I can’t live without my husband the man I love and my children can’t loose their daddy. Why is this happening to us? After all we’ve been through to be together – don’t take him from me!!! She said fiercely but quietly as the tears rested on her cheeks. This disease is slowly taking him from me, I know it!! I can’t loose him. He’s strong let him have strength to continue this fight please.” She said quietly then sat there in silence. After spending some time in the chapel she walked to the waiting room.
When Nate, Ted, Aubree, Joanie, and Greg & Jack saw her they stood, “What’s happened?” they asked. “Nothing, no change I needed a change of scenery. Matter of fact, I need to go check on the boys and get some clothes to bring back with me so I’m going to get outta here for a little bit, Kevin is sitting with Nick now, daddy.” He nodded. Aubree saw Jack’s face when she had come through the door and went to him, “Jack go with her, and we’ll be here with your brother.” She replied
“Are you sure?” She nodded and he hugged her, “Come on Sarah, I’ll take you.” “No, stay with your parents.” Sarah remarked. “Sarah, let Jack take you where you need to go.” Nate requested. Sarah nodded as she hugged Joanie, “We’ll call if there’s any change.” “Thanks.” Joanie nodded and watched as Jack placed his hand at her back and they left the hospital.
“Jack, I’m going to call Lindsay at the Bar & Grill and check on the boys while you drive, she texted me; she took them there after I left since she’d have to open for dad this morning.” she said. He looked over at her, as she made the call. “She says the boys are fine, they made pictures for daddy? I’ll have to let him know when I see him again.” Jack squeezed her hand again as she continued, “I told her to tell the boys I’ll have Greg or Uncle Kevin come by and get them for Nick.” She told him after she’d hung up.
“I’ll go by and get them Sarah, I don’t mind.” Her brother –in-law replied. She nodded, “Can you head to the house now?” she asked. He nodded.
At the house she let herself in and turned to take her jacket off when her Jack stopped her. “Do what you need to Sarah I’ll wait here for as long as you need to take so take your time.” He responded as she headed up stairs while he slid to the floor in front of the door to stay out of her way. He could tell she was about to loose it and wanted her to have the time she needed.
Upstairs, Sarah grabbed a duffel bag from the closet then went through the dresser picking out clothes for her that would be comfortable and she even got some of Nick’s clothes in case Dr. Johnson said he could wear his pajama pants once he woke plus socks for him as well. Once she had everything packed she yelled for Jack and he came up to take the bag down for her. "I'm not quite ready to leave yet, Jack." She said giving him the the bag. "Take your time." he answered watching her for a few minutes before going downstairs. Without a word she began to wonder around the bedroom, everywhere she glanced Nick’s mark was there. His bathrobe hung on the back of the bathroom door, his watch sat on the dresser and his cologne lingered in the air.
Heading downstairs she went to the kitchen even though Jack still waited at the door. She stopped in the middle of the kitchen as memories bombarded her; all she could see as she looked around were the times he kissed her there.
When he’d come up behind her while she would cook; wrapping himself around her kissing her jaw or her cheek. Or when he’d spin her into a slow dance and gently and lovingly kiss her. She smiled as she thought of all the other various times he’d come to her and just hugged her only because he wanted to hold her.
She moved out of the kitchen and into the room that Nick used. She smiled when she thought of the nights they snuggled together then her eyes landed on their wedding picture. Reaching over, she picked it up and holding it close walked to the family room. From where he was at the door Jack saw her coming and went to stand behind her. She froze and swayed; Jack held her as she went down and he sat holding her,
“We’re always together.” She whispered. “What?” her brother-in-law replied holding her closer. “I dreamed about him while I was asleep earlier and he was whole and smiling at me Jack and that’s what he said to me.” she said crying. “Oh honey.” “I’m loosing him to this disease -- the thought of him not being with me… oh god!!” Jack slowly rocked while she cried.
“He loves you so much, you guys are having a baby he wouldn’t leave that. He is so beside himself to know he’s going to be a father again.”
“But he can’t fight this paralysis; its slowly killing him, he knew it when they took him out of here.” Sarah said quietly. “He won’t give up Sarah. I know my brother, he’s a fighter… after watching him with you & the boys he loves you with everything he has in him.” She held on tighter as he let her cry out her fear and frustration at their situation.
“Sarah, you are like another sister to me, so breathe slowly before you give my niece or nephew in there the hiccups.” He stated softly against her ear.
After a little while when her sobs died down they sat in silence while Jack held her hand. “I want to get back to Nick.” she said slowly. He nodded as he stood then helped her up and after picking up the duffel bag for her he locked the door and they headed back.
At the hospital, she walked in his room with Jack following as Kevin stood, “There’s been no change sis and Dr. Johnson was here once to check on him, he said that physical wise he’s stable except for his breathing.
“Okay Kevin, Thanks.” She replied. When she stopped, they heard the double beep of the heart monitor. “He knows I’m here.” She said when the two brothers’ eyes flew to the monitors. “Sarah I set the bag inside the door on the chair for when you need it.” Jack said moving to hug her, “He won’t leave you… believe that.” He whispered in her ear. She hugged him tight, “I’m trying.”
“We’ll be in the waiting room if you need us.” Kevin stated before they left her with him. Going to him she sat down and stroked his face and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m here sweetheart.”
“Morning Nick.” She whispered, kissing his lips softly. “You’re okay, I’m here and I’m not going any where. You said that to me once before remember? I expect you to keep that promise now. Do you hear me?” Brett smiled at her words but continued to watch the monitors. “I know you are probably thinking I should go home and rest and take care of myself and the baby, well the baby and I, we’re fine sweetie.” He saw when the heart monitor’s rhythm steadied a bit more. Knocking quietly she looked up and smiled, “Hi Sarah, I just came by to check on him. He knows you’re here.”
“He does?” she asked. The doctor nodded, yeah I saw his heart beat steady a bit more while you were talking.” She caressed his face as she looked up at the monitors, “Which tells you when his breathing begins to stabilize?” The doctor walked to the monitor, “see this line right here?” he asked pointing to a line with his finger. She nodded, “Well this is the ventilator rhythm -- the line right under it that’s rapid and spiked is Nick’s breathing this tells me its still real shallow, when stabilized it will become more even and steadier. Whenever I see it like that I’ll take him off the ventilator and see how well he breathes on his own.” he said turning to face her.
“I’ve cleared it where only you have full access 24 hrs. Sarah but if it gets to be too much on you I’ll send you home you got that. Nick wouldn’t want you to over do it and endanger yourself or his child.” She nodded, “I got it.” “Good now visitor’s can come in for fifteen minutes every hour. She nodded as he checked his chart then walked out.
She spent time through out the day talking to him so he could hear her voice or quiet moments caressing or stroking his face so he would feel touch. It was during one of these times that she glanced up and saw Jack standing outside. Motioning him in; he opened the door
“Hey I thought I’d come check on you, him? Any change?” her brother-in-law asked quietly. She shook her head, “No but the doctor says he can hear me so I’m just sitting here talking and waiting for him to open his eyes.” Walking to her, he knelt beside, her and began to rub her arm softly. “If you need anything let me know okay” he asked. She nodded, “Where’s your mom & dad?”
“They didn’t want to come back to early, in case you were asleep so I told them I’d come back here so I could check on him.” She smiled, “Tell them that he’s still holding his own and no change & they are welcome to come back here, Dr. said 15 minutes every hour.” He nodded as he left her.
“You hear that, honey? She asked looking again at his face. “Both families are outside waiting for you to wake up. “That includes Joanie, you told her you wouldn’t leave her so she’s depending on you to still be here honey.” She caressed his face again to reassure him that she’s there and to be reassured that he’s beside her.
Later that afternoon, after she’d eaten the lunch that Joanie and Kevin brought her, she was doing some copy edit for the newspaper using her laptop and the notes that her friend and co-worker Jake had brought her. She was thankful her boss had been really great about all of this and let her keep working; so in in the quiet of the room with the clicking of the ventilator and the steady beat of the heart monitor Sarah worked until she fell asleep. As she slept she dreamed:
He stood inside the door watching as she slept. He hated to wake her but he needed to see her face. Going to her he knelt down beside her.
“Sarah, sweetheart.” He said quietly. Hearing his voice she slowly opened her eyes.
“Nick?”
“Right here baby.” He replied smiling. She didn’t say anything to him as her eyes roamed over him. “You’re okay?” he stroked her cheek, “As long as we are with each other, I am. And you know that we’re always together here.” He said placing his hand over his heart. He carefully placed his hand on her tummy, “You need to go home and rest for a while at some point honey… sleeping here isn’t going to help any.” He rubbed her back “How did you know?” she asked puzzled. He smiled, “I know every inch of you. Go home… Promise me.” She nodded, “But I can’t leave you.” “I know you’re with me, I’ll be here baby, you know that. “I love you, take care of our munchkin.” He said with a wink and then disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She came awake with a jolt as she felt a hand on her arm, “Sorry sis.” Kevin replied quietly. Looking over she felt tears as she saw Nick still on the bed. “Sarah why don’t you take a little break I’ll stay with him.” Her brother replied. She nodded, “I think I will, I’m going to the chapel then I need to go check on the boys.” He nodded as he helped her stand; walk to the bed and leaned down to kiss his lips softly, “I’m going to leave and go home for a bit sweetie but I promise I’ll be back. Kevin is here with you.”
With one last look she headed to the chapel, slipping into a pew she stared ahead at the stained glass window and the cross sitting in front of it. Silent tears slipped from her eyes as she took a deep breath.
“God, it’s about Nick… I’m not exactly sure where to begin, wait yes I do, save him please!!! I can’t live without my husband the man I love and my children can’t loose their daddy. Why is this happening to us? After all we’ve been through to be together – don’t take him from me!!! She said fiercely but quietly as the tears rested on her cheeks. This disease is slowly taking him from me, I know it!! I can’t loose him. He’s strong let him have strength to continue this fight please.” She said quietly then sat there in silence. After spending some time in the chapel she walked to the waiting room.
When Nate, Ted, Aubree, Joanie, and Greg & Jack saw her they stood, “What’s happened?” they asked. “Nothing, no change I needed a change of scenery. Matter of fact, I need to go check on the boys and get some clothes to bring back with me so I’m going to get outta here for a little bit, Kevin is sitting with Nick now, daddy.” He nodded. Aubree saw Jack’s face when she had come through the door and went to him, “Jack go with her, and we’ll be here with your brother.” She replied
“Are you sure?” She nodded and he hugged her, “Come on Sarah, I’ll take you.” “No, stay with your parents.” Sarah remarked. “Sarah, let Jack take you where you need to go.” Nate requested. Sarah nodded as she hugged Joanie, “We’ll call if there’s any change.” “Thanks.” Joanie nodded and watched as Jack placed his hand at her back and they left the hospital.
“Jack, I’m going to call Lindsay at the Bar & Grill and check on the boys while you drive, she texted me; she took them there after I left since she’d have to open for dad this morning.” she said. He looked over at her, as she made the call. “She says the boys are fine, they made pictures for daddy? I’ll have to let him know when I see him again.” Jack squeezed her hand again as she continued, “I told her to tell the boys I’ll have Greg or Uncle Kevin come by and get them for Nick.” She told him after she’d hung up.
“I’ll go by and get them Sarah, I don’t mind.” Her brother –in-law replied. She nodded, “Can you head to the house now?” she asked. He nodded.
At the house she let herself in and turned to take her jacket off when her Jack stopped her. “Do what you need to Sarah I’ll wait here for as long as you need to take so take your time.” He responded as she headed up stairs while he slid to the floor in front of the door to stay out of her way. He could tell she was about to loose it and wanted her to have the time she needed.
Upstairs, Sarah grabbed a duffel bag from the closet then went through the dresser picking out clothes for her that would be comfortable and she even got some of Nick’s clothes in case Dr. Johnson said he could wear his pajama pants once he woke plus socks for him as well. Once she had everything packed she yelled for Jack and he came up to take the bag down for her. "I'm not quite ready to leave yet, Jack." She said giving him the the bag. "Take your time." he answered watching her for a few minutes before going downstairs. Without a word she began to wonder around the bedroom, everywhere she glanced Nick’s mark was there. His bathrobe hung on the back of the bathroom door, his watch sat on the dresser and his cologne lingered in the air.
Heading downstairs she went to the kitchen even though Jack still waited at the door. She stopped in the middle of the kitchen as memories bombarded her; all she could see as she looked around were the times he kissed her there.
When he’d come up behind her while she would cook; wrapping himself around her kissing her jaw or her cheek. Or when he’d spin her into a slow dance and gently and lovingly kiss her. She smiled as she thought of all the other various times he’d come to her and just hugged her only because he wanted to hold her.
She moved out of the kitchen and into the room that Nick used. She smiled when she thought of the nights they snuggled together then her eyes landed on their wedding picture. Reaching over, she picked it up and holding it close walked to the family room. From where he was at the door Jack saw her coming and went to stand behind her. She froze and swayed; Jack held her as she went down and he sat holding her,
“We’re always together.” She whispered. “What?” her brother-in-law replied holding her closer. “I dreamed about him while I was asleep earlier and he was whole and smiling at me Jack and that’s what he said to me.” she said crying. “Oh honey.” “I’m loosing him to this disease -- the thought of him not being with me… oh god!!” Jack slowly rocked while she cried.
“He loves you so much, you guys are having a baby he wouldn’t leave that. He is so beside himself to know he’s going to be a father again.”
“But he can’t fight this paralysis; its slowly killing him, he knew it when they took him out of here.” Sarah said quietly. “He won’t give up Sarah. I know my brother, he’s a fighter… after watching him with you & the boys he loves you with everything he has in him.” She held on tighter as he let her cry out her fear and frustration at their situation.
“Sarah, you are like another sister to me, so breathe slowly before you give my niece or nephew in there the hiccups.” He stated softly against her ear.
After a little while when her sobs died down they sat in silence while Jack held her hand. “I want to get back to Nick.” she said slowly. He nodded as he stood then helped her up and after picking up the duffel bag for her he locked the door and they headed back.
At the hospital, she walked in his room with Jack following as Kevin stood, “There’s been no change sis and Dr. Johnson was here once to check on him, he said that physical wise he’s stable except for his breathing.
“Okay Kevin, Thanks.” She replied. When she stopped, they heard the double beep of the heart monitor. “He knows I’m here.” She said when the two brothers’ eyes flew to the monitors. “Sarah I set the bag inside the door on the chair for when you need it.” Jack said moving to hug her, “He won’t leave you… believe that.” He whispered in her ear. She hugged him tight, “I’m trying.”
“We’ll be in the waiting room if you need us.” Kevin stated before they left her with him. Going to him she sat down and stroked his face and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m here sweetheart.”