Post by Shanna on Oct 4, 2015 14:52:36 GMT -5
Both were silent when they walked through the door. Sarah pulled off her jacket and hung it up and when Nick handed her his jacket, she took it as he walked away and went to the kitchen.
Sarah just stood in the middle of the family room, did she go to him? Did she wait,knowing he needed this time alone? Knowing his moods,right now she decided to wait, she knew that he needed this time since he had been quiet on the drive home and didn’t say a word after what he said about Josh. She had glanced at him as she drove,all she saw was him staring out the window. Not doing anything but kick her shoes off she waited; she knew that, for him, it all became real tonight when he told everyone… she had seen it in his eyes when she had taken his hand.
What Sarah didn’t see, was his reaction, Nick stood at the kitchen sink staring out the window at the backyard as everything that was happening with him still bombarded him. Telling everyone tonight had made it real and he knew he wasn’t going to wake up from this bad dream. Everything he’d been suppressing since he was diagnosed this morning, the nerves, the fear, the stress of everything that’s happened to him plus the thoughts of what might, as well as how he was going to provide for his family started to overwhelm him and he began to gag so he leaned over the sink.
Sarah heard him because the next thing he knew she was behind him rubbing his back while he got sick. He wanted contact with her. Seeing him reach a hand backwards toward her; she threaded her fingers through his and he squeezed. “Nick, just hang on.” She said getting a glass and filled it with water from the refrigerator and came back to him. Finally, he stood up as his stomach muscles relaxed and took the glass of water.
“Thanks” he replied, in a scratchy whisper, before he drank the water. “Are you okay? She asked. He shook his head, “Damn!” and walked over to the laundry room door and with as much force and power as he could, he punched the door. He just stood there a minute slightly rocking after he’d punched the door. Coming back to the sink he stood beside her.
She let him steady a bit while she washed out the sink then turned when he called her name.
“We’re not going to wake up from this nightmare are we?”
“No.” she said, quietly watching him. “Hell.” He said. She went to him and caressed his cheek. Turning so he could wrap her in his hold,he kissed her softly. His mouth never left hers as he said against her lips, “I need to be with you, to hold you in my arms and know you’re mine.”
Without a word she kissed him deeply and when he moaned deep in his throat he took her hand and they went upstairs. Reaching their room, Nick kicked the door shut. As he reached for her,she moved away.
“Don’t.” he whispered.
“But my clothes honey.” She answered.
“Allow me!” He said as he kissed her softly then began to unbutton her shirt one button at a time,kissing each patch of newly exposed skin that he uncovered. “I love you” he whispered as he kissed her stomach.
Kneeling in front of her,he lowered her slacks and then watched as they pooled at her feet. He sat back just looking at her, while in his head all he could think was “Please don’t let anything go wrong with my touch please god.” Standing,carefully,he kissed her as he shed his clothes then they walked toward the bed. He picked her up, placed her on the bed then followed her down.
“Tonight is just us Nick no one else.” Sarah whispered as she held his head where he’d laid it on her shoulder. All the while thinking, “Let us just have tonight please!”He smiled then captured her mouth with his in a kiss that made her head spin. She waited -- tonight was for him and him alone. He slowly, gently ran his hands up and down her arms from shoulder to fingers. Then he ran his fingers through her hair just mesmerized, "What? she traced his bottom lip. "You know all the times we'd build a fire in the fireplace for the cold Virginia winter nights and just sit together watching it?" She nodded, "your hair reminds me of the embers of the burning fire when it's burning low." She grinned and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as she said, "I keep you warm huh?
He saw the glint in her eye and the fact she was biting her cheek as he chuckled, "You definitely do." She kissed his neck.
He felt his way down her body and dropped kisses on her collar bone, chest, stomach; he heard her breath gasp as he went lower. Seeing her eyes turn the color of emeralds, he kissed her mouth,as he placed his hand over her most intimate area and waited. He could see what he was doing to her when she took a deep breath and her heart started hammering against his chest he smiled as she began her assault on him. She knew what he was doing not only to her but for them. The longer they kissed and touched each felt the desire rise. Looking down into her eyes he made them one, kissing her lovingly.
They slowly made love… both wanting a night they could each go to when the rough days were too much. As they waited for their pulses to level and return to normal Sarah tightly shut her eyes never wanting this moment of being in his arms to end.
After some time had passed, Nick quietly, stated,in the silence,“We need to talk about things hon.” He ran his fingers through her hair. He felt her nod against his chest. “The boys have to be told.” He whispered. She nodded again; never saying anything not wanting him to see the tears.
Knowing why she wasn’t speaking, he swallowed hard, “Will you look at me?” he asked propping on an elbow. She sat up with her back to him. He reached tentatively over and with one finger; began tracing letters on her back, concentrating on his touch she realized what he was spelling. When he finished he just waited then tried again, “Baby, look at me please?”
Turning slowly Sarah looked at him and he saw her tears. Opening his arms they laid back down again. Tilting her head she looked up into his eyes as he wiped the tears away. “Sweetheart, tell me what’s going through your head?”
“I can’t.” she said softly.
“You can always… no matter how tough things get… please promise you’ll always tell me what you’re feeling no matter what, I want to be here for you.” He stated kissing her hair.
She laid a hand on his chest for a minute, even as the tears started again. She couldn’t look at him so she sat back up and he let her go. Grabbing the pajama shorts and tank from the floor where they had been thrown in haste earlier and slipping them on, Sarah sat back down. He hated to see her like this so he sat up and after pulling on some pajama pants walked around to her side and knelt in front of her.
“Sarah, what?” he asked gently placing his hands on her thighs, “Tonight was just so special for both of us.” She whispered. Parting her legs he moved between them as he leaned against the bed and pulled her to him hugging her. “It was baby, every time I’m with you is special.” He replied, feeling her lay her cheek on his hair. What he didn’t see, was her look of fear as thoughts ran in her head, “I’m scared to lose you, I’m really scared.”
After just a few minutes in silence, Nick stood and they climbed back in bed. After pulling the covers over them he kissed her with such love; he threw his arm over her hip pulling her close and they both slept. Each knowing the other was scared but not wanting to say it.
Early next morning….
Nick slid out of bed without waking Sarah, he lightly kissed her cheek and grabbed his cell phone, left the bedroom and carefully made his way downstairs to the family room. He figured he’d better tell Josh sooner rather than later. Sitting on the couch, he ran his hands through his hair. That’s how Sarah found him forty-five minutes later when she came down stairs.
“Nick what happened? She jogged around the couch concerned.
“I called Josh, to tell him my diagnosis.”
“Oh sweetheart, how did it go?” she wondered. “He was concerned, then angry at the GBS, then as he began to process, he wondered about you, the boys & said he’d be there for us in any way we might need it. He also said he’d go with me to talk with Chief Parker.” Nick grabbed desperately for her hand, “Sarah, how am I supposed to provide for my family if I can’t work.”
Sarah just stood in the middle of the family room, did she go to him? Did she wait,knowing he needed this time alone? Knowing his moods,right now she decided to wait, she knew that he needed this time since he had been quiet on the drive home and didn’t say a word after what he said about Josh. She had glanced at him as she drove,all she saw was him staring out the window. Not doing anything but kick her shoes off she waited; she knew that, for him, it all became real tonight when he told everyone… she had seen it in his eyes when she had taken his hand.
What Sarah didn’t see, was his reaction, Nick stood at the kitchen sink staring out the window at the backyard as everything that was happening with him still bombarded him. Telling everyone tonight had made it real and he knew he wasn’t going to wake up from this bad dream. Everything he’d been suppressing since he was diagnosed this morning, the nerves, the fear, the stress of everything that’s happened to him plus the thoughts of what might, as well as how he was going to provide for his family started to overwhelm him and he began to gag so he leaned over the sink.
Sarah heard him because the next thing he knew she was behind him rubbing his back while he got sick. He wanted contact with her. Seeing him reach a hand backwards toward her; she threaded her fingers through his and he squeezed. “Nick, just hang on.” She said getting a glass and filled it with water from the refrigerator and came back to him. Finally, he stood up as his stomach muscles relaxed and took the glass of water.
“Thanks” he replied, in a scratchy whisper, before he drank the water. “Are you okay? She asked. He shook his head, “Damn!” and walked over to the laundry room door and with as much force and power as he could, he punched the door. He just stood there a minute slightly rocking after he’d punched the door. Coming back to the sink he stood beside her.
She let him steady a bit while she washed out the sink then turned when he called her name.
“We’re not going to wake up from this nightmare are we?”
“No.” she said, quietly watching him. “Hell.” He said. She went to him and caressed his cheek. Turning so he could wrap her in his hold,he kissed her softly. His mouth never left hers as he said against her lips, “I need to be with you, to hold you in my arms and know you’re mine.”
Without a word she kissed him deeply and when he moaned deep in his throat he took her hand and they went upstairs. Reaching their room, Nick kicked the door shut. As he reached for her,she moved away.
“Don’t.” he whispered.
“But my clothes honey.” She answered.
“Allow me!” He said as he kissed her softly then began to unbutton her shirt one button at a time,kissing each patch of newly exposed skin that he uncovered. “I love you” he whispered as he kissed her stomach.
Kneeling in front of her,he lowered her slacks and then watched as they pooled at her feet. He sat back just looking at her, while in his head all he could think was “Please don’t let anything go wrong with my touch please god.” Standing,carefully,he kissed her as he shed his clothes then they walked toward the bed. He picked her up, placed her on the bed then followed her down.
“Tonight is just us Nick no one else.” Sarah whispered as she held his head where he’d laid it on her shoulder. All the while thinking, “Let us just have tonight please!”He smiled then captured her mouth with his in a kiss that made her head spin. She waited -- tonight was for him and him alone. He slowly, gently ran his hands up and down her arms from shoulder to fingers. Then he ran his fingers through her hair just mesmerized, "What? she traced his bottom lip. "You know all the times we'd build a fire in the fireplace for the cold Virginia winter nights and just sit together watching it?" She nodded, "your hair reminds me of the embers of the burning fire when it's burning low." She grinned and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as she said, "I keep you warm huh?
He saw the glint in her eye and the fact she was biting her cheek as he chuckled, "You definitely do." She kissed his neck.
He felt his way down her body and dropped kisses on her collar bone, chest, stomach; he heard her breath gasp as he went lower. Seeing her eyes turn the color of emeralds, he kissed her mouth,as he placed his hand over her most intimate area and waited. He could see what he was doing to her when she took a deep breath and her heart started hammering against his chest he smiled as she began her assault on him. She knew what he was doing not only to her but for them. The longer they kissed and touched each felt the desire rise. Looking down into her eyes he made them one, kissing her lovingly.
They slowly made love… both wanting a night they could each go to when the rough days were too much. As they waited for their pulses to level and return to normal Sarah tightly shut her eyes never wanting this moment of being in his arms to end.
After some time had passed, Nick quietly, stated,in the silence,“We need to talk about things hon.” He ran his fingers through her hair. He felt her nod against his chest. “The boys have to be told.” He whispered. She nodded again; never saying anything not wanting him to see the tears.
Knowing why she wasn’t speaking, he swallowed hard, “Will you look at me?” he asked propping on an elbow. She sat up with her back to him. He reached tentatively over and with one finger; began tracing letters on her back, concentrating on his touch she realized what he was spelling. When he finished he just waited then tried again, “Baby, look at me please?”
Turning slowly Sarah looked at him and he saw her tears. Opening his arms they laid back down again. Tilting her head she looked up into his eyes as he wiped the tears away. “Sweetheart, tell me what’s going through your head?”
“I can’t.” she said softly.
“You can always… no matter how tough things get… please promise you’ll always tell me what you’re feeling no matter what, I want to be here for you.” He stated kissing her hair.
She laid a hand on his chest for a minute, even as the tears started again. She couldn’t look at him so she sat back up and he let her go. Grabbing the pajama shorts and tank from the floor where they had been thrown in haste earlier and slipping them on, Sarah sat back down. He hated to see her like this so he sat up and after pulling on some pajama pants walked around to her side and knelt in front of her.
“Sarah, what?” he asked gently placing his hands on her thighs, “Tonight was just so special for both of us.” She whispered. Parting her legs he moved between them as he leaned against the bed and pulled her to him hugging her. “It was baby, every time I’m with you is special.” He replied, feeling her lay her cheek on his hair. What he didn’t see, was her look of fear as thoughts ran in her head, “I’m scared to lose you, I’m really scared.”
After just a few minutes in silence, Nick stood and they climbed back in bed. After pulling the covers over them he kissed her with such love; he threw his arm over her hip pulling her close and they both slept. Each knowing the other was scared but not wanting to say it.
Early next morning….
Nick slid out of bed without waking Sarah, he lightly kissed her cheek and grabbed his cell phone, left the bedroom and carefully made his way downstairs to the family room. He figured he’d better tell Josh sooner rather than later. Sitting on the couch, he ran his hands through his hair. That’s how Sarah found him forty-five minutes later when she came down stairs.
“Nick what happened? She jogged around the couch concerned.
“I called Josh, to tell him my diagnosis.”
“Oh sweetheart, how did it go?” she wondered. “He was concerned, then angry at the GBS, then as he began to process, he wondered about you, the boys & said he’d be there for us in any way we might need it. He also said he’d go with me to talk with Chief Parker.” Nick grabbed desperately for her hand, “Sarah, how am I supposed to provide for my family if I can’t work.”