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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 22:53:56 GMT -5
Just To Be With You
Is a story that shows how Gus and Harley face the odds together when Gus becomes sick with Guillian-Barre Syndrome
October / 2005 -- January / 2006
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 22:56:09 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 1
To my readers: this is a story about GusH’s ordeal they have to go through. The first 1 or 2 chapters will be an explanation of sorts; so to explain GusH’s circumstance as to the very 1st three sentences.
This story in the first several chapters will be mixed with smiles a bit of humor as they began to deal with the problem. It will all be GusH; but some chapters maybe more severe than others so bare with me. This will be from Harley’s point of view as she has to face this ordeal with Gus. Hope you like! ~~ GG
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“I’ve never seen him so tired before.” Harley thought to herself as she looked over at Gus who sat in a wheelchair. He had his head resting against the wall and his eyes were closed as they waited in the waiting room to see the doctor.
Turning in her chair to face him, she gently slipped an arm under his head so he could rest his neck against her arm and with the other hand caressed his face. Opening his eyes he looked at her as he sighed at her touch, “That feel good?” she asked. “Yeah, don’t stop babe.” He requested. Leaning in close to him she softly kissed him. Breaking the kiss he whispered, “I love you.”
Seeing her smile in answer he smiled back, “Will you always smile at me like that?” he wondered. She nodded as he turned to watch the TV. in the corner. Continuing to caress his face Harley became lost in thought as she remembered the last few weeks; back to when this all started.
Three weeks earlier…
“Sweetheart?” Gus called out to Harley who was in the kitchen. She came to the door, “Yeah?”
“I’m going to go out and take a walk around the neighborhood and get some air.”
Harley walked to him and stopped, “Okay just be careful you are still getting over that bacterial infection you had.” She asked as she kissed his forehead. Smiling because he knew what she was trying to do, he responded, “Yes mama.”
She looked at him sheepishly, “I’m sorry.” She said as she started to turn.
He caught her in his arms before she could turn all the way and looked at her, “Harley its ok, honey. I got a clean bill of health from the doctor last week remember—no more infection –--.”
“I know but you’ve still been really tired lately.”
“---I know that’s why I think the air will do me good. I won’t be gone long I promise and I promise I’ll be careful. Now can I give you a kiss?” he asked
She nodded happily as his lips hovered above hers before capturing her lips in a kiss. Breaking the kiss he gave her a gentle pat on the rear and with a wink walked out the door.
“That was the last thing we did that was normal.” She quietly said to herself then realized she had said it out loud. Looking around to see if anyone had heard; she saw that no one seemed too and went back to her thoughts again. What she hadn’t seen was that Gus had indeed heard her-- when he had; with a look of sadness, glanced in her direction.
“Whatever the doctor tells me this thing is; it will be too much for her to handle,” he thought to himself as he turned to watch her.
Harley thought back to the day; a few days after he’d gone for the walk – it was the day things began to go wrong.
She remembered he had just come back in from getting the mail and she had been dusting the coffee table, when he’d closed the door he just stood there going through the mail and she looked over at him to say something. When his eyes collided with hers she saw him wobble on his feet and before he could grab to steady himself his feet and legs buckled under him and he fell.
Jumping up Harley ran to him, “Honey what happened?”
“I dunno… It… I tried to take a step to balance and that’s when I realized I was falling." “Gus you didn’t move baby.” She replied. He nodded, “It was as if I couldn’t feel my feet anymore.” He stared at her with puzzled look.
“Can you feel them now?” she asked. He nodded again, “Yeah it feels like I’ve stepped on pins and needles.” “Okay lets give it a minute then I’ll help you too the couch.”
They sat as they were for just a few minutes then very carefully Harley helped Gus stand and feeling his feet beneath him they went to the couch and she helped him sit. Pulling his feet in her lap she removed his shoes then slowly pushed his socks off his feet.
She watched his reaction as she began to rub the bottom of his right foot. When he grimaced in pain she stopped. “No, don’t; it feels better but the pins and needles are still there and they’re tingling just a bit now.” He said staring at her.
After she finished with the right foot she began on the left and he told her it felt just like the right did.
“What’s going on with me honey?” Gus wondered. She shook her head. He knew she didn’t have an answer anymore than he did but he felt he needed to ask her.
“If this continues sweetie, you’re going to be checked out by a doctor.” Harley replied.
With a nod Gus swung his legs off her lap and to the floor, “I’m going to grab a shower.” He remarked as he stood. He didn’t move until he made sure he had his balance, walking past Harley he kissed her palm; she smiled. Standing behind him she put both hands at his waist and walked behind him wanting to steady him.
Gus looked over his shoulder, “What are you doing?” “I’m bracing you in case you need it.” She answered. “Baby, I’m fine.”
“Humor me will ya please?” she remarked lightly but still tried to sound annoyed.
He pulled both her hands off his waist and around to hug him from behind. “Hmmm I kinda like this position.” He said as they went up the steps, “Will you brace me like this more often?” he asked chuckling. Gus never realized when he asked her that as a joke how real that statement would become.
Once he was in the shower Harley left him and went outside, “Breathe Harley, he’s alright now.” She said to herself as she sat on the bench by the front door.
Seeing him fall like that had scared her but she knew she couldn’t tell him that. It wasn’t so much that he fell; it was the fact that he hadn’t moved at all and it was like his feet just buckled and he went down. Harley sat outside for a bit and didn’t realize Gus was with her until he put his hands on her shoulders as he sat behind her then nuzzled his face into her cheek.
“You okay?” She glanced away so he wouldn’t see her eyes, “Yeah I just wanted to come out here for a while.” She responded.
“Come on, let’s have a family dinner Harley, you, me and the boys and then after they are asleep lets just spend time together… I want to be with you.” He countered as he kissed her ear softly.
When he stood he threaded his fingers through hers as he pulled her up and together they went inside. While she was fixing Mac & cheese casserole for dinner Gus and the boys played on the floor with the boys cars and built towers. From inside the kitchen Harley smiled when she heard the diabolic giggles from the boys (Gus included) and then the crash of their towers as they came crashing down.
Once the casserole was done she placed it on the table and called the guys to the table. Zach and Jude came running in with Gus walking in slowly behind them.
“You okay?” she asked when he walked in. “Yeah, I’m fine but I think I jarred my back when I fell because it’s a little sore.”
Kissing his cheek as he sat down, she softly replied in his ear, “I’ll take care of that tonight.” He absently kissed a spot below her lip as he whispered so the boys couldn’t hear, “Naughty.”
For the rest of dinner both Gus and Harley enjoyed their family as they talked to the boys.
Once the boys were bathed and in bed Harley left their room so Gus could have his time with them, even though she knew she could’ve stayed she liked to give them time for their story, snuggle time and kiss.
Going to the bedroom tears came to her eyes as she remembered watching them one night, Gus would scoot down between the boys and read them their story. Then once the story was read he would just snuggle with the boys for a bit and talk to them until they’d drift off then he would place Jude in his bed and kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. Then going to Zach he would do the same thing. At the door Gus would watch over them until they were completely asleep and after leaving the door cracked he would come to his and Harley’s room.
As Harley waited for him now she smiled as she thought of ‘her man’ and how much he loved her and the boys. Gus walked in a few minutes later. “Sweetheart, get comfy then lay down and I’ll massage your back. He nodded as she watched him change and then lay down, “Okay tell me where?” Harley asked.
“My lower back.”
Harley slowly massaged his back until she felt the muscles begin to loosen up then she worked her way up, all the while dropping small kisses at his shoulders. When she stopped he questioned her, “I just want to look at you for a second.” She replied as he clutched at a pillow and she propped her chin on his back and then with one hand began to rub his upper arm as he lay there. For some reason unknown to her she wanted this very moment etched on her memory.
When she moved he flipped over so Harley was lying on top of him and after ridding her of clothes and kicking his pants free he began to kiss her. The more they kissed the more their desire built and they knew they had to fulfill that hunger they had. Gus slowly and lovingly moved soft open mouth kisses along her body from shoulder to hip. Taking her in his mouth he could feel her moan deep within. Gus kissed her mouth until he had to stop because they needed air. Getting the air they needed he started again as Harley scratched lightly down his jaw and neck and she heard her name.
Rolling with her again he looked down into her eyes as he saw them go dark green and with no words spoken yet knowing what each felt he with a kiss made them one. Pulling her to sit with him he lost himself in her and in their kiss.
Both lay in silence as they waited for their pulses to level and their hearts to beat normally again. Harley lay with her head on his shoulder as she quietly said “I love you.” “I love you too Coop, very much.” He watched her as she slept and as he held her close he felt the twinge in his lower back again.
“What’s wrong with me?” Gus said into the silence as he held Harley closer. After finally getting comfortable he too went to sleep.
Both never realized that his fall would change their lives.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Oct / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 22:57:37 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 2
Just starting to lay ground work--- GG
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Over the next two weeks Harley saw that Gus was having those twinges in his muscles again off and on but he wouldn’t tell her. If he did he would play down how bad they were.
The first time she’d noticed it he was stretching and he stopped suddenly almost as if he were frozen. When she went to him he was biting his bottom lip.
“Talk to me honey; where?” Harley had asked.
“Its okay babe I’ll just walk it off.” He replied as he began to walk off the cramp or try to. She watched him stiffly begin to walk. The more he walked the more she could see the pain as he bit his lip.
She grabbed him by the arm when he walked by her again. “Gus, sweetie stop, obviously walking isn’t helping so tell me where you are hurting now.” She remarked gently pushing him to the bed and watched him lay back, “Now it’s my thigh – it’s tingling badly.” He answered. Harley placed her hand on his left leg and carefully moved it until she could reach the upper part and began to massage where he said it was bothering him.
As she was rubbing his leg Gus slowly stopped biting his lip but couldn’t stop wondering what was going on with him. This had been the third attack in a week. Glancing at him Harley asked, “Is it better honey?” When he nodded, “Yeah left is better but now the right has started. It’s not as bad though.”
Harley moved over and did the right leg then she leaned down and kissed him. She needed reassurance he was going to be okay and plus when she’d looked at his mouth she’d seen he’d almost drawn blood from where he’d bitten down hard on his lip and it was beginning to bruise.
Sitting up, Gus pulled her to him, “Babe, let me hold you?” he asked.
She sat down beside him and pushing her hair behind her ear he hugged her close as he buried his face in her neck. Harley could sense he was worried, she was worried too. She didn’t want him to know she was worried more than he was so she wrapped her arms around him and gently began to rock while his head lay on her shoulder and his face stayed buried in her neck.
A few minutes later, they stood and he started to wobble like before. Steadying him Harley stood behind to balance him as they left the bedroom and went downstairs to spend time with the boys before they went to their play dates.
From that point on, Harley really started to watch him because she’d see him wobble at times but he’d catch himself and stand there until he could move again. Or he’d fall and when she found him he was sitting so still. One day she walked into the kitchen where Gus was making himself a sandwich. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched him since he was so cute. He was slicing a tomato when she saw him loose the grip on the knife and as it slipped it cut a gash on his hand starting at the lower area of his thumb down a few inches.
Looking up when he heard her gasp he stopped, “What’s wrong baby?” he asked concerned. “Look at your hand Gus.” she responded. When he did he saw the blood and grabbed a paper towel and held it against the spot as his eyes met hers.
“How?” he questioned.
“The knife slipped and it cut you.” “I didn’t feel it Harley.” He said and she could hear the worry in his voice.
“That’s it Gus, something is wrong I’m taking you to Cedars.” Harley replied. When he nodded without a fight she went to him, “we’ll find out what’s wrong and deal with it. Now can you get to the car while I go get the boys so we can drop them off at daddy’s'?”
Carefully, Harley balanced him by putting her hands at his waist and walked with him to the door. Reaching the door, he slowly made his way to the car while she went upstairs to the boys.
A few minutes later, he saw Zach come running out of the house followed by Jude and Harley carrying their bags; he knew she would’ve packed. Once in the car, Zach asked, “Gus?”
“Yeah little man?” “You’ll be okay right?” the little boy asked. Gus pulled the mirror down so he could see Zach, “Yeah I’ll be fine – just gonna get me checked out to make sure I’m okay.”
“Good.” His little voice said as he kicked his feet again, but he continued to watch the back of Gus’s head. Reaching Company Harley looked at Gus, “I’ll be back.” Nodding he felt two little arms reach around his neck as Zach stood on his knees in the backseat. “I love you, I love you.” The little boy said as he hugged him and kissed his cheek. He closed his eyes as he put his hands over Zach’s arms, “I love you too, help Grandpa with Jude and be good, I’ll talk to you soon little man.”
He watched Zach run up the walk and into Company where Harley was explaining things to Buzz. Seeing Harley come out the door followed by her father he tried to give a small smile. Her father stopped at Gus’s side and squatted down so he could see Gus through the window.
“You okay?” his father-in-law asked him, “I don’t know.” Gus answered honestly.
“Well, you got Harley on your side and you and her together are two of the most stubborn people I know; you’ll be fine.” Gus couldn’t help but smile at her father. Buzz leaned in closer and whispered something else to Gus. He looked up slowly to see if Buzz was serious. Her dad laid a hand over his shoulder and nodded.
Buzz looked over at his daughter, “I’ll watch the boys as long as you need me to baby.” He replied as Harley slid in beside Gus. “Thanks daddy, I’ll let you know anything as soon as we know something ok?”
Buzz nodded again and stood as he watched them drive out of the parking lot. Not really knowing what was going to be found he said a prayer for Gus and his health as he walked back in.
Once at Cedars, Harley quietly helped Gus from the car. After she closed the door she stayed facing away from him, “Sweetheart look at me?” he asked softly.
When she refused he gently took her by the arm and turned her to face him. When he stood balanced against her he pushed hair behind her ears and looked into her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her.
He had seen her eyes, so when he hugged her close and lovingly ran his hands over her back he quietly replied, “I know you’re scared honey but I’ll be ok. Trying to hide the jolt that he felt after he ran his hands over her back again he pulled back to look at her
Watching silently he lovingly kissed her then when she deepened the kiss for just a minute he let himself sink into their kiss.
Breaking the kiss she stepped behind him to help balance him in case he started to wobble and they began slowly making their way to the doors.
“Beautiful, you’re my girl you know that right?” He asked.
“Yeah I do, just like you’re my guy. She answered with a smile; he could hear the smile in her voice as they walked into the hospital.
“We need to see Dr. Rick Bauer.” Harley said. A nurse nodded and went to call Rick while another nurse brought over a wheelchair.
“You need to sit down sir.” She requested as Gus sat down. “Harley?”
“I’m here babe.” She responded as she moved behind the chair and he leaned his head against her stomach while they waited for Rick.
“I’m here Harley, what’s going on?” Rick asked walking up to them. He saw Gus’s face and Rick looked back to Harley
“Something’s wrong with him Rick.” Was all she said as she ran her fingers lovingly through his hair?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Oct / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 22:58:55 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 3
“Okay Gus let’s get you checked out.” Rick replied as Harley pushed the wheelchair into the exam room behind him.”
Rick went to a nearby drawer and pulled out a hospital gown and held it out, “You need to change into one of these then will check and see what’s going on.”
“Ahh Rick I hate those things.” Gus replied looking at the gown with disgust as he tried to grab it but it fell to the floor.
Harley saw concern flash in Rick’s eyes but he didn’t say anything for a minute then looking at Gus he said, “I’ll be outside while you change.” Then he walked out the door.
“Okay hon, can you get undressed or do you need my help?” Harley asked.
“I may need your help so just hang on,” he replied as he took his shirt off. After his shirt was off and with a disgusted look at the gown he asked her to hand it to him. Once he had it on she went behind him and tied the gown closed in the two places then gently pressed a kiss to his back on a portion of his tattoo that she could see where the gown wasn’t closed.
Facing him again he looked at her, “I can’t balance enough to get the pants Coop,” he responded. She leaned over and undid his jeans for him. When they were face to face after she undid the jeans she kissed him hard, “Too bad we’re in the hospital honey.” He responds kissing her back.
With a quiet laugh meant for him alone. Harley smiles, “Okay hold on to me as you stand and just let the jeans fall Gus.” He nods as she makes sure the brakes are on the chair before he tries to stand. Helping him stand the jeans fall to the floor then he sits back down.
Kneeling Harley pulls the jeans the rest of the way off and then gets his socks and then lays them with his shirt. Pushing him to the bed he wants to try and get on without help so very slowly with her help he does and then pulls the blanket over him.
“You rest while I go get Rick okay.” He nods and as she walks around the bed he softly replies, “Sorry baby.” With a stern look she stops him then goes to get Rick.
A few minutes later they walk back in and Gus begins to tell Rick what’s been going on. They explain about his loss of balance, his falls, the sensations of tingling and pins and needles. Rick listened and made notes and then after studying them he tested the reflexes. When the tap on Gus’s knee didn’t cause a reflex kick Rick stared at him, “Gus we need to run some tests. Because I’d like to run tests I’d like to call in a consult so he can help rule things out for ya okay.” They both nodded as he said, “You just rest and let me get on that consult and I’ll be back in a bit.”
Without a word Rick disappears; leaving Harley to worry even more than she already is.
“Stay here.” Gus asks. “Not going anywhere cutie.” Harley answers as she stands by his side gently stroking his hair.
Later, Rick walks back in with a man of medium build and brown hair behind him, “Guys this is Dr. Johnson, the consult I was talking with. Dr. Johnson this is Gus and Harley Aitoro.”
“It's nice to meet you both. Dr. Bauer was explaining your symptoms Gus, do you mind if I examine you?”
“No.” Gus replies. Dr. Johnson looks over at Harley, “Mrs. Aitoro would you mind stepping out for a few minutes.” He asked. She looks shocked but agrees. “Can’t sh---.” Gus states but she shakes her head, “I’ll be right outside baby, I’ll come back when he’s finished.” She responds kissing him then walks out.
Dr. Johnson began his exam, “Gus can you tell me about the symptoms? Have they been random, one side, both and what are they feeling like?”
Gus thought for a second, “Well the first time it happened I was standing still and I felt like I was about to fall but when I started to take a step it was like I couldn’t feel my feet. Once I was on the floor it felt like I was stepping on pins and needles with both feet. It went away after a little bit and I was okay but several days later I noticed my legs were hurting and they hurt for several days like the pain was moving up.”
“Did you tell your wife about anything?” the doctor asked. “Yeah my back had been hurting a bit from I guess where I fell so she rubbed it for me.
“Where?”
Gus ran a hand along his lower back. “For the last few days I’ve almost lost my balance several times but caught myself then my thigh began cramping and tingling---.”
“Just one?” Johnson asked. “Well the left mainly but then the right started. What brought us in today was I was making a sandwich earlier and the knife slipped and I cut my hand but Dr. Johnson I didn’t feel when the knife cut me. Rick I didn’t tell you earlier because Harley was here and didn’t want to scare her but before we came in the hospital I hugged her and I couldn’t feel her back with my hand.”
Dr. Johnson asked a few more questions then did the reflex test again. He then told Rick that Harley could come back in so Rick went to get her.
He found her staring at the door and slightly rocking, “Harley, you can come back in now.” She jumped up then looked at Rick. “Before I go in, Rick what is Dr. Johnson’s specialty?”
He looked through the window at Gus, “Harley he specializes in neurology.” He answered then led her back in. She went straight to Gus when he reached for her even as he continued answering questions.
“Have you been sick lately Mr. Aitoro?” the doctor asked. Gus nodded, “Several weeks ago I had a bacterial infection; but that cleared up.”
“Okay, I want to admit you tonight so we can run tests and see what’s wrong.” He requested. Both Gus and Harley nodded as Rick went to admit Gus himself.
After Gus was checked in and on his way to a room Dr. Johnson stood by Rick, “I’ll be glad to take his case Rick, once he’s settled I’ll start running tests--.”
Rick interrupted, “Blood and urine tests?” “For starters, I’ll see what they tell me first then I’ll run the other if I have too.” With a nod Rick went to Gus’s room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Oct / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 23:00:19 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 4
Hey guys... Chapter 5 will come soon but not before I can work on a chapter of this story, so bare with me. Because of this story content a "kleenex" warning will be on certain chapters. ~~ GG
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Walking into Gus’s room Rick stopped quickly when he saw the kiss and stepped back out. He’d let them have a minute before he went in. Waiting a minute longer he knocked on the door frame to warn them and then went in.
“Hi guys.” He said as he walked in. “Gus, I need to let you know that Dr. Johnson will be taking over your case so he’ll be your primary doctor for now. I’ll still consult but he knows more about the symptoms than I do.” He finished as Gus nodded.
“He did ask me to put you on a heart monitor so that’s what I’m going to do okay?”
“Heart monitor why?” Harley asked even as her eyes got big.
“Relax sweetie.” Rick replied calmly. “Dr. Johnson just wants to make sure that whatever is causing these spells with Gus, isn’t affecting his heart.” Rick reassured her as he placed two small round electrodes on Gus’s chest then clipped something over his left finger to monitor the pulse. Turning, Rick turned on the main monitor and the sound of Gus’s heart could be heard.
Just then Dr. Johnson walked in with a lab tech behind him, “Dr. Bauer get you all set Gus?” he asked. When Gus nodded he continued, “There is a set of preliminary tests I want to run now and that is a why the lab tech is here to take some blood ok?” As the lab tech took blood he told them about the second test. Once the blood samples were in the doctor’s hands, the tech left and Rick and Dr. Johnson stepped out in the hall.
Harley closed the door and then pulled the curtain around the bed. Then she stood on the other side of the curtain until he was done.
Outside in the hall, Rick begins to talk to Dr. Johnson in a low voice, “Brett, there is something you need to know about Gus and his wife, they love each other very much and if what he has is what we think then you’ll see how unified they are as a couple; but I know them and Harley is scared about this whole thing and about loosing him and even though Gus tries to hide it he’s scared too for the same reasons. Even though he is the patient you might as well get the idea that she is too because she needs him as he needs her and he won’t hide things from her, so when you talk to him talk to her too. If you should need her to leave explain why.”
Brett nodded, “Are they that tight?” Rick answered, “You’ll see.”
“Dr. Johnson, Rick, he’s done.” Harley replied opening the door. The men followed her inside. “Okay Gus, Harley, let me take these to be tested and see what we see…I’m not going to lie if there is anything specific I see Gus that I think you have I’m going to run a another test and the test for your symptoms is a spinal tap.
Gus reached for Harley even as she took his hand. “What do you think I have?” he asked. “Can’t be certain right now plus I’d rather not say until I look over these two tests here. So for now just rest and the tap won’t happen unless I need it to tell me more. I’ll be back when I know more.” Dr. Johnson stated as he walked out.
“I’ll check on you guys later okay.” Rick replied. “Harley his clothes are here.” He said pointing to the chair by the door as he walked out.
“Harley, Dr. Johnson is a neurologist.” Gus said quietly.
“I know baby, Rick told me.” She replied as she sat beside him and threaded her fingers through his. When he felt her fingers she saw relief in his eyes and she remembered the jolt he had tried to hide out in the parking lot. “Gus, can I ask you something?” He nodded and she continued, “Why did you jolt and pull away while we were in the parking lot?”
He looked in her eyes, “Because when I ran my hands down your back the second time I couldn’t feel your back as I touched you.” He responded softly. “Oh honey, can you feel my touch now?” She asked squeezing his hand. “Yeah, now I can.”
“Coop, I’ll be fine.” Gus stated. She smiled slowly as she ran her hands through his hair; something was definitely wrong and it scared her more than Gus realized; that neither of them knew what this was.
Reaching for the phone by the bed Harley looked at him, “Baby I’m going to call daddy and let him know what’s going on.” Watching her as she dialed he couldn’t help but just stare as she talked to buzz.
“Sweetheart, Dad wants to talk to you.” She responded passing him the phone. “Yeah Buzz?” “ Hey Gus just wanted to let you know that the boys will be fine and you just concentrate on you and my daughter okay… oh Zach asked me, if I talked to you, to tell you he loves you.” Gus slowly closed his eyes, “Tell both the boys I love them very much.” He said passing the phone back to Harley.
When she hung up he said on a whisper, “What if this is something I can’t fight baby? I can’t leave my girl or my boys.”
“Shhh Gus, we’ll fight whatever it is together.” Harley whispers quietly as she caresses his cheek. Seeing her when he opens his eyes again he reaches a hand up to lay against her face, “How did this heartbroken, angry man get so lucky to end up with a woman like you?”
“Fate, Aitoro. It was fate.” She responded as he laughed but she saw him shiver. “Are you cold baby?” “Yeah, just a bit.” He told her. She stood and pulled the covers up around him. Moving to where his clothes were she grabbed his socks and came back to the end of the bed. Pulling the covers up from the bottom she uncovered his feet and he smiled watching her. Carefully she put his socks on then covered his feet again.
“Thanks beautiful.” Harley wanted to hear him laugh so she carefully pulled the covers up so she could see his legs, “Anytime handsome anytime.” He chucked as she covered him back up and leaned over to kiss him.
“Hmmmm, Gus, Harley.” Dr. Johnson said as he walked in. When they looked up Harley’s eyes went to the doctor’s, “The tests are back?”
Nodding he slid a stool over to the bed and sat down.
“Give it to us straight doctor.” Gus replied when he saw the doctor’s face, “You need to do the spinal tap?” he asked.
“Yes I do Gus, I have the results back from the first two test and it shows that you have a high level of protein in your system, which based on the symptoms you have is not a good sign.—-.”
“What does he have Dr. Johnson?” Harley interrupted.
“Well based on the results of the exams that Dr. Bauer and I did and looking over the symptoms that Gus told me he’s had – the falling, the loss of balance, cramps in thighs, tingling and pins & needles sensations, the sense of touch disturbances etc. He may have what’s called Guillain-Barré Syndrome or (GBS) for short; however I can’t tell for certain without the spinal tap, so Gus if you can handle another test I’ll like to get it done.” He finished.
“Can Harley come with me?” he asked.
Dr. Johnson looked at them for a minute, “I’d rather not Gus let’s try it first and if I see you’re having a hard time relaxing even with what we have to give you for the test I’ll come get her deal?”
They both nodded as Harley leaned over to kiss him, “I’ll be waiting right here when you come back.” When she tried to stand he pulled her back to him and kissed her again, “I love you Coop.” Running a finger over his lips she stood and the orderlies wheeled him out of the room, “Harley the test will take about 30-45 minutes after that I’ll come back with him and explain.” Dr. Johnson replied as he walked out leaving her there to wait.
Once the door shut she slid to the floor where the bed had been and leaned her head back. Even though she’d been fighting tears she let them go she couldn’t hold them in any longer.
“No…No… Don’t let me loose him, god don’t let me loose him please!! She begged. We’ll fight whatever illness this is together; just don’t let me loose him.” She repeated over and over as the tears fell.
A little bit later, when someone called her name; she looked up, it was the doctor and he was bringing Gus back. Jumping to her feet she moved out of the way so the orderlies could put the bed back in place; after doing so they left.
Glancing over she saw that Gus was asleep so she looked at the doctor and he pulled the stool over and sat in front of her.
“Harley, let me explain the test we just ran on him.” He replied as he watched her look at Gus.
“He’s asleep, he’s okay.” When she looked back at him he continued, “With this test we removed a little fluid from around the spinal column. I gave him a local anesthetic then inserted a needle into the spinal column and drew out some fluid. I’ll have this tested and tomorrow I’ll have the results. I want you both to come in my office here at the hospital tomorrow about 11:00 and we’ll talk about all this okay? Ask Dr. Bauer where my office is and he’ll show you.”
“Dr. Johnson? Why is he asleep?” she wondered. “He’s in a twilight sleep, he was having a hard time relaxing while we were trying to give the anesthetic and when I was about to come get you he asked me not too so I changed and gave him an anesthetic with a very mild sedative.”
“Did he finally calm down?”
The doctor nodded, “Yes, he started rubbing his wedding band as the medicine took effect and he relaxed. His back will be sore as the medicine wares off and he may complain of a headache; if he does notify the nurses’ station and they’ll bring him the medicine I’ll prescribe for him. It’s best for him to sleep right now, if you need something let me know.” He said and with a goodnight he left.
Harley sat by Gus holding his hand and listening to his heartbeat that’s how Rick found her a little later when he stopped by.
“Harley?” Rick said quietly walking in. “How is he?” “He’s asleep now.” She replied. “Did Dr. Johnson need to do the spinal tap?” he questioned. “Yeah, that’s the last test he ran tonight. He’ll check the results tomorrow morning before Gus and I meet in his office at 11:00. Can you come by in the morning and show me where the office is?” Rick nodded, “You get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning,” After kissing her cheek he left her.
Sitting back in the recliner she took Gus’s hand in hers and stroked the back with her thumb while she watched him sleep.
“Coop?” Gus tried to say even though his mouth felt like a cotton ball.
Hearing him, Harley leaned over, “I’m here baby, I’m here.” She responded kissing his cheek. Turning his head he saw her, “Are you hurting?” Shaking his head he cleared his throat, “Just sleepy. Come sleep here?” he asked trying to pat the spot next to him.
Standing she slipped in next to him knowing he couldn’t fall with him between the rail and her.
“Better?” she wondered as she got comfy laying her head by his. “Yeah I need my girl with me.” He said drifting off.
“I’m here sweetheart, just sleep.” Harley whispered kissing his lips softly. With a smile Gus linked his left hand through hers and both slept as their rings could be seen side by side.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Oct / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 23:02:34 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 5
To my readers: I want this story to be as real as possible so in this chapter based on the research I did; Guillian-Barre Syndrome will be explained to Gus and Harley so please bare with me. In the explanation you can also see how it will affect Gus. Starting with this chapter, will begin “the family dynamic” of how they deal with this disease. (There will be more than 1 family dynamic explored)
Some chapters will be filled with GusH humor others will not. This chapter will include the 1st half of Chapter 1 (the doctor’s office.) – GG all though I don't see it ya'll might so ... ** Kleenex warning possible**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sweetheart?” Gus asked groggily as he woke the next morning. “Right here.” She replied as he turned his head and saw her in the recliner. “What are you doing over there?” “Well, I went to the bathroom then when I came back I saw you were sleeping soundly and I didn’t want to wake you until I had too.
“How are you this morning?” Harley wondered.
“My back’s sore and I have a little headache plus I’m tired.” He answered slowly. Moving closer to the bed she put her hand in his, “Your back is sore from where the spinal tap was done and the doctor said you may have a headache, you can have something for it.” Gus nodded and she turned and pressed the call button and let the nurses know.
A few minutes later, instead of a nurse walking in, Rick walked in carrying a tray that had a plate of toast and some juice and water and the medicine on it. When Gus saw him a strange look crossed his face, “You’re my nurse?” he asked with a hint of a smile. “Not a chance pal.” Rick said placing the toast in front of him. “You need to eat this before you take the pill so it won’t be on an empty stomach.” Rick stated. “I’ll give you the pill when you’re done.”
Gus slowly began to eat as Rick propped against the small dresser and talked to them.
“What are you doing here Rick?”
“You and Harley have a meeting with Dr. Johnson at 11:00 in his office here at the hospital and I’m going to show you.” He told Gus.
“We do?” Harley nodded, “He told me last night after he brought you back, he’ll go over the results and give us the diagnosis and explain.” She replied.
Once the toast had been eaten Rick passed him the pill and he took it. “Okay Gus let the medicine help and I’ll be back in a half hour to help take you down.” He replied. Harley nodded and he left.
He pushed his hands through her hair and pulled her close and captured her mouth with his in a kiss. Breaking it he winked at her, I needed my good morning kiss.” He told her. She kissed him lightly again, “I did too; rest honey, since you’re tired.”
A half an hour later Rick came back, “Can you help me.” Gus asked. “Sure,” “I want to see if I can walk to the bathroom.” Carefully Rick helped him stand and once he had his balance Gus slowly made his way in then shut the door.
When he opened the door and walked out he sat in the wheelchair Rick had waiting. So now I can get dressed right?” he asked. “Not yet Gus, Dr. Johnson may want to check something so you’ll have to stay in the gown until he says okay.” Rick replied.
“Ahh, you mean I have to go through the halls like this?” Gus mumbled.
“Sweetie I’ll cover you with a blanket okay.” Harley stated as she took the blanket and covered him up pulling the edges around his shoulders. Rick moved so Harley could push him. Before she did she kissed his shoulder then followed Rick down the halls.
Once they were there, Rick signed him in then with a wave left them to wait since it was only 10:15. Finding a seat Harley sat down and watched Gus close his eyes and lean his head against the wall. “I’ve never seen him so tired before.” Harley thought to herself as she looked over at Gus sitting in the wheelchair. She just wanted to watch him while he had his head resting against the wall and his eyes were closed. There was nothing to do but wait in the waiting room to see the doctor.
Turning in her chair to face him she gently slipped an arm under his head so he could rest his neck against her arm and with the other hand caressed his face. Opening his eyes he looked at her as he sighed at her touch, “That feel good?” she asked. “Yeah, don’t stop babe.” He requested. Leaning in close to him she softly kissed him. Breaking the kiss he whispered, “I love you.”
Seeing her smile in answer he smiled back, “Will you always smile at me like that?” he wondered. She nodded as he turned to watch the TV. in the corner.
Gus turned his head when he thought he heard her say something that sounded like “normal” Not wanting her to catch him watching her yet he turned back to the tv just as he saw her look around. When he looked back at her again he saw she was lost in thought; he couldn’t help but think of what she’d said as sadness came into his eyes.
“Whatever the doctor tells me this thing is; it will be too much for her to handle,” he thought to himself as he turned to watch her.
He reached for her hand and when he did she saw the frustration and fear in his eyes, “I can’t---.” He had to stop; it bothered him that he couldn’t feel her touch. Seeing his eyes she reached for his face again. “Baby its okay.” She replied just as the nurse called his name. Pushing the chair they followed the nurse back to Dr. Johnson’s office where he met them at the door.
“Come on in.” he replied as they followed him in. Once they were sitting, he continued, “I’ll get right too it Gus, I looked at the results from the spinal tap which confirmed what I was looking for… you have more protein than normal and you have some neurological disease; based on those symptoms it confirmed to me you do have Guillian-Barre Syndrome (GBS.)” The doctor told them.
Harley closed her eyes and pressed on the bridge of her nose to stop the tears, “How and what is it?” she asked softly; not succeeding to hide the tears.
Dr. Johnson came around to sit on the corner of his desk, “First, GBS is a rare inflammation of the nerves, caused by the patient's body producing antibodies against the peripheral nerves. No one knows how exactly people can get this disease. With normal circumstances, the body's immune system when sick recognizes the body and leaves it alone and ignores it, attacking only introduced particles and invading organisms.
However, this mechanism can be disrupted, and with GBS the body begins to attack itself. A disease that causes this effect/reaction is called auto-immune. In autoimmune conditions, the body's immune system mistakenly turns against itself, attacking its own tissues.”
“My guess is the bacterial infection you had Gus, for lack of a better word trip a switch in your body and that’s when GBS started. Now Harley, what happens with GBS is that when the inflammation occurs it damages parts of the nerve cell which causes the symptoms that Gus has had—the muscles being weak, paralysis and the sensory problems which is why he didn’t feel when the knife cut his hand. Now what happens with this damage usually means the nerve has lost the protective covering around the nerve or the myelin. When the myelin has damage or been lost it slows the conduction of impulses through the nerve. That’s why Gus has been falling or has the tingling or pins & needles sensations. Or for a simpler explanation the impulses are hindered going through the nerves to the muscles.
“Gus you have a mixture of symptoms, the nerves dealing with muscles has been more affected than your sensory nerves. They were affected too but not as badly that’s why your sensation of touch comes and goes.”
“So I won’t be able to walk?” Gus asked in disbelief.
“Right now it’s not bad because you are still in the early stages but as the disease progresses the pain will be worse and the paralysis will get worse before recovery begins.” Dr. Johnson said. Gus looked over at Harley, “I’m so sorry honey.” He said quietly. She looked at Dr. Johnson and with a nod he slipped out of his office so they could have a few minutes.
Slipping out of her chair to kneel beside him she rubbed his arm, “There is nothing for you to be sorry about handsome, and we’ll get through this together.” She answered calmly even though her stomach had millions of butterflies fluttering around. “But this will get worse Harley. I won’t be the same man---.” Gus tried to tell her but she placed a finger over his lips to quiet him. “You are Gus, you will be here.” She said laying a hand over his heart – “that’s what matters.”
They sat in silence watching each other for a minute and she saw the tear whether it was from sadness or anger, it slipped down his cheek. Wiping it away with her thumb she lightly kissed him, “We are strong we’ll get through this.” She whispered as she laid her forehead against his.
“But you can’t deal with this alone honey.” Gus responded. “Sweetie, I won’t be alone and neither will you--- the family will help.” She said knowing she had to be strong for him because this would be hard on him.
Again, wiping a wayward tear off his cheek Harley stood by him as Dr. Johnson came back in and sat on the corner of the desk.
“Gus, Harley, I know this is all hard to take in but as your doctor I won’t say this disease will be easy because there are times that it won’t be, it depends on how this affects Gus. I will say that people with GBS do recover it just takes time and since we’ve caught this as soon as we have we can monitor you and it may cause the recovery to happen more quickly then normal.”
Dr. Johnson talked to them a little more about it and what to expect then gave them pamphlets to read. After Rick came to take Gus back to the room Harley asked if she could speak to the doctor.
“Sweetie, come with me.” Gus asked. “I’ll be there in just a minute I promise.” She said kissing his cheek, “Go with Rick.” He nodded as they both watched Rick push him from the room.
“Harley what can I help you understand?” Dr. Johnson asked.
“Well you said there would be pain and paralysis?”
“Yes, as with each GBS case I’ve seen the patient reacts differently, there will be pain, sometimes it’ll be severe sometimes it won’t. As for paralysis yes there will be---.” He stopped, seeing she was trying to figure out how to ask him something.
“What about now?” she wondered.
He understood, “For now let him continue how he’s been that way he still has use of the muscles. Right now he doesn’t require hospital care and he may not until the recovery stage.” “How do I help him with the pain Dr. Johnson?” He smiled, “I’ll tell you what I tell my other patients that don’t require immediate hospitalization— be creative.” She smiled.
“Harley his sensory nerves will mostly likely stay the same, it will be the motor nerves that will be worse for him.” “I know and that’s what’s going to be so hard to see; Gus is an active man, he is a detective doctor. Plus he’s a father to two boys. Dr. Johnson gave her a sad smile. “Encourage him to do what he’s always done.” He said simply.
“What about stairs?”
“When it begins to get harder for him on the stairs let me know and I’ll arrange a hospital bed and a wheelchair – to be brought in for him. Harley this won’t be easy for you, watching him go through this.”
“I know.” She responded.
“If you or any of the family has questions let me know…. If it’s okay I’ll stop over every few weeks and check on him okay. If I see he needs medication we’ll discuss it. I do want you to watch for signs of difficulty in his breathing… if he does call me immediately.” He asked. She nodded.
“Both of you just read the pamphlets I gave you and for now just help him with what he’s having problems with; he’s free to go.”
She nodded and shook the doctor’s hand and left the office, going back to Gus’s room.
Reaching the room, she found him dressed; sitting in the wheelchair talking to Rick who was leaning against the bed.
“Rick can you spring him from here?” she asked. “Definitely; I’ll go handle that now.” He said as he walked by her. When he did he stopped and looked at her
“He wants to talk to your family tonight about all this and he’s asked that I be there.” Rick said. “Absolutely, you’re Jude’s father.” Harley replied.
Rick looked back at him, “I’ll be there at 7:00 Gus.” Gus nodded as he reached for Harley. “You okay?” he asked when they were alone.
She nodded as he reached to kiss her. Breaking the kiss, she answered, “I just wanted to talk to the doctor for a minute about some things.” She said. “Will you tell me?” She placed her arms around his neck, “I will baby, just not right now okay.”
Resting his hands lightly at her arms he nodded, “Are you still my girl?”
“You know I am always.” She answered as she pushed him out of the hospital and to the car to head home.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Nov / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 2, 2005 23:04:15 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 6
Okay guys as I said at the beginning of chapter 5 there will be another family dynamic explored throughout this story in places so I hope you enjoy it; that being said let me make a few more mentions here:
I am taking parts of a current storyline and adding it in. Phillip is dead; Alan is behind bars for his murder. Alex will know about the illness but won’t tell Alan too much. You will see 1 relationship in this chapter that will begin and another relationship later on.
Gus and Harley are at home He is resting on the couch while Harley is talking to her dad about getting the family together for the meeting. ~ GG
*Okay starting now just assume that the chapters will have a kleenex warning, so I don't have to put one on chapters.*
Also this will be the last chapter I will put up for a few days so I can continue to get ahead with this story. I will put Chap 7 up in a few days.
All I can say at this point is I know how the story will end and he will not die but I can't promise about the tears! This is your one chance if ya'll want to throw something... throw it now
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“Daddy, will you call Frank and tell him that we are having a family meeting tonight at Company and Gus and I need him and Marina there.” She asked as she walked back and forth behind the couch while Gus watched.
“Baby somebody is at the door.” Gus whispered and she nodded, “Listen dad somebody is at the door I gotta go, yeah kiss the boys for us… Bye.” She replied hanging up. She watched as he sat up carefully then she opened the door.
Both were surprised at who stood there but Gus waved her in, Harley shut the door behind her. “Lizzie what are you doing here sweetie?” Harley wondered.
“Well, I um… I needed to see…” She felt stupid so she quit. “Lizzie who did you need to see, probably Gus right?” Harley asked looking at him.
“Why did you want to see me?” Gus responded but there was something in her eyes he saw that was sad almost lost so he waited.
“Can I talk to you?” He nodded as she moved to sit by him on the couch. “I’ll finish the calls upstairs honey.” Harley replied as they both watched her go up the stairs.
“Gus, can I apologize first? I’m really sorry about what grand-dad put you and Harley through. He shouldn’t have done that---.” She stopped
“Lizzie what is it sweetie?” he asked taking her hand in his, “I know you never really wanted to be a Spaulding but there was something about the way you looked at me when you saw me at ‘Outskirts’ the other day that made me realize you weren’t as bad as grand-dad said… Gus I know you don’t like me but I can’t talk to the family about this.” She finished.
“First of all honey, I’m still your daddy’s brother biologically whether I want to be or not so I’m still your uncle. It isn’t that I don’t like you Lizzie; we just haven’t gotten the chance to really know each other. Secondly, I know I’m not your dad but you can still come to me whenever you need too. Now you need to talk about something; let’s see if we can take that first step to getting to know each other huh?”
She smiled, “I’d like that.” “Me too sweetie.” Gus replied, “So what’s up?”
“Why is it so hard for us to love Coopers?” Lizzie wondered.
He smiled, “This is about Coop isn’t it?” When she nodded he continued, “Honey its not that it’s hard to love them it’s just the outside forces that play against us. If it were hard we wouldn’t love Coop or Harley. Tell me why you love Coop?”
“He sees me; I mean really sees past the Spaulding to who I really am. He gives me the chance to “fly” even when he’s right beside me holding my hand. He’s my strength when I can’t take Mom or granddad anymore, all I have to do is look at him and...” she stopped as if trying to find the right word.
Gus smiled as he waited -- he knew what she was trying to say, “He’s a quiet strength for you.” He whispered.
“Yeah how did you know?” Lizzie asked, looking at him, “because Harley is that for me, when I don’t think I can handle anymore all I have to do is look at her.” He responded as he looked up at his niece.
Lizzie smiled then continued, “Anyway Coop can calm me down when I need it. I remember not to long after daddy died and Harley had been sent to prison --- She faltered on the last three words. Gus gently squeezed her knee as a way to show her it was okay to continue, “What?” She stared at him; neither knew that Harley had finished her calls and was sitting on the steps listening.
“Coop came storming in the house one night, he threw the apron from Company down; I could see he was mad yet he started rambling about it not being the same. When I asked what wasn’t the same he said the macaroni and cheese he made for the boys wasn’t the same they had wanted because it wasn’t Harley’s macaroni and cheese. I tried to talk to him but he couldn’t hear me he was so upset and I told him to come with me.
"He agreed with me and stormed out I followed him, I took him to daddy’s memorial and told him that I understood how the boys must miss Harley but she’ll be back but my dad wouldn’t be. I got angry at him for telling me about the boys and then I talked about daddy and he just waited me out. Seeing me calm down a little he began to tell me about how he still missed his mom. We were talking and Coop hugged me and granddad walked up and told him to leave me alone…"
"Gus I stood up do granddad---.”
Gus saw the tears in her eyes, “You did?” Nodding the twin tears rolled down her cheeks, he pulled her close to hold her as she finished, “Granddad wanted me to fire Coop from Company because he didn’t want Coop around me but I refused to fire him and Granddad got angry and told me to get in the car and that we’d discuss it at home.”
“Sweetie that’s enough.” Gus replied. She leaned back to look up at him, “I miss daddy.” “I know you do Lizzie.” He answered holding her while she cried on his shoulder. He sat in silence and gently ran his hand over her hair as she stayed beside him.
Harley slowly made her way downstairs and lightly ran her fingers over the back of his neck. He looked over to her and she nodded. The frustration showed in his eyes as he looked at Lizzie then back to her.
“How?” he mouthed for Harley.
Leaning over she quietly spoke in his ear, “Coop is supposed to be with her tonight.” He bunched his other hand in her hair in acknowledgement that he heard her as she continued, “I’ll get her some water, and be right back.” She went to the kitchen as Gus ran his hand over Lizzie’s back.
Bringing back the water she passed it to him as she sat down on the coffee table in front of them
“Lizzie honey, drink this okay and try to steady a bit.” Gus asked as she sat up and took the water from him only then noticing Harley was there.
“I’m sorry Gus.” she said seeing the wet spot on his shirt.
“It’s okay. I want you to know that I’m here if you need me and so is Harley.”
She looked over at Harley as she nodded. “We are both here if you need us Lizzie.” Harley responded. “You don’t hate me?” Lizzie wondered even as she fought tears.
“Oh Lizzie I never hated you… I want you to understand that I did love your dad very much at one time, I will always have a special place in my heart for the Phillip I once knew; it was that Phillip that gave me your little brother.”
“But you love Gus now,” Lizzie said with a smile. Harley looked at him, “Yes I love Gus very much.”
Gus carefully sat up and took Lizzie’s hand in his, “Are you supposed to meet Coop?” When she nodded he winked, “Okay wipe those eyes and take some deep breaths and go see him and let him make you smile.”
Harley herself smiled as she heard that. Standing Lizzie hugged her and then leaned over to hug Gus, “Thank you.” He winked at her as she turned and he called her back, “Thanks for taking that first step with me.” He said She nodded, “Can we keep going?” she wondered.
When he nodded she ran back to hug him again. After she left Gus looked at Harley, “let Coop make her smile before I tear the smile off her face.” He whispered. “Oh baby.” She said quietly.
Taking her hand he just stared in her eyes for a minute for that strength he was telling his niece about then gently he took the phone from her and dialed a number.
“Hey Coop its Gus.” he said
“Yeah everything’s okay Lizzie just came to see me and now she’s on her way to see you, can you do something for me and make her smile?” he asked
“Sure Gus I’m supposed to see her tonight but with pop calling the family meeting ---.” Coop started to say but Gus cut him off.
“See her Coop and make sure she stays with you for the meeting no matter how much she protests… We’ll see you later.” Gus replied and then hung up.
“Sweetheart how can I do this…?” he asked with frustration in his voice and his eyes.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus Nov / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 5, 2005 14:40:46 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 7
“Okay sweetheart, the boys are ready to go when we are.” Gus stated as he walked stiffly down the stairs. When she heard the tightness in his voice she looked up and watched him as he descended the last few steps to reach her.
“You okay?”
“My lower back is hurting.” He replied.
Stepping behind him she placed her hand flat against him, “Where?” Showing her where the best he could she massaged his back. Leaning back against Harley she braced their weight as she let her hand warm his back.
“Better honey?” Harley asked. When he didn’t say anything she said his name. Looking down at the floor he moved away so she wasn’t holding his weight any longer. Running her hand over the back of his shoulder and to the front she stepped around to see him. He stared at her as she came around and didn’t bother to hide his angry yet tear filled gaze from her.
“Harley baby, let me just hold you while I still can please?” he asked as he wrapped her in his arms and breathed in the sent of her hair as she rubbed her hand over the back of his neck.
“I was helping the boys get dressed and finish packing their bags when I looked over and saw Zach’s little face then I saw Jude’s and it hit me -- the worse I get I won’t be able to do the normal things I do with them like their baths, and reading them there bedtime stories and have my time with them.” He said softly as he shut his eyes, “I won’t be their dad.”
“Oh sweetie, you will always be the boys’ dad and true you won’t be able to do some things for them but you still can and will be able to do certain things we’ll just have to modify how you do them.” Harley stated.
“Gus!!” Zach and Jude shrieked as they ran downstairs. “What guys?” he remarked turning. “We want hugs.” He laughed, “Okay lets go sit down.” He replied taking them by the hands and walking with them to the couch. Sitting, he pulled them both to his lap and as they hugged him tightly he turned to see her; she smiled softly then said, “Can you get them to the car while I go make sure they didn’t forget anything and get their stuff and lock up?”
He nodded as he hugged them tightly once more and taking each little boy by a hand they walked out. Harley heard her men talking as they went to the car. As she went upstairs she let her tears go as she thought to the moment before the boys interrupted. “How can I watch him get worse day after day… how can I do this?” she said out loud as she checked the boys’ bags. Carrying the bags down; she went to the couch and grabbed a pillow then walked out the door and locked it. When she looked around Gus was standing there watching her from the passenger door and she stared at him.
Held in his gaze he winked at her, “You ready beautiful?” Harley smiled and wiped away her tears as she nodded and began walking toward him. “I can do this because I love him.” She realized. “We can do it together even though it won’t be easy at times.” She thought as she reached him.
Gus saw the tracks her tears had left when she stood in front of him but didn’t say anything. He knew every difference about her and many times why. Dropping a light loving kiss on her lips he smiled then they got in the car and headed to Rick’s to drop the boys off to stay the night since Mel was there with Leah while Rick would be at Company with them.
Pulling out of the driveway after leaving the boys, Gus saw the pillow between them and picked it up, “Why’d you bring this honey?” he wondered.
“For your back.” She remarked casting a glance at him and saw him looking at her. “Thanks.”
With no words Gus reached up and rubbed her cheek where the tears had been; she bit her lip; she knew that was his way of letting her know that he’d seen the tears. Opening her hand he slid his in her palm and closed his fingers.
He leaned up and turned on the radio to a soft rock station and with the volume at a low the music surrounded them as they continued to drive toward Company for this meeting that neither wanted to have. Both knew it would be hard to tell the family about this; much less guess the reactions each member of the family might have.
“Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think.” Gus thought as they pulled in the parking lot.
Company…
Hand in hand they walked in together and Buzz waved at them as they headed to a table. Gus sat in the chair and flinched as he tried to get his back comfortable. Harley leaned over and placed her hand on his shoulder and spoke into his ear. When he nodded she kissed his cheek and turned and walked out the door. Buzz sat down beside him, “You make my daughter happy Gus.”
“I love her Buzz.” He replied as she came back in bringing the pillow with her.
“Hey Daddy… Here baby lean up a bit.” When he did Harley placed the pillow against the back of the chair. Finally getting the pillow placed right Gus leaned back and placed his hands over hers that were wrapped around him. Tilting his head back she dropped an upside down kiss over his lips then gently bit his lip making him laugh.
“Hey Harley, Gus, can I ask what this meeting’s about?” Buzz said watching them. Gus replied, “I’d rather tell everyone at once… it would be easier.” Buzz nodded as he stood and placed a hand on his shoulder even as they saw Rick walk in. “I’ll go get drinks since everyone is starting to get here.” Buzz said walking away.
“Hey Guys.” Rick said as he stood beside them. “Are you ready?”
“How can I be ready for something like this?”
Rick nodded as all three watched as Marina, Frank, Alex, Coop, Lizzie, Blake & Ross walked in. When Ross walked in Buzz walked behind him outside and put the closed sign up outside then came in closing the door behind him and went to the table where everyone was already sitting.
“Why are Blake and Ross here?” Harley whispered as she took her seat by Gus. He looked at her, “Because you need someone here for you tonight, I had your dad call them.” He answered her quietly.
“Okay why are we all here?” Frank asked. Gus took a deep breath and just looked around the table starting with Lizzie on his right and all around until he locked eyes with Harley who was on his left.
“Well there is something you all need to know.” Gus stated.
“Oh Harley, you’re pregnant.” Blake guessed. Both Harley and Gus laughed and she shook her head as he continued, “No Blake she’s not I wish it were that great of news… I really do.”
“Starting a few weeks ago I started having some problems---.” “What do you mean Gus?” Alex asked. “Let him finish Alex.” Harley requested. “—I went to get the mail one day and when I came back I was looking through it when Harley saw me begin to fall—when I took a step to try and balance I fell, I couldn’t feel my feet and legs under me. It went away after a few minutes and I was okay but through the weeks the attacks happened again or I’d have a tingling sensation in my feet or my thighs, or my lower back, or shoulders began to hurt. The day it got bad enough for me to go to Cedars – I cut my hand with a knife but I didn’t feel it until Harley told me to look at my hand and when I did it was bleeding.”
“Gus what’s ---?”
Holding his hand up; he stopped Frank, “Let me get this out.” Frank nodded and leaned back, “We went to the hospital and after getting examined by Rick he told me he was going to call a doctor in to consult. The new doctor examined me and admitted me night before last to run some tests, he ran a series of tests plus a spinal tap---.” Gus stopped when he heard Lizzie gasps. Taking her hand he continued, “I met with the doctor this morning to get the results of the spinal tap and he told us that I have something called Guillian-Barre Syndrome.” Gus finished.
“What is it?” Buzz asked. Gus looked over at Rick, “Can you explain?” He nodded as he began to tell them what would be happening as a result of the syndrome. Rick was talking when all of a sudden Lizzie yelled, “NO! NO!” and in haste to leave knocked over her chair as she ran out.
Coop stood and looked at them, “Go after her Coop and bring her back so I can talk to her.” Gus replied. He nodded as he ran out after her. When Rick finished explaining everyone was silent. Harley looked at Gus as she saw his eyes and taking his hand stood up and continued
“We wanted all of you to know because you are all special to us as friends and family. This won’t be an easy thing to battle so we will need your support as Gus’s symptoms become worse ---.” Buzz stood interrupting Harley, “As I look around I think I can safely speak for everyone here, both of you have our support and love and we will help in any way you ask us too. Neither of you are alone through this.” He remarked.
“It won’t be easy Buzz.” he said softly. “No it won’t be but both of you are fighters and you won’t let this beat you.”
Over Buzz’s shoulder, Gus saw Coop standing by the counter with a silent Lizzie. Everyone knew who was there without having to be told. Buzz took the lead and went to his son -in – law and with a squeeze on the shoulder left them; everyone followed him and talked to them for a bit and each left except Frank and Marina. Rick walked up to them, “You guys did really good I’ll kiss the boys for you and see you in the morning.” He stated then left as well.
Coop walked Lizzie over and sat her down in front of her uncle then went to Buzz who was at the counter. Harley squeezed his hand, “I’ll be with daddy if you need me.” He nodded never taking his eyes away from Lizzie. At the counter Harley, Buzz and Coop went into the kitchen to tell Coop the rest.
Taking her hands he just held them in his as he watched her eyes fill with tears. With a soft kiss on her hand Gus sat up, “Coop?” he called. When he appeared he walked over, “Yeah?” “Stay with us please.” He asked. “Are you sure Gus?” Coop wondered. He nodded, “She needs you right now.” He watched as his brother –in- law grabbed a chair and brought it over and sat down beside her and placed a hand at her back, “I’m right here Lizzie.” Coop said softly.
Gus squeezed her hands, “I need to talk to you about this sweetie, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you early when I saw you but I needed to wait and tell everyone at one.” She stared at him, “But you’re sick –.” She whispered. “Yes sweetie I’m sick, let me explain what is going to happen okay?” When she nodded he began to explain what she hadn’t heard Rick say. Lizzie began crying as she listened; when Gus finished she said the only thing that was on her mind
“You are going to die just like daddy did… die and leave me.”
“Oh Lizzie look at me… I’m not going to die--.” “But Uncle Rick said--.” Gus interrupted, “I know what Rick said sweetie but I won’t be; I’m going to fight so hard and beat this. Beside I have so much to live for… I have Harley who I love so much, I have Zach and Jude, I have Harley’s family, and Coop here may hit me if I leave his sister--.” When Coop stared at him Gus grinned. “He’s right Lizzie Gus can’t leave or I’d never forgive him.” Coop stated as he rubbed her back.
Squeezing her hand Gus continued, “I can’t let that happen can I?” She shook her head. “And Lizzie I have you, I can’t leave you… we’ve just begun to get to know each other -- I’m not going to leave that, so unless you tell me to go away you’ll be stuck with me cutie.” He looked at them both, “Coop you know what’s going on now as well so I will say there will be times I’m going to need your help.” “My help?” Lizzie wondered. Gus nodded, “Yes, yours and everyone’s help, this won’t be an easy disease to fight and I will have days were it will be bad and it won’t be easy on us but to know our family supports us will help.”
“You know you’ve got my help Gus whatever you need.” Coop stated. “I know I do and I appreciate it. Now tell me what you did today?” Gus asked.
“Well before coming back here we went for a walk in the park and we ended up in a play ground where I pushed Lizzie on the swings and I made her laugh and smile then we just talked and walked and honestly Gus we wondered about the meeting.” Coop remarked.
Gus smiled knowing Coop had done what he’d asked, “So you smiled after you left me today huh?” he said to Lizzie. “I was smiling when I left you today too.” She replied laughing as Coop tickled her.
From the kitchen Harley watched the scenes between them unfold and tears flooded her eyes. “He loves her so much even when she doesn’t understand.” She said to herself as she continued to watch his reactions as he talked. Seeing him move his back she walked over,
“Can I join this party?” She asked grinning. “Get over here lova.” He replied pulling her down to sit in his lap. “Not about my sister, Gus please!!” Coop whined making a horrible face. Harley playfully hit at Coop as Gus laughed.
Harley kissed his cheek then whispered in his ear, “You back’s really hurting isn’t it?” then she looked at him. He nodded as he threaded his fingers through hers.
“Okay sweetie I’m tired and I’m sure you’re getting that way I’m ready to go are you?” she asked getting up from Gus’s lap. When he tried to stand he couldn’t since his back was getting stiff. Lizzie put her arm around him on one side to help him and Harley.
“I’ll be back Coop.” she replied, he nodded then grabbed the pillow and went out with them and watched them walk out to the car. Reaching the car Coop threw the pillow in the front seat then went to wait by the bench for Lizzie.
Gus turned to face Lizzie and hugged her to him kissing her hair. She hugged him back tightly then looked up in his eyes. Smiling, he softly replied, “I love you cutie very much…I’m not going to leave you.” She smiled as he got in the car. Once he did he waved as Harley left the parking lot.
Back inside, everyone stood around the counter in silence thinking about what they’d heard tonight. Coop stood behind Lizzie with his arms around her while Marina stood between Buzz and her dad and she had a hand on Frank’s shoulder.
“They both have our support no matter how hard it may get.” Buzz stated quietly as he looked at each person. When he did they nodded and said absolutely. Frank’s was the only voice heard a few minutes later when he said, “Absolutely.”
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To Be Continued...
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 5, 2005 14:44:02 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 8
Both were silent when they walked through the door. Harley pulled her jacket off and hung it up and when Gus handed her his jacket she took it as he walked away and went to the kitchen.
Harley just stood in the middle of the family room, did she go to him? did she wait knowing he needed this time alone? She opted to wait because she knew that he needed this time. He had been quiet on the drive home and didn’t say a word. She had glanced at him as she drove and all she saw was him staring out the window. Not doing anything but kick her shoes off she waited—she knew that for him it all became real tonight when he told everyone… she had seen it in his eyes when she had taken his hand.
What Harley didn’t see was his reaction, Gus stood at the kitchen sink staring out the window at the backyard as everything that had happened began to sink in with him. Telling everyone tonight had made it real and he knew he wasn’t going to wake up from this bad dream. The stress of everything that’s happened to him plus the thoughts of what might as well as how he was going to provide for his family started to overwhelm him and he began to gag so he leaned over the sink.
Harley must have heard him because the next thing he knew she was behind him rubbing his back while he got sick. He wanted contact with her. She saw as he reached a hand backwards toward her and she threaded her fingers through his and he squeezed her hand.
“Sweetie, just hang on.” She said as she got a glass and filled it with water from the refrigerator and came back to him--as he stood she passed it to him.
“Thanks” he replied in a scratchy whisper before he drank the water. “Are you okay? She wondered. He nodded, “I think it was stress.”
She let him steady a bit while she washed out the sink then turned to him when he called her name.
“We’re not going to wake up from this nightmare are we?”
“No.” she said quietly watching him. “Damn.” She went to him and caressed his cheek. Turning so he could wrap her in his hold he kissed her softly. His mouth never left hers as he said against her lips, “I need to be with you, to hold you in my arms and know you’re mine.”
Without a word she kissed him deeply and when he moaned deep in his throat he took her hand and they went upstairs. Reaching their room Gus kicked the door shut even as he reached for her when she moved away.
“Don’t.” he whispered.
“But my clothes honey.” She answered.
“Allow me beautiful.” He said as he kissed her softly then began to unbutton her shirt one button at a time while he kissed each patch of newly exposed skin that he uncovered. “I love you” he whispered as he kissed her stomach.
Kneeling in front of her he lowered her slacks and then watched as they pooled at her feet. He sat back just looking at her while in his head all he could think was “Please don’t let anything go wrong with my touch please god.” Standing carefully he kissed her as he shed his clothes then they walked toward the bed. Picking her up, he placed her on the bed then followed her down.
“Tonight is just us Gus no one else.” Harley whispered as she held his head where he’d laid it on her shoulder. All the while thinking, “Let us just have tonight please!” He smiled then captured her mouth with his in a kiss that made her head spin. She waited -- tonight was for him and him alone. He slowly and gently ran his hands up and down her arms from shoulder to fingers.
He felt his way down her body and dropped kisses on her collar bone, chest, stomach; he heard her breath hitch as he went lower. Seeing her eyes turn the color of emeralds he kissed her mouth as he placed his hand over her most intimate area and waited. He could see what he was doing to her and he smiled as she began her assault on him. She knew what he was doing not only to her but for them. The longer they kissed and touched each felt the desire rise. Looking down into her eyes he made them one, kissing her lovingly.
They slowly made love… both wanting a night they could each go to when the rough days were too much. As they waited for their pulses to level and return to normal Harley tightly shut her eyes never wanting this moment and being in his arms to end.
“We need to talk about things honey.” He stated quietly running his fingers through her hair.
He felt her nod against his chest. “The boys have to be told.” He whispered. She nodded again but never said anything not wanting him to see the tears.
Knowing why she wasn’t speaking he swallowed hard, “Baby look at me?” he asked. She sat up with her back to him. He reached over and with one finger, began to trace letters on her back and as she concentrated on his touch she realized what he was spelling. When he finished he just waited then tried again, “Baby look at me please?”
Turning slowly Harley looked at him and he saw her tears. Opening his arms she laid back down as he wrapped them around her. Tilting her head she looked down into his eyes as he wiped the tears away. “Sweetheart, tell me what’s going through your head?”
“I can’t.” she said softly.
“You can tell me sweetie… no matter how tough things get… please promise you’ll always tell me what you’re feeling no matter what, I want to be here for you.” He stated kissing her hair.
She looked back down into his eyes for a minute even as the tears started again. She couldn’t look at him so she sat back up and he let her go. She grabbed the pajama shorts and tank from the floor where they had been thrown in haste earlier and slipped them on then sat back down. He hated to see her like this so he sat up and after pulling on some pajama pants walked around to her side and knelt in front of her.
“Harley what?” he asked gently placing his hands on her thighs, “Tonight just was special for both of us.” She whispered. Parting her legs he moved between them as he leaned against the bed and pulled her to him hugging her. “It was baby, every time I’m with you is special.” He replied feeling her lay her cheek on his hair. What he didn’t see was her look of fear as her thoughts ran in her head, “I’m scared to lose you, I’m really scared.”
After just a few minutes in silence Gus stood and they climbed back in bed after pulling the covers over them he kissed her with such love and threw his arm over her hip pulling her close and both went to sleep. Both knowing the other was scared but not wanting to say it.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 5, 2005 14:45:58 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 9
Okay guys, I feel this is as good a place as any to say this since in the next chapter it will start how GusH copes with this disease.
First let say, I am not apologizing for it being a sad story however I honestly didn't intend for it to be this sad! Seeing how I wanted the scenes to play out -- the scenes sort of wrote themselves. It will be better I promise! My next fic will be normal.
Now, in following chapters, Gus will be dealing with what I can only hope is a fair and accurate picture of the aspects of GBS and how it can and does affect people. One more thing: later in the story GusH talk about something so that he can be with her when she needs him to be.(which will be all good!) Hope you are still reading! ~~ GG ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Harley got up before Gus and just watched him sleep. He was so beautiful; she just sat in silence for a while then a little later she gently kissed his hand that was resting on his chest then went and showered and dressed.
Hoping he wouldn’t be up until she was back she left him a note in case he did then she went and picked up the boys.
Getting back, she let them in the house and the boys ran upstairs, shouting Gus’s name as they went. Reaching their room, she laughed, both boys were buried next to Gus and hugging him tightly.
“Hey Beautiful” Gus replied never taking his eyes from her. Knowing what they had to do he nodded, “I’ll be down shortly.” “Come on boys come with me and let Gus get dressed.” Harley remarked. The boys jumped down and ran out. As she turned, his voice stopped her, “I love you.” He murmured reaching her then leaned in and kissed her. “I love you too honey.” She said before leaving so he could shower.
A little later, they were sitting on the couch with the boys between them. “Guys we need to tell you something.” Gus said.
“What Gus?” Zach asked. “Well do you remember when mommy took me to the hospital the other day?” Zach nodded along with Jude. “You stayed there over night so the doctors could make you better.”
“Yeah I stayed there so the doctors could look at me but I’m not better little man.” Gus answered even as a lump gathered in his throat; how was he supposed to tell these boys that daddy was sick and was going to have a long fight to get better?
“Daddy is still sick, little man.” He told Zach. “No,” the little boy replied as he crawled into Gus’s lap. “This illness won’t be easy for me so I’m going to need you guys to help me at times okay?”
“How Daddy?” Jude asked.
“Well daddy will have to fight to get better and there will be days were I won’t be able to walk very well so I’ll need you guys to help me with things because I may hurt or can’t move very well … there will also be times where this will be hard for mommy so you and your brother will need to help her when I can’t.”
“Daddy’s right guys.” Harley stated. “You can keep him company or help him.”
“We’ll help you daddy.” Zach said. “I know you will.” Gus replied looking at both his boys, “I need you guys to listen to me really good. On the days that are really bad for me, I want you both to remember that I love you very much and always will no matter what happens. Zach, Jude, do you remember when mommy went away for a while and we had to be strong for her? They nodded and he continued; “Well now you guys will have to be the same for me and help me and mommy when we need it. We are a family and we’ll all get through this and when we do we’ll all be stronger for it. Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean we can’t do things, we can, and we’ll just do them a little differently. Do you guys understand?” When they nodded they each hugged him and then ran upstairs.
“Baby that hurt like crazy to tell them daddy was sick.” Gus replied. “I know baby.” Harley said softly.
Behind them on the stairs Zach stood staring at Gus with tears in his eyes. He knew when they had gone to the hospital that something was wrong. Running upstairs Jude looked at him when he came in their room.
“Zach?”
“Leave me alone!” He replied fighting tears but with no use. With a nod Jude went downstairs.
“Daddy?” Jude called when he reached the family room. “Yeah buddy?” he said when the little boy reached both he and Harley. “Zach’s crying in our room.” Gus leaned his head back and let out a breath. “Let me go honey.” Harley asked. “No, I’d better go.” Gus said softly in her ear, “you help Jude.” He answered when he saw tears in Jude’s eyes as well.
Standing he stroked Jude’s cheek lightly then went upstairs.
Reaching the boys room, he leaned on the doorjamb and just watched Zach for a minute when he saw his shoulders shaking slightly. Going in he sat gently on the bed beside him.
He felt a hand on his back as he continued to cry. He knew it was Gus but he didn’t want to look at him.
“Zach, look at me please.” Gus asked softly as he rubbed the little boy’s back.
He refused shaking his head. Gus gently rolled him over and wiped his tears away, “Come here little man.” He remarked holding his arms open. The little boy sat up quickly and hugged him tight.
Pulling him into his lap Gus just held him not saying anything. Zach didn’t seem to need words at this minute just reassurance that he wasn’t leaving them. Gus didn’t realize that at the same time downstairs Harley was doing the exact same with Jude.
“You’re not leaving Daddy?” Zach said softly as he buried himself closer into Gus.
“No, Zach, I’m not. I love my family. Fighting this illness will be a big job but I love mommy, you, and Jude too much to leave you. So I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why don’t you lie back down and try and take a nap for a little while okay?” Gus wondered. Before he could continue he saw Harley come in carrying Jude. When Jude saw him he held his arms out.
Holding him tight Gus glanced at Harley, “I was going to lay him down for a nap but he wouldn’t until he saw you.” She replied. Looking at Jude he smiled, “I’m here buddy its okay.” He said as he kissed his cheek. Harley took him and laid him down and covered him with a blanket. Both brothers looked at each other and Gus and Harley saw the look that passed between them but couldn’t read it. As they stood Zach’s voice stopped them.
“Mommy, Daddy… don’t go yet.” He whispered.
Knowing they needed reassurance now Harley ran out of their room and a minute later was back carrying two pillows and a blanket. “Right now is a good time for a nap; you agree Daddy?” she asked looking at Gus. He nodded. He kicked off his shoes and while the boys watched Harley gently helped Gus sit on the floor between the boys’ beds and then sat down beside him. After getting comfortable with the pillows they lay down and covered up.
“Okay boys we’re all sleepy so let’s snooze for a bit and then later we can play. They nodded as they blew kisses to both of them. When Gus and Harley fell asleep both Zach and Jude watched them for a few minutes and then they went to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 7, 2005 15:16:07 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 10
Okay it’s been a month since Gus and Harley held the meeting at Company and little by little the pain is becoming worse on certain days tonight is family night with them at Home and all the family is there except Alex who has gone to see Alan.
I hadn’t planned for 10 to be a long chapter however… I have decided to break up what happens into 2 chapters so Chapter 11 picks up where 10 left off.
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“Okay everybody the burgers aren’t quite done so it will be just a little bit longer.” Buzz replied as he walked from the kitchen where Coop, Lizzie, Frank, Marina, Harley, Gus sat around playing cards while Zach and Jude sat close by coloring although every few minutes they’d run over and help someone out with which cards to discard.
“Sis do you have any 3’s?” Coop wondered watching her. “Go Fish” Gus watched her for a second then with a grin replied, “Baby don’t lie to Coop like that! Give him the 3’s.” Harley shot Gus a look and with a sigh she passed her brother the cards he’d asked for.
“I’m gonna get you for that.” Harley remarked. “Really?” he questioned. She nodded, “You owe me for that Gus.” “What?” he asked. Everybody waited to see what she would say. Looking at him seriously, “A kiss.” She said even as Frank chuckled.
“Well come here.” He answered using his finger to motion her over. With a sly smile she walked over and when she leaned down where he could reach her he slowly wrapped his fingers in her shirt and pulled her mouth to his. Although the kiss looked like a simple kiss between a husband and wife it in reality was a kiss that sent Harley’s senses reeling.
“He really does love your sister Coop.” Lizzie whispered as Coop rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “Yeah he does, it seems to radiate from them.”
Breaking the kiss he smiled at her as he whispered, “I love you.”
“Same here Aitoro but that doesn’t mean I had to give up my 3’s geez.” He laughed as she sat back down.
“I’m going to go get a drink, anybody want anything?” Gus asked. Everyone was fine but Harley looked up and he nodded.
Carefully he stood and made sure he could balance then carefully stepped away from the couch and went to the kitchen.
“Harley, why’s he not wearing shoes?” Lizzie asked looking at her. “Because wearing shoes are starting to bother him so anytime he doesn’t have to wear them he doesn’t.” she answered. “Is the pain bad when he does?” Frank asked. “No not at first it just seems to be if he has to wear them for a really long period of time.”
“Buzz.” He called from the kitchen, “You might want to check the burgers.” “Okay coming.” Buzz replied jumping up just as Gus came back in the family room.
“Here ya go baby.” He said passing her the drink as he sat down. “Thanks.” She mumbled looking at her cards trying to decide.
“I thought Aunt Alex was supposed to be here Gus.” Lizzie remarked. He looked over at her, “She is and will be in a little while cutie but she wanted to make a stop first.”
“Where honey.” Harley asked. “Alan.” Was all he said? “Was she going to tell him?” He nodded again and then they all went back to playing cards.
Meanwhile at the psychiatric area…
“Mr. Spaulding, you have a visitor.” The guard replied letting Alex pass before closing the door and locking it.
Alex stood watching her brother stare out the window waiting for him to say something.
“Hello sister dear.” Alan said turning to face her. “Have a seat.” He motioned toward the cot as he stood at the end of the bed close to her.
“I’m surprised you’re here.”
“I’m surprised to Alan but you are my brother and I needed to visit to talk to you.” She said even as she saw Alan raise an eyebrow at her. “But first are they treating you well?” she wondered.
“As well as to be expected Alex... now why all this mystery over this visit.” Alan asked staring. “Does it have something to do with Elizabeth?”
“No, Lizzie is fine and happy with Coop.” “Hmmptt” Alan muttered. “Well I know it’s not about Beth—she was here just a little while ago and she was fine or she would have told me. Alan remarked.
“No not about Beth or Lizzie.”
“Well Alex that only leaves one person and that’s Gus.” Alan stated and saw her look down at her hands.
“What did he do now?” Alan wondered.
“It’s not what he’s done Alan dear it is what he’s dealing with.” Alex pointed out.
“What do you mean Alex?”
She turned to face him so she could see his face as she told him. “Alan, Gus is sick with an illness that he’s going to have to battle to over come.” She said as she leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Her brother just stared at her without a word; he had never seen her like this. Realizing what she had said his face went white but Alex didn’t see him.
“Does he need specialists?” Alan asked slowly. “No, not now… he trusts the doctor he has now.” Alex replied. “The disease is called Guillian –Barre Syndrome. I just thought you’d like to know your son is sick and has a battle ahead of him. She said standing.
“Does he know you’re here Alex?” Alan asked.
“Yes, he does, he left it up to me as how much to te---.” He stopped her, “There’s more?”
She nodded, “---yes, but considering I’m following their lead as to how much people know; I don’t know how much he’d want you to know. So for now just know he’s ill and that he and his wife will fight together to get him through this.” With that she motioned for the guard and he unlocked the cell and she left leaving Alan staring behind her.
Back at the house…
When the doorbell rang everyone was in an intense round of Go Fish except Marina who had stopped to help the boys so she answered the door and let Alex in just as Buzz said, “NO Fair Coop.”
She smiled just as Gus looked up. When he saw her he stopped and she went to him leaning down and kissing his cheek. He gave her a look and she nodded. Setting his cards down he slowly tried to get to his feet. Once he was standing Alex placed a hand on his back to steady him as they walked to the kitchen. Pulling a chair out for her they sat down.
“Did you tell him?” Gus asked quietly.
“I told him yes, and he wondered if you needed specialists.” Alex replied. “Did you tell him what it was Alex?” “Gus all I told him was that you were sick but I didn’t go into details about the symptoms since I didn’t know exactly how much you wanted him to know.” She said.
He nodded, “Good, thank---.” He started to say but stopped when Buzz walked in.
“Sorry I need to check on the burgers.” Buzz remarked as he walked in the kitchen. “It’s okay, we’re done. Thanks Alex.” Gus replied.
“Anytime sweetie.” Alex said.
“Guys the burgers are done.” Buzz remarked then called everyone else. As Harley walked in she saw Gus grimace in pain so she knelt in font of him. “Where honey?”
“My legs.” Gus said softly. She slowly placed a small amount of pressure on his leg as she began to rub. Everyone kept up the conversation except Coop who was behind Harley watching. Finishing with that leg she began on the other. While they were turned away from the table Frank had gotten the hamburgers for both Gus and Harley and set them at there places.
Once she was finished she stood as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently then he turned in his chair and saw the burger in front of him. “Thanks Frank.” He responded quietly.
Lively conversation was going around the table after dinner when Gus stood to go get ice cream for everyone. He had just placed some in a bowl when everyone heard a loud thunk and looked over and he was beginning to fall but trying to keep himself from going all the way down by clutching to the sink to stay standing.
Both Frank and Buzz jumped up and ran over to grab him. “We’ve got you.” Buzz said as both men gripped under his arms to keep him standing. Harley went to him, “Are you having a problem breathing Gus?” she asked watching for the symptoms the doctor told her too. He shook his head no and she kissed his cheek.
“Okay Gus lets get you to a cha--.” Frank started to say but was interrupted. “I AM NOT HELPLESS DAMNIT!!!” Gus shouted angrily. “I want ice cream and I’m going to get it.” When Harley heard him start to shout tears sprang to her eyes and she ran from the kitchen and Coop followed her.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November. / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 7, 2005 15:18:25 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 11
Picking up where 10 left off. Maybe a short chapter may not be. ~~ GG
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Outside, Harley sat heavily on the bench and wiped the tears away while fighting more. Coop watched her for a minute before saying something.
“Harley.” He said softly as he sat beside her. “Are you okay?”
She looked up and tried to smile at her brother, “Yeah I just needed some air Coop I’ll be in; in a second.”
“Okay we can stay here but its Gus’s falling that got to you I saw your face when dad and Frank were with him.” He replied.
She couldn’t stop the tears as the scene in the kitchen replayed in her mind again and she grabbed on to her brother and cried as he held her. “His symptoms are getting worse Coop; the pain’s worse. He dropped the ice cream because he lost his sense of touch right before his legs buckled. He’s had these spells more frequently. I can’t loose him.”
“You won’t sis, he won’t leave you.” Coop replied kissing her forehead.
“Harley, I’ll stay tonight in case you guys need help or anything okay.” Coop replied when she looked at him. She nodded and kissed her brother’s cheek before she said, “We better go back in before Gus sends Frank out here.”
Back inside, Gus was looking around for Harley. “Where is she?” he wondered. “I’m here handsome.” Harley answered coming to kneel by him. “Are you hurting?” When he nodded she stroked his cheek “I’ll call Dr. Johnson and see if there’s anything you can take, I’ll be back.” She replied.
Buzz looked over at him, “We’re going to go okay so you can get the boys to bed and spend time together okay.” He nodded just as Coop called his name, “I’ll stay tonight in case you guys need something. I’ll run get clothes and be back ok.” Gus nodded and Coop left.
“Honey the doctor said for you to take Acetaminophen, which he explained was Tylenol and try that for a while but if it gets worse we’ll find another treatment.” She replied going to get him the Tylenol and bringing it back.
After Gus took the Tylenol he stood, “I’m okay honey. I’ll go get the boys ready for bed while you finish here.” Before she could walk away he grabbed her and turned her to face him. “I love you so much Coop.” he said quietly. “I hate you having to deal with this.” Placing both hands on his face she stopped him with a look.
“Stop it Aitoro, we will deal with this together, I’m with you for the long haul, I’m not letting you go that easy. You are my partner. I love you too; so shut up and kiss me.” She requested.
He smiled, “Partner huh? We can thank Chief Franklin.” He said kissing her deeply. “Mmmm-hmm.” His wife mumbled as they got lost in the kiss.
“Ahem…Ahem.” Coop coughed behind them. When they looked around he smiled slightly, “Sorry.” Gus smiled before dropping a light kiss on her mouth, “its okay… I’ll go get the boys to sleep and be in our room honey.” He replied before walking out.
“Breathe sis, have you told him how scared you are?” Coop wondered as he watched her bite her lip when Gus walked away.
She shook her head, “I can’t, he’s scared enough as it is and I need to be strong for him.” She responded cleaning the table off. “But you guys are stronger together… tell him.”
“Maybe.” She answered.
Gus had just reached the stairs and was about to take a step when he lost feeling and sat down quickly. Dropping his head in his hands he quietly said, “Oh god, the paralysis is starting. There’s longer periods before the feeling comes back and the pain is worse. It seems the pain is moving up with each time.” He sat there for a bit until the feeling returned and then carefully went up to the boys.
A little later, he was in their room and was headed to the bathroom to change when he felt his legs begin to tingle then his legs buckled and he fell hard and started screaming.
“Harley!!! Harley!!! He shouted.
Downstairs both she and Coop heard the thump from upstairs and the shouts and took off running. Reaching her room she looked back at Coop to stop him from coming in. With a nod to indicate he’d wait she went in. Seeing him on the floor she was by him in a second, “I’m here.”
Gus looked up at her; when he did she saw the tears on his cheeks as he reached for her. “My legs buckled under me.” “Ok baby. Are you hurting anywhere?” she wondered. Gus nodded, “do you want to try a bath like you did last time? That seemed to help.” she asked.
“Yeah, but sweetheart, I can’t stand.” When Harley heard that her heart flipped. “I’m going to need help babe.”
“Coop!” She called. “Yeah” he replied coming in. “Can you help me, help him stand?” Her brother nodded and together they got Gus to his feet.
After the bath was ready, Coop helped Gus to the bathroom and once Gus was sitting on the side Harley placed his legs over in the water and together with Coop’s help he lowered himself the rest of the way down. “Call me when you need help sis.” Her brother said then left them alone.
He leaned back and wearily closed his eyes as Harley began to massage his legs hoping the water plus the Tylenol he had taken earlier would ease his pain. Gus opened his eyes to see her as she helped him. Seeing the look on her face he stroked her cheek until she looked at him
“Harley, I know you are scared.” Without a word she nodded and he sighed at the fact he was causing her this fear and heartbreak. “Oh honey I’m so sorry.” “We’ll get through this together Gus. He nodded.
She really began to look at him as she continued with his legs, “Aitoro you’re not telling me something.” She said annoyed.
He knew she could read his expressions, “The pain has gotten steadily worse over the past couple of weeks.”
“I could tell sweetie.” He smiled sadly. “But you didn’t know the tingling sensations have been more frequent and the loss of feeling in my legs is longer. It’s not easy for me to navigate the stairs anymore. I tried tonight and I had to wait until the feeling was back before I could go up them.
“Oh honey, why didn’t you tell me before now?”
“Because I didn’t want to scare you anymore then you are plus I didn’t want to admit the paralysis was starting.” He remarked.
“I’ll call Dr. Johnson in the morning.” She said
She moved to where she could reach his back and began working the warm water into his back. He turned his head to look at her as she rested an arm over his shoulder and she leaned in toward him until they were forehead to forehead.
“I love you beautiful.” He whispered. She smiled and kissed him lightly. Not letting her go he kissed her again but deeper this time.
When she broke the kiss she stared at him and into his fathomless brown eyes. She saw his love for her, his ageless love he had once said. “Has the bath helped?”
He nodded, “Yeah but it would be better if you were in here with me.” He responded grinning. “Not this time, buddy we need to get you out before you wrinkle completely. She said chuckling.
Calling for Coop he came back, straddling the tub he gripped Gus under the arms and lifted him enough that when Gus used his upper arms Coop had leverage to help him stand then help him sit on the edge of the tub. While her brother helped him balance Harley lifted his legs out from the tub and then together they helped Gus walk to the bed and sit down.
“Thanks, sweetie.” Harley said kissing her brother’s cheek. “We can get it from here.” She replied.
“Are you sure?” He asked looking at both of them. Gus nodded. Telling them goodnight Coop left and closed the door. Harley helped him change out of the wet shorts he had worn in the tub and into another pair then get into bed. “It’s so humiliating Harley to have someone pick me up out of the tub.” He says frustrated. “I know, I’m sorry.” She answered holding him close. Once she was beside him he pulled her close and held her and with a kiss they slept.
Neither knew that Coop still stood outside their door in case Gus needed help again. When he didn’t hear noise he quietly opened the door and saw them asleep in each other’s arms. Quietly closing it again he placed his hand on the door as he closed his eyes looking up,
“Be with them please.” He said softly then turned and headed for the guestroom.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 11, 2005 15:13:40 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 12
Takes place 2 days later after Harley calls Dr. Johnson about the stairs. He orders a hospital bed and wheelchair for Gus and they are delivered
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Dr. Johnson met them at the house about an hour before the things would be delivered and set up. He smiled when he heard a little voice ask who is it. “It’s Dr. Johnson.” He replied and a minute later the door opened and he saw Gus there holding on to keep himself standing.
“Brett, hi come on in.” Gus said walking very stiffly back to the couch to sit down as the doctor shut the door. Harley smiled when she walked in and passed Zach his drink.
“Hi Harley.” He said. “Brett, how are you?” she asked. “Good thank you.” Before anymore could be said Zach jumped up and wandered over to where the doctor was sitting and just stared.
“Zach, it’s not polite to stare at anyone little man.” Gus remarked drawing the little boy’s gaze to him. “Sorry,” he said. He nodded as he looked back up, “Dr. Johnson, I don’t think you’ve met my stepsons, this is Zach and the one working a puzzle is Jude.” When both boys looked up Gus continued, “Guys this Dr. Johnson; daddy’s doctor.”
Zach walked closer to the doctor and motioned to him. Brett leaned forward, “You’re helping my daddy get better right?” Gus and Harley looked at each other when they heard the question. The doctor smiled, “I’m doing everything I can to help your daddy get better.”
“Good.” He replied then went back to his coloring.
“Gus, I’d like to examine you before they get here to set things up.” Brett stated. Nodding Harley got the boys attention and asked them to go upstairs for a while. They watched as the boys walked out of the room.
“Okay.” He replied kneeling on the floor in front of Gus, “I saw how your walking was when you answered the door.
“It’s getting harder and harder to walk.” Brett stated. Gus nodded, “Yeah but I try and walk anyway so the muscles…” he started to say but never finished the sentence. “I understand.” The doctor remarked.
Brett sat on his heels for a minute thinking, “You have already said the paralysis is worse by the longer periods of time you can’t move your legs. Harley spoke up, “He and I try and walk a few times a day from the front door to the kitchen just to make sure the muscles don’t completely shut down.
“That’s good. What I’m going to do now is just check your legs to see how far up it is now okay. Then I want to ask a few questions.” The doctor replied just as the doorbell rang.
“I got it.” Harley said going and getting the door. She let Lizzie in.
She stopped moving when she saw the man on the floor and Gus looked over. “Hey cutie, come over here.” Gus said holding his hand out. Going to him she leaned over and kissed him.
“Can I stay? Buzz said you might need some help today.” Sure, Lizzie this Dr. Johnson, Brett this is my niece Lizzie.” Gus responded as she sat down in the chair that the doctor had vacated.
“Nice to meet you Lizzie, the doctor replied as he continued his exam. “Okay Gus I’m going to start at your feet and work my way up, tell me when you feel something.” He nodded as the girls watched the doctor slowly placing pressure as he worked his way up. Just below the knee Gus said “Now.” Brett nodded and did the other leg before saying anything. “Now.”
Harley looked at Lizzie then at Gus as she took his hand. “It seems the paralysis is up to just below the knees Gus and it will continue to move upward.” Brett remarked. He squeezed Harley’s hand as he said, “So pretty soon what walking I can still do now I won’t be able to?”
“That’s right, pretty soon the wheelchair will be the means of mobility for you. Let me ask how’s the pain?”
“It’s bad some days and then on some days it’s not so bad.” Gus stated. “Any bad days recently?” the doctor wondered “Yeah two days ago it got bad enough for me to take it out on Harley.” He looked at her as he stroked her cheek, “I’m so sorry baby.” He said as he buried his face in her hair. She kissed the corner of his mouth.
“Did you manage to stop the worst of the pain?” Gus continued, “Yeah I lay down on the couch and she placed warm wash cloths over my legs after I took some Tylenol and that calmed down the pain to a reasonable ache I could tolerate.”
“Good, so the Tylenol is still working… you don’t need anything else right now?” He shook his head no.
“Okay has clothing been a problem for you especially against your legs?”
“Yeah I can’t where Jeans now. I either have to wear the light cotton pants, or soft lounge pants, or shorts; neither of those bothers me –.” “It just seems to be things made with a heavy material. Harley stated.
The doctor nodded, “Let’s check your breathing.” He replies standing; taking the stethoscope from around his neck as Harley helps Gus take off his shirt. Lizzie watched as Dr. Johnson warmed the end of the stethoscope on the palm of his hand then places it to Gus’s chest.
No one said anything during this time and the only thing that could be heard was Gus’s breathing. When he finished he wrapped the stethoscope over his neck as he asked, “Any problems breathing Gus?” He shook his head no even as Brett looked over at Harley for confirmation and she shook her head.
“Okay everything looks good, but as the paralysis continues upward it may affect the chest area and if it does and you have problems breathing let me know and head to the ER; I’ll meet you there.” They nodded just as the doorbell rang and Lizzie answered letting the men in with the bed as Gus stood with the Doctor and they showed the men the guestroom that was off the family room. Once Gus showed the men where the bed went they set to work setting it up. A man walked up to the doctor and said something quietly and the doctor left and went outside as Gus made his way to wait with Harley and Lizzie.
“A hospital bed Gus?” Lizzie asked; he heard the worry in her voice. He put his arm around her, “I can’t navigate the stairs anymore Lizzie so I have to move down here.” He replied. “I’m sorry,” she remarked kissing him. “Just then Brett came back in pushing a wheelchair. “New wheels have arrived for you.” He stated with a nod when Gus saw them. Harley moved to his other side when he looked away in disgust.
“That settles it, I’m not me anymore baby.” He said looking into her eyes. “Yes, you are honey.” She said as he said down in the chair.
Lizzie knelt by him and as he was watching her she whispered, “A quiet strength, remember?” he smiled. All of them went in the guest bedroom once the bed was set up and Dr. Johnson started to explain but Harley stopped him with a look.
“Yes, it’s big enough for two Harley.” He said then continued, “its set up like a regular hospital bed Gus, it has rails on both sides and it has the bed control on both rails—now I do want you to put one rail up at night so that you can’t fall off the side Harley’s not on.” Gus nodded. After a few minutes, the doctor left as Harley went to get the boys and bring them to Gus’s new room. After explaining to them everyone agreed to go to Company for dinner and so Gus could get use to his new wheels.
At Company…
At the step leading up to the door he looked up at Harley with bleak angry eyes.
“Harley I’ll take the boys in and send help out.” Lizzie replied taking the boys in. A minute later both Frank and Buzz were there.
“Hey Gus!” Buzz said. “Hey.”
“Sis we got it.” Frank said as he tilted the chair back just enough that Buzz could grab the front and make sure the front wheels were over the step before Frank lifted the chair the rest of the way. Turning him around Frank tilted Gus back and pulled him over the door’s threshold. On the last step Frank tilted back where the big wheels could roll down the step until they reached the flat surface.
Frank pushed him to a table and moved a chair and Gus pushed himself in. When they were alone he dropped his head in his hands, “How humiliating, honey.” He said softly for her ears alone.
She ran her hand over his hair as she sat close to him, “Sweetie, you’re just not used to the chair yet it will be okay after a while.” “I don’t want to be use to this.” He bit out. “I know honey, I don’t want you to either but for now we have to be.” She remarked kissing him slowly and deeply.
A few minutes later they heard, “Alright you two break it up, break it up.” From her father as he stood beside them. Gus looked around with a smile, “No way!” and went back to kissing his wife.
After a minute and another kiss they broke it as he took her hand in his, “I love you beautiful, I love you.” “And I love you.” She said as everyone sat down to eat together.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 11, 2005 15:15:15 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 13
“Damn it!!! I said leave me alone!!!” he shouted. “No!” Buzz answered, “I’ll check on the boys and be back.” He went to the coffee table where the boys were, Zach working on his home work and Jude was playing. “You guys doing okay?” When they nodded he smiled, “okay I’m going to be helping daddy with exercises if you need anything.” He remarked kissing the tops of their heads.
Going back to the door Buzz barely dodged a magazine that was flying at him and landed at his feet.
“Leave me alone ole man!” Gus yelled.
“You know that’s not an option right now.” His father-in-law stated as he stood at the end of the bed. “I’ll put the warm towels on your legs while we are doing this and maybe that will help. He placed the warm, damp, towels over both his legs from the top of the leg to the ankle; Buzz saw when Gus bucked.
“Owww!!! Owww!!! This hurts like hell.” Gus remarked watching Buzz
“Hurt bad? Or hurt good?”
“Both.” Gus said on shaky laugh. “Did you take anything before I came over?” Buzz wondered.
Gus nodded, “Yeah I took an Advil.” Buzz looked puzzled so he continued, “Dr. Johnson said I could alternate between the Tylenol for the not so bad days and Advil which is an anti-inflammatory for the bad days.”
After a little longer with the towels on his legs Gus nodded and Buzz took them off and slowly began the exercises. When his leg was bent Gus grimaced as Buzz kept stretching and bending his left leg.
“Daddy?”
Gus looked over at the door as he tried to bite back the pain, “Yeah Zach?” “Can you help me with my math homework?”
He nodded and the little boy walked in and over to the bed. “Ok little man, pull a chair over and we’ll get to work while Grandpa works on me.” Buzz chuckled. “You’re still adding numbers right?” Zach nodded “up to 2 and 0.” He smiled and Zach handed him the paper so Gus could check the problems he’d already done.
“Third problem is wrong little man, it’s not 8, here watch.” Gus replied holding five fingers up on one hand and four on the other, “now count my fingers Zach.” Gus asked as he moved them so the little boy could count them. “Its nine daddy.” “There ya go.” He said as he watched Zach erase the answer and put in the right one. “What’s the next problem?”
“Eight plus four daddy.” “Okay we have 8 right here.” Gus replied holding up eight fingers—“then you add four more.” He said holding four fingers up as Zach counted off his fingers, “9, 10, 11, and 12.” Zach smiled as he wrote the answer. They worked like that for another thirty minutes while Buzz stretched his legs up, out and then bent them.
A little later, Jude walked in, Hi daddy, I drew you a picture.” “You did?” he asked reaching to take the picture and look at it. “That’s great buddy. I love it. I’ll see if Grandpa can hang it for me in a few minutes.” Buzz looked over at Jude and nodded. The boys stayed with Gus while he finished the exercises and Grandpa put the warm towels back on his legs.
“Owww, owww.” Gus said as he ran his hands over his face trying to mentally block out the pain.
“Sill hurt really bad?” Buzz asked. He nodded, “More than you realize.”
Buzz squatted down in front of the boys, “Okay guys daddy’s tired from the exercises why don’t we scoot out and let him take a nap for awhile.” Their grandfather replied. They nodded as they stood and went to the bed. Buzz lifted Zach on the bed, then the little boy looked at Gus, “Daddy, I’m sorry you’re hurtin’” he replied hugging him. “I’m sorry you heard me yelling at Grandpa. But you know I love you right?” Gus wondered. The boys nodded as Zach hugged him again then Jude did.
“Head up to your room and I’ll be up in a minute.” Buzz told the boys as they ran out.
Taking the towels from his legs Buzz folded them then looked at him, “Do you want the light sheet to cover up with?” Nodding he placed it over Gus. “Okay, try and get some rest and yell if you need something.”
“Buzz, I’m sorry I yelled and threw something at you.” Gus replied seriously. “Its okay, no damage done, and I’ll shout back.” he said smiling. “Try to sleep, Harley should be back soon.”
“Has she called?” he wondered. Shaking his head he answered, “Haven’t talked to her since she left why?”
“Because she hasn’t been feeling good lately and I’m worried about her.” Gus responded. “Oh okay, try and rest.” Buzz replied as he watched his son-in-law close his eyes and then he quietly closed the door just a little bit.
“Brett, I’m scared, how do I help him.” Harley said as the tears slid silently down her cheeks. “I don’t know how much more I can watch him go through this… the worse the pain gets and the more the paralysis is the there; I can’t take away his pain and when he’s in that much pain I freeze; I’m afraid to touch him because I’m afraid I’ll hurt him more.
“Watching him day after day is hurting me—because I see the man I love but not seeing him active like he was hurts my heart. I see myself loosing him to this disease. I’ve woken up at night on more then one occasion just to watch him. I can’t lose him.”
“Does he know how scared you are?” Dr. Johnson wondered. “He does know I’m scared but not to what extent.” “Talk to him Harley. I, as the doctor, can only reassure both of you medically and be a listening ear. When I saw you both yesterday for his exam I gave it to you straight the paralysis is at waist level now and is still moving. Seeing him yesterday—he needs you as much as you need him. Gus is one of a few patients that will fight GBS endlessly and not let it take him. He does because he won’t leave the life he loves and the people he loves and Harley that love is you plain and simple. He won’t leave you, believe that.” Brett said.
Just then her phone rang, “Excuse me.” She replied and he nodded. “Okay I’ll be right there.” She said and hung up. “Brett, thanks for listening, I just hated to tell Gus this since I know he’s scared too.” “Anytime Harley.” He replied standing to go with her to the door.
Once she left Dr. Johnson’s office, she took the elevator one floor down to Dr. Sedwick’s office and the Dr. closed the door.
“The results are positive.” She said as Harley’s eyes flooded with tears, “Really.” The doctor nodded, “Now I know what you and Gus are dealing with so you need to take care of yourself as much as him. I already set the next appointment around what you said Gus’s regular appointments are.” She replied passing her an appointment card.
“Thanks,” she answered taking the vitamins that the doctor handed her. “I’ll see you soon.” She said over her shoulder as she walked out of the office and headed home.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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Post by Shanna on Nov 11, 2005 15:16:41 GMT -5
Just To Be With You... Chapter 14
One quick mention here: GBS can occur over a matter of hours or over a period of just a few months so in this time frame it has been only a few months so the time frame does fit with the end of this chapter. Next chapter may come in a few days -- I'll see
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Harley opened the door and saw her dad sitting on the couch. “Hey daddy.” She replied kissing his cheek as she sat down.
“Where is everybody?”
“Well, Gus is asleep, and the boys are upstairs playing.” He replied. He saw her look toward the closed door, “He’s still hurting pretty bad but he’s been asleep for about an hour baby.”
“Daddy can I ask a favor; can you take the boys tonight so Gus and I can have some time tonight?” She wondered. “Sure, I’ll go up and get them ready right now.” He said standing. “I’ll go with you and tell them then I can change. Harley stated as they went up the stairs together.
After talking to the boys and giving them both kisses for her and Gus she left them so her dad could get them ready and went to the bedroom. When she walked in her eyes landed on the wedding picture that was sitting on Gus’s night stand. Grabbing the comfortable clothes she wanted she changed then going to the nightstand picked up the picture and headed down stairs to see Gus.
Buzz stopped her at his door, “Baby we’re going, call if you need anything and one of us will come over.” He said as she nodded then slipped through the door closing it softly. Setting the picture down on the table by the bed where he could see it she pulled the chair up close to the bed and just watched him sleep for a few minutes.
“Gus I won’t let you leave me—not after all we’ve been through to get where we are in our life together.” She whispered memorizing his face from the shape of it to how he looks just like this when he’s asleep.
Gently laying her hand on his face she stroked his cheek until he began to stir. “Harley?” he said as she watched him open his eyes.
“I’m here baby. I’m beside you. I love you.” She replied kissing his mouth. He raised his hand to the back of her head to hold her in place as he kissed her again.
“I missed ya baby.” Gus said as he looked up into her eyes smiling. Looking in her eyes he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “How are you feeling? I know you haven’t felt good today. I’m sure helping me hasn’t helped you any either.” Pulling his hand up between them she threaded her fingers with his and he squeezed her hand. “I missed you too honey. I’m feeling better Gus no need to worry---.” “But I do worry about you honey.” He retorted. “That’s part of my job description.” Smiling at him she laid her cheek on their fingers, “How’re ya doing?” She asked him seriously.
"Hurt like hell.” He said quietly. “Where?” she asked watching him and he saw the worry in her eyes. “From my stomach down.” Carefully raising his shirt she started to touch him but her hand stopped in mid air. Seeing her hand stop his heart broke.
“You can touch me sweetheart.” He replied softly.
“But you are hurting and I don’t want to make it worse.” “Harley baby you won’t.” he said as he took her hand and placed it on his stomach. Slowly she began to rub over his stomach hoping that any easy touch would ease the pain. Seeing him bite his lip hard and close his eyes, Harley stopped but didn’t move her hand. “I know it hurts but try to relax Gus.” she said as they stared at each other as she continued. When she saw him ease up on his lip she leaned over and kissed him.
“I’d rather have your touch any day sweetie.” He said as she pulled his shirt down. She smiled, “do you want to go in the kitchen with me?”
He nodded and she went to the corner and brought his chair up next to the side of the bed and raised one of the arms. He slid himself off the bed and into the chair and then Harley placed his legs on the footrests. Leaving the arm raised she pushed him to the bathroom and helped him there and closed the door; waiting until he called her then helped him back in the chair and he followed her to the kitchen.
He began to sort through mail as she went to the sink, “Junk, Junk, Medical bill, Medical bill.” “I’ll pass Alex the medical bills when I see her honey. Harley replied. Gus turned around, “I don’t like knowing she’s paying the medical bills Harley.” Turning she looked at him, “Sweetie, she wants to do something for you and help you anyway she can. She knows this is a way she can help.”
“I know I agreed that she could help us this way but I still don’t like it. “He stated. She went to him and squeezed his hand even as he pulled her to him and kissed her. “Wanted to kiss my girl!” he said grinning when she stood up. Chuckling she stepped away. “Are the boys upstairs?” Gus asked helping her pull stuff from the refrigerator for dinner. “No the boys are with daddy tonight.” She replied going to the sink. She didn’t see him when he stopped and looked at her, “So it’s just us tonight?”
Turning she looked over, “Yep I wanted us to have time together.” She replied. “I wanted us to be happy for one night.” He went to her, “Honey we are happy… you know that.” “I do but we can be happier.”
“We can? How?” Gus asked puzzled. Taking his hand she looked at him, “can you feel my touch?” He nodded. Not saying anything she slipped his hand under her shirt to rest on her tummy. “The errand I ran today was to Dr. Sedwick’s office.” He held up his hand to keep her from saying anything and she saw his eyes brighten with tears.
“Are you? Are we… pregnant?” he whispered. Seeing her nod he pulled her against him. “Oh my g--- I love you so much!” he said kissing her deeply. “This is the best… you’re the best.” He said when they broke apart. “You’re not upset?” she asked. “No, this gives me something else worth fighting for. Seeing her hesitation, he stopped, “Sweetie I love you no matter what this disease does and I’m not going to leave you, I’ll fight with everything I have, believe me.” “I do honey I just didn’t know how you’d react with the timing and everything.” She said smiling as tears slid from her eyes.
“I’m thrilled Harley! Gus replied gently laying both hands on her tummy. “My baby.” “I just wanted it to be us tonight when I told you so we could be together.” Harley said. “I’m glad you did.”
Over dinner they talked about the life and the family they had created together, there were times that they were quiet each realizing the severity of what they were facing but they knew together they could face it.
Together they re-lived some of their favorite memories or cuddled on the couch or talked about anything including the fears each were thinking or even the peace that each felt.
Later that night, after Harley had helped Gus get in bed she heard him complaining of pain. Going to the kitchen she brought back a pan of warm water and a wash rag and sat down by him. “This is the best I can do until Frank or Coop is here to help with the tub babe.” She replied soaking the rag and after wringing it out washed his face.
“Feels good sweetheart.” He mumbled.
She smiled as she washed his neck then moved to his arms hoping the heat would soak in and help the nerves. Moving to his chest she went gently knowing this would be painful. When she looked up he was watching her, “I love you.” “Aitoro, I love you too and so does this munchkin.” She said happily. Going back to what she was doing she left the rag at his stomach knowing the heat was helping the pain he was feeling when he sighed.
Finishing she took the things back to the kitchen and came back bringing back an Advil for him to take. Lifting the rail on one side of the bed, she helped him move over even as he bites his lip; climbing in next to him they got comfortable where Gus wouldn’t be in pain and holding her as best he could he placed a hand at her tummy again. “A daddy, I can’t believe it.” She smiled kissing him; settling down she fell asleep.
Gus wasn’t really that sleepy yet so he just lay there stroking Harley’s hair; listening to her breathing. As much as he was thrilled about the baby he couldn’t help but wonder what type of dad he would be to this baby when he couldn’t even be there with his girl the way he wanted to be to help her with the delivery or even to hold him/ or her afraid his touch would stop. Plus how could he provide since he was on paid medical leave from the police department now?
“I can’t do this or I’ll go crazy—one day at a time Gus.” he whispered to himself.” Glancing over he stared at Harley for a minute then as gently as he could placed his hand on her tummy again, “Daddy’s here baby and I’m not going anywhere…” he stopped when Harley snuggled a little closer with her head on his shoulder. With a soft kiss to her forehead he drifted off.
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To Be Continued…
Copyright © GusGus November / 2005
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